To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

@midnightstar66

Who has said that? Can you link where someone has said that sentence? Or are you another one using over dramatic language to try and make your point sound more valid?

If you chose to ignore the vitriol in some of the last 700+ messages and be goady, I am not sure what point you are trying to make.

I leave you to it

Good luck @LittleTiger007 . Had my baby at 46 too. Problem free labour and birth.

@Sstarlight

I actually agree, I think it's pretty selfish.

I'm always confused as to why people say this - how is it selfish exactly? Is it because you think the parents won't be around for as long? My dad died at 64. He had me at a very average age, of 37 (I was the 3rd). I was just turning 27 when he died. Having their baby at 46, they are likely to still be around before the child turns 30. You never know how long you are going to live for - someone who has children in their 20s and 30s, like my dad, may still pass in their 60s - and someone who has their kids in their 40s may live to 100!

Fact is people do all sorts of things as parents that others judge as selfish. Age barely factors into it one the dc are actually here.

So what's not too old? We had our first and only at 39.

Not an outrageous difference.

Seeing how fucking useless some (note I said some) younger parents are.

Good luck to her.

@CheetasOnFajitas

Hugh Grant has had five children since he turned 51. George Clooney’s twins were born when he was 56. Nobody batted an eyelid.

That is totally wrong, There were loads of complaints about Hugh Grant, not only for being an older father, but also for having children with different women and not in a linear way i.e. I think he had a child with a previous wife while with the next one. I don't think it's a problem because he can obviously provide for them all, but some have complained about his multi-baby mothers.

As for Clooney, there are even widespread suggestions that he's gay and only married late in life because his career needed a cover for that.

This whole thread just proves that woman's place is to be in the wrong at all times

PMT, period rage, pregnancy hormones, PND, peri-menopausal, menopausal blah blah blah but Boys will be boys or Just bants.

It's so sexist.

Thank you @Frenchdressing & @theDudesmummy.
Sometimes life doesn’t go as you plan it! I planned to have 5 babies by the time I was 30! 🤣 now I laugh in the face of my young naive self.

That is totally wrong, There were loads of complaints about Hugh Grant, not only for being an older father, but also for having children with different women and not in a linear way i.e. I think he had a child with a previous wife while with the next one. I don't think it's a problem because he can obviously provide for them all, but some have complained about his multi-baby mothers.

As for Clooney, there are even widespread suggestions that he's gay and only married late in life because his career needed a cover for that.

I meant specifically about their ages. Link me to a quote from a credible source criticising Grant for having kids in his fifties using the same arguments that are being levied against the OP’s friend (dying when child is young, not having the energy to parent to an acceptable standard..).

Oh and the comment about Clooney being gay and needing a beard is pathetic. As if he would need to stay in the closet if he were. You are really sad to lap up such bullshit.

I can remember MickJagger getting serious criticism for his last couple of babies, but to an extent the rich do get a pass that mere mortals don’t.

People are seriously saying that they think a woman should rather remain childless than have a wanted baby in her mid-40s?

I know a woman who had DC at ages 53 and 54. Not her eggs but she carried them to term and is an active parents. So not too old as far as I’m concerned

@Norabloody

I know a woman who had DC at ages 53 and 54. Not her eggs but she carried them to term and is an active parents. So not too old as far as I’m concerned

Not ideal to be 70 with a 16 year old though? Or even 64 with a ten year old.

"Oh and the comment about Clooney being gay and needing a beard is pathetic. As if he would need to stay in the closet if he were. You are really sad to lap up such bullshit."

I haven't got an opinion on whether it's true or not. I'm just passing on the widespread rumours linked to his older age at marriage and having his first child. There is a widespread belief that Hollywood leading men need to appear straight. I'm not saying I believe it or agree with it or anything, just saying it's a belief that's out there.

I always find the sexism and ageism on mumsnet shocking. FFS a baby is a reason to celebrate esp if it's much wanted. Nobody knows what the future holds and it's not like there's some magic formula that says mothers in their 20's and 30's are always healthy, fit and brilliant at being mothers. Some sort of magic gong doesn't hit when you're 40 and you drop off into ill health. Lots of younger mothers have health issues, baby's with health issues etc. Its as if some people want the entire pregnancy to be reduced to one variable.

"using the same arguments that are being levied against the OP’s friend (dying when child is young, not having the energy to parent to an acceptable standard..)."

Those are not all the arguments though are they. People are also mentioning the increased risk of carrying the child, pregnancy and labour complications, which are hardly relevant for Hugh Grant.
The comments on Clooney ARE directly related to his age.

How sad that so many women on here feel clapped out by 40. That isn't really normal. I would suggest a visit to the GP to check there isn't something wrong or at least a lifestyle overhaul.

Parents who had their children in their 20s could die early, leaving their children alone in the world, whereas parents who had them in their forties or fifties could live to be in their nineties or hundreds..It makes no sense at all to be judgemental about this.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

How sad that so many women on here feel clapped out by 40. That isn't really normal. I would suggest a visit to the GP to check there isn't something wrong or at least a lifestyle overhaul.

Are they feeling clapped out in their forties because they’ve raised their children? 🤔

I had a theory that I felt super young in my late thirties because I didn’t have kids. So for those on this thread really bit understanding how a woman in her 40s could contemplate having her first child. It’s because she’s had 40 years of uninterrupted sleep!!

*not

Those are not all the arguments though are they. People are also mentioning the increased risk of carrying the child, pregnancy and labour complications, which are hardly relevant for Hugh Grant.
The comments on Clooney ARE directly related to his age.

What comments about Clooney? Link?
You are totally missing my point by zooming in on the various pregnancy-related risks that of course apply only to women. My whole point was that when you look at the “older parent” factors that CAN apply to older parents, men are usually not criticised on the basis of those factors to the same extent that women are.

..that CAN apply to both parents

I can remember MickJagger getting serious criticism for his last couple of babies, but to an extent the rich do get a pass that mere mortals don’t.

Also he was in his 70s, not late forties.

I had a theory that I felt super young in my late thirties because I didn’t have kids. So for those on this thread really bit understanding how a woman in her 40s could contemplate having her first child. It’s because she’s had 40 years of uninterrupted sleep!!

Haha this exactly. 11 years of parenting and my dc still limit my sleep massively. I'm exhausted and all the stuff that comes with parenting primary age dc. Those with toddlers or not yet given birth can't even begin to understand 😆