To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

Also listing famous men is irrelevant. They do not carry the physical burden of child carrying or birth and can afford nannies.

Also listing famous men is irrelevant. They do not carry the physical burden of child carrying or birth and can afford nannies.

Not all women in their late 40s will have a pregnancy that results in long term disability to them or the child. In fact, most will not. Therefore, once you strip away those risk factors, the comparison between older male and female parents is valid.

We have no idea what the OP’s friend’s finances are, but given that she has a husband and both parents have had significant time to develop their careers, and they will probably only have one child, the chances if them having plenty of spare money et to spend on childcare and other domestic support are pretty high. Anyway, how is having a nanny relevant to the criticism that the parent may die when the child is still in their teens or twenties?

Personally I think it’s too old although it’s not up to the other friend to say anything.

There is zero risk in an older man donating his sperm and a great deal of risk in a 46 year old woman having a baby.Basic biology.

Once the risk is determined to be zero - ie healthy baby is born do people then equate father and mother? Fine for both then

Not all women in their late 40s will have a pregnancy that results in long term disability to them or the child. In fact, most will not. Therefore, once you strip away those risk factors, the comparison between older male and female parents is valid.

I hadn't even considered risk factors, just the general burden of growing a baby and breastfeeding it.. the weeks/months or years of lost sleep. Maybe George clooney et al do get up and do night feeds and nursery runs but I doubt it

@randomer
You are wrong older men's sperm can have chromosomal abnormalities so you are wrong again

I don't think it's too old. She is not too old to have a baby. It's very common in your 40's.
I had one in my 40's and I work too

@Thedogscollar I believe she means risk to the man??

Ok I'm wrong twice.Woop de bloody do.

A friend of mine had her kids at 31 and 34. By 36 she was dead from cancer. Okay, if you have a baby at 46 you may be less likely to have as many years with your child, but sadly that could be true for any one of us. Life is a fucker sometimes. I’m glad your friend has found happiness and is having a much longed for baby.... as many other posters have said my great grandmother had her last baby at 48, which was mistaken for the menopause when she first conceived! Your friend has conceived and so must not be “too old” for a baby.

At 46, you are probably financially stable and can afford some help around the house or baby,
So that really makes life much easier.

Very few 20 something mothers have that,
also, I see great number have a second baby straight away , so of course it’s not easy looking after 2 under twos!

Females can be fertile until their 50s
So it is not too old
Until menopause

I've never heard anyone say that a male is too old & their fertility is longer

All your pregnant friend needs is congrats
And a normal anomaly scan.

At 46, you are probably financially stable and can afford some help around the house or baby,
So that really makes life much easier.

Why would you automatically assume that? I work for a local council and know countless people in their 40's and 50's who rent and are on minimum wage.

Ooh yes be happy for her, and also the world’s good enough at making women feel bad about ourselves about lots of other things, so I definitely wouldn’t be trying to sour her good news. I wish her huge congratulations on her happy news, she sounds lucky to have a nice friend like you.

Just so I understand - why is it ‘selfish’ to have your first baby at 46 when this is the first time you have met a suitable life partner?

Why would you automatically assume that? I work for a local council and know countless people in their 40's and 50's who rent and are on minimum wage.

it's not assuming to realise that many women wait to have a child until they are financially stable. Woman don't all wait until their 40s just because they are not done partying in their 30s

and even when it's not a choice, most people have more money as they go up at work.

Yes.

@Soooh

Just so I understand - why is it ‘selfish’ to have your first baby at 46 when this is the first time you have met a suitable life partner?

I think it's selfish because it makes the lazy ones who can't get out of their sofa by 35 feel bad about their lack of drive, energy and interest...

I certainly wouldn't have liked having a 60 year old mother at age 13

I was 36 and my husband was 49 iscthat too old?

and even when it's not a choice, most people have more money as they go up at work.

... meanwhile in the real world!!

Anyway in this particular circumstance it's not because the person in question is more financially secure or is now a home owner.
All we know is that she's now met someone she wishes to have a dc with and she hasn't done in the past.

@Notimeforaname

I certainly wouldn't have liked having a 60 year old mother at age 13

age means absolutely nothing, you have no idea what you are talking about .

You can have a lazy, ,slobbish and embarrassing mum at any age, and fantastic 60+ year old. It's down to individual, not age.

Children don't judge their parents based on their age, but on their behaviour and personalities....

Some posters seem to kid themselves that being youngER make them great parents.. good luck with that.

... meanwhile in the real world!! hmm

in the real world, you tend to get pay rise and promotion as you get more experience... I am sorry if it's such a big shock for you.