To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

Also all great when parents are totally healthy. But seeing that 50% of people have a chronic illness by the time they are 70yo, it’s unlikely to be the case.

Again, would I say so? Nope. I wouLD smile, congratulate her and hope she will get what she is hoping for.

My friend had her baby at the same age. She’s now got a child in their first year of school along with an 84 year old mother who is struggling and is also hitting menopause! I really wanted children and couldn’t have them, but I wouldn’t swop places with her. Of course we all support her, but lots of us have said we thought she was too old amongst ourselves.

I hope all goes well with the pregnancy and a healthy happy baby is born.

It makes me angry how people judge a woman for having a baby at 46. Nobody would bat an eyelid if it was a man.

(Lol she’s hitting menopause not her mother! That read a bit strangely!)

It's very selfish and too old in my opinion.

Thats wonderful and I hope they continue to thrive but this is not the norm from what ive seen, working in the NHS.

My parents are mid 70s and still working in the NHS themselves, with other spritely surgeons and consultants.

Here we go again! Another thread full of unpleasant judgement.

I hope your friend didn’t congratulate her ‘friend’ and then bitch behind her back.

Whether or not you consider 46 too old is purely subjective. If you had children in your 20’s/early 30’s you probably think it is. I had three children in my 40’s, good pregnancies/births and three healthy amazing children.

Life is different for everyone. Not everyone wants or is able to have children earlier in life.

I have a friend who gave birth to twins at 49. They’re now 10. She is a marvellous mum and they are very much loved.

It's her decision. I've heard the old adage - first before 26, last before 36. I think that's to do with risk of abnormalities.
I am early 40's with a 16 year old and would I hell start again! God bless her enthusiasm!!

That said, you suggest she has a partner 'hasn't met the right person until right now'.
It's got to be a lot easier with two than being a single mother.
How old is he?
Or is this one of those threads where you just throw an old OP out there and run?

That is hugely risky for the child to be born to such an ‘Elderly primagravida”
She’ll be dealing with a stroppy teen in her Sixties - not fair on either.

Just because you “Can” doesn’t mean you “ Should”

Health aspects to child would be my first concern.

It's definitely too old imo. The odds of her getting to the end of the pregnancy and giving birth to a healthy baby without any complications really aren't great. I'd never say anything though.

Personally, for me, as in me being 46 and pregnant (I am currently 30 and have 2 dc and am 'done') I would think I was too old. But others, it is completely up to them. If they're pleased I'd be pleased. Your other friend needs to keep her feelings to herself!

I don’t like myself for this but I feel really jealous of all of you with healthy parents in their 70’s.

Nobody would say "too old " for a man of this age.

A friend would be happy for you- the person who commented is no friend.

Those who are saying she's too old can't possibly know this without knowing the person in question. Some of the people on here sound as bad as the OP's friend's 'friend'.

I’m very happy for her, I bet it is a much longed for and will be a well loved & cared for child. & a fulfilling, if tiring, experience for the parents.

Scientific studies have shown that women who conceive in their 40's are more likely to be fit and healthy in their older age - their bodies are "younger" and age more slowly.

So your friend was being a B but you can be there to support your friend with her wonderful happy news.

Where I live most women are in their 40's having their last child so it is not something we judge (I often find MN is a parallel universe to my locale - no one I know had a child when they were in their 20's, we were just out if University and starting our first jobs, travelling, living and working abroad before returning in our late 20's / 30's to settle down).

My dad was almost 60 when my youngest sibling was born, and dad lived independently to age 96 - he then suffered some strokes and was in a home for a year before he died, aged 97.

I was 41 when I had my second. My opinion is that if you haven't gone through the menopause then your not too old to be a mum. Physically it will be harder (And there are obviously risks to be having a baby in your 40s) but I found the life experience that came with age was a benefit if that makes sense. Just be prepared for people to assume She's 'granny' happened to me and I was only 43 at the time

LMAO you’d think all 30 somethings were Olympic athletes walking 10km a day with their small children. “Oh it’s so selfish you won’t be able to swim the Channel together on her for her 16th birthday”. Er, no 1/3 of us are extremely overweight and something like 1/4 are clinically obese. She’s probably going to dote on that child and give a lot more time and attention than most parents do and will probably look after herself better as well.

Not this again. Some women, for a variety of reasons have babies when they are older. Threads like this give the nay sayers yet another excuse for putting older mums down.

Mind your own bloody business. Age is but one factor that impacts your success at parenting.

I hate these threads. Makes older parents, of which I am one, feel like shit.

Ps, my friends partner is older than her and I judge him the same. They used frozen eggs. They considered having another baby a year after because “if this one is going to have elderly parents at a young age they might as well have a sibling to help!” (said slightly as a joke)

If she conceived naturally, which I'm presuming she did, then she isn't too old! This must have happened before contraception was invented and people managed . None of your friends business really, she needs to butt out. Not ideal at that age but life is not ideal at times. I can't see the point in commenting, the pregnancy is not going to be undone, congratulate them and carry on.

“Scientific studies have shown that women who conceive in their 40's are more likely to be fit and healthy in their older age - their bodies are "younger" and age more slowly.”

Interesting.