To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

Just because the gamble paid off for you, doesn’t mean it will for everyone. So while I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s selfish, I do think it is better to have your children under 40 if at all possible (I know that it isn’t for everyone).

Honestly, it's not like I or OP's imaginary friend were just sitting around thinking that hmm, shall I have kids when I'm 26 or 36? Nah, 46 is much better to try! The gamble here is to have a child when you're 46, or not have children at all. Deciding that oh yeah 36 would have been better is not really an option, is it?

I think your friend can fuck off. It’s none of her damn business. Why is ok for men to be shagging and baby creating until they’re des o’connor age but a woman gets judged? Crack on.

"No, because we can't be arsed as there are more interesting things to do. Not because we all fall asleep in our dressing gowns by 9.30"

I don't fall asleep in my dressing gown at 9.30 either. I'm still waiting to know why I'm old for my time.

How lovely she was able to. Congratulations. She will nerd to dig deep.

@VestaTilley

Your other friend is right. It’s too old, and unfair on the child.

She’ll be more knackered than she can possibly comprehend, and the child may suffer as a result.

Ludicrous self indulgence to get pregnant this late, unless it’s a genuine accident.

Fuck off with your ‘ludicrous self indulgence’. What a horrible, judgemental thread.

I shouldn’t read these but came in in support of the OP’s friend but then read the horrible comments about older mums. I am an older mother and I am fucking proud of it. I have 2 great kids. Yes I am older but I am not obese I don’t smoke...,are we judging these parents too? Doing things that can shorten their lives.

Tiredness!? All parenting is tiring. I run 5k three times a week. I’m hardly hobbling under the strain of having kids.

I would have liked kids earlier but dint happened but I Conceived easily both times, no problems, kids are fine. It’s not but there are challenges for every parent.

Am now hiding this thread. Well done on making any mother in her 40s feel like shit.

"Well, having the children meant we didn't do as much night clubbing wink"

But you wouldn't be anyway at 47 is the point because you wouldn't have as much energy as when you were younger and neither would your friends.

Men =sperm producer.Women=womb,menopause. Try to comprehend

If the mum loves the child that’s the most important thing.
Age is irrelevant - life isn’t in boxes.
Ignore your friend.

Too old.

Sorry but I agree 46 is too old. When the child is 13 she'll be 60, people will think she's the child's gran.

Awful, absolutely awful. Far too old!! I'd absolutely tell her too and be very embarrassed for her

Good for her! She's lucky and if she wants to become a parent then this is amazing

Her body obviously didn't think she was too old. Personally I know I get more tired in my 40s than I did in my 30s when I had my two, but otherwise why not (and it's their private business, anyway).

Why "embarrassed"?

You are all entitled to your opinion but please read previous comments....there are older mothers on this thread and your comments are horrible. Show some fucking consideration before you post!

Why "embarrassed"?

Because she’s 46 and clearly been having sex. At her age! Eeeeeew!

@miserableannie

Awful, absolutely awful. Far too old!! I'd absolutely tell her too and be very embarrassed for her

Imagine being assumed your granny at the school gates. Beyond embarrassing

This is insane!
All those who are stating that she is too old - what do you suggest happens now? A forced termination?

Good for her, I say. Her body, her choice.

Women have been having babies in their forties for generations. Stop thinking the world revolves around those in their 20s…

Imagine being assumed your granny at the school gates. Beyond embarrassing

My dad was prematurely grey before he was 30. It was assumed by many he was my grandfather.

Not “beyond embarrassing” at all.

Who cares?

I know this is going to go down like a ton of sick with some but I would take an older parent (like myself) with stability and money who can afford pretty much anything for this child and their older siblings, than a younger parent has neither of those things. In the same way I would again take said older parent who knows the value of life having been so close to the edge over some young person who has no concept of what it all means having never faced death straight down the barrel of a gun.

I hope all these judgemental people are as judgemental about people who have a baby at an acceptable age but cant afford to feed them without support, have drug problems, no partner , no stability, health issues etc. Judge one and judge all. Oh I forgot that's all ok but 46, that's ridiculous!

I can imagine it could seem "embarrassing" in certain...ahem..."lower end" areas where PP presumably resides. Other places - not so much.

@miserableannie

Imagine being assumed your granny at the school gates. Beyond embarrassing

you might select a granny look when you are middle-aged or earlier, many women won't. You are probably less likely to let yourself go if you have younger children and teens.

A good friend had her only child at 46. Married since age 29 but she just didn't get pregnant before. Why selfish? Her son is now a strapping 18 year old and she is fit and so is his father who is even older.
My sister had her only at 45 - PCOS and her age and her doc said she wouldn't be able to get pregnant until she of course did.
If she got pregnant naturally I don't get the issue. You can lose a parent at any age - as my own children can testify.