To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

It’s all down to personal circumstance. I know people in their 60s who can run around after young kids, maybe this lady’s partner is younger and can do so I she can’t.
There’s no perfect time for anything in this life. We have one life to live and people should for us on their own lives ie. the mutual friend should shut up and keep her opinions to themselves.

It's interesting that you say younger parents would have more physical energy .... not in my experience - my DH and I are 'older' parents (in our 40s when we had our DS), looking around at the sports clubs, scouting activities etc it is clearly the 'older' parents who are helping out .....
Where are the younger parents ? . And my 60 year old DH had a fabulous skiing holiday with our 18 year old DS last Christmas ...

I was running Cub Camps well into my mid 50s, plenty of 'young' parents commented to me 'where do you get your enthusiasm from?' They seemed to have plenty of energy/time to go clubbing and drinking . And yes, I know that makes me judgemental.

If it’s her first baby I would imagine she’s very happy . Good luck to her.

Old Mums Rock

I think that's very hypocritical. You're saying it's OK to think it, but not to say it

Of course it is- there is no such thing as the thought police. There are many thoughts we have every day that dont need expressing FFS.

Stop acting like you never had a judgmental thought about anyone because i guarantee you cannot say you never have.

Challenge yourself:
I am selfish for having a baby at 15?
I would do anything to have a baby?
I'm 46 and am pregnent with my first.

My mum had me when she was 42. I was the last of 5 children. This was before IVF. She was a great mum and had loads of energy. She was very young at heart and I never felt that she was old. If anything I probably kept her feeling younger than her age. She was as up to date as all my friend’s mums. If she could conceive me naturally then she wasn’t too old. She was 81 when she died and I was 39. Why would anyone consider that to be too old?

No-one else's business but her own. The appropriate response is to offer congratulations. No judgement needed.

That’s lovely news, I wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby/child.

Always lovely to hear of happiness and joy.

I agree it’s far too old, coming from experiencing having children myself

That’s your own pov though.

I wouldn’t have children now because I have mine. I’ve spent 16 years bringing them up and I don’t want to do it again, i want some freedom back.

However, if i didn't have children, and had a relatively unhindered adult life, without the exhaustion and sheer time consumption that comes with children, i may feel differently.

What I’m trying to say is it may be an exhausting idea for those of us in the middle of child rearing, but this woman is at the start of the journey and hasn’t had 10+ years of sleepless nights and self sacrifice, so may feel considerably fitter and up for the challenge :)

Respect to you ItgetsBetter! You have a brilliant attitude! I bet you are a way better mum than very many self satisfied younger women who feel smug about having had their kids at the ' right' age

I think anyone commenting on this thread that was lucky enough to have their children young should keep their beaks out. Don't judge another person until you've walked in their shoes.

Is there not risk to the baby here? Sorry nobody seems to be bothered about that.Personally I felt brilliant in my late 40's with a 10 year old and an 8 year old.Post menopause, I can honestly say I was a completely different person.And not in a good way.

It is selfish if it was a planned baby. It is not so much about who is going to be raising that kid but more about a kid taking caring responsibilities before he/she has cemented his/her own family.

My mum was 43 when she had me and I’m 30 now. Growing up I was always aware that everyone’s parents were younger then mine and it affected me. My mum was also too tired to do fun stuff aswell. However now I’m older and so is she we do the fun stuff. My mum worked 3 jobs while I was growing up so I’m amazingly grateful for her. However one point my mum has always said is that if a test came back showing I had had Down’s syndrome or anything she would have aborted as she felt at her age she wouldn’t have managed. If your friend feels she can manage then good luck to her and that special baby.

[quote Dreahil1]@herecomesthsun so can men too. Did you know that? [/quote]
People with ovaries can get pregnant.

So that would include transmen too, yes, although would they not also call themselves women?

(not too sure of your point here?)

The average life expectancy of people in the UK is around 81-82 and rising depending where you live.

A woman of 46 can expect to be around in her early 80s, and therefore she will be there for her child till they are in their late 30s.

Let's get some reality into this thread.

Shock horror fertile woman gets pregnant with a partner she loves and has a child. No one should comment other than to wish them the best.

My friend was married to her childhood sweetheart at 20. Kids at 30 and 33 .He was dead at 47 and the last 7 years were awful, 7 years of horrendous stage 4 brain cancer. Aged 47. Two kids aged 10 and 7. Life is cruel. Life is precious.

I hope your friend has a healthy baby and a happy life.
Nobody can gurantee their life span. Young mums can die young. My mum had me when she was 30 she died at 54. I'd take 24 years of my great mum than 50 years with a poor one.

Someone at my work is 56 and pregnant. Yes 56. I think that is too old, but it's none of my business so I've kept my nose out, as should the mutual 'friend'.

Sorry no they wouldn't, getting mixed up here.

Lets think how to phrase this again in a gender inclusive way.

I've read that more Downs babies are actually born to younger women because older mums to be are much more likely to get the test for it early on

I can’t believe people say it’s selfish! Who knows how long we have on earth? As long as the child is loved, cared and provided for, that’s all the matters.

My dad was 46 when I was born. It wasn't a problem but it's certainly hard as an only child now I'm early 30s and he's pushing 80.

The opinions of internet strangers don't matter though OP. Best of luck to your friend.

@Gwenhwyfar

"I’m 47 and am the healthiest and most energetic I’ve ever been. I can operate on less sleep and feel great, I also had an MOT a year ago and have the health attributes of a women 20 years younger. So honestly you really are only able to speak for yourself and not all women in their forties."

I mentioned in my comment that I'm talking about all my friends as well. I don't know any who stay out much after midnight on a regular basis any more and we did in our 30s.

so people have grown up, have a packed schedule and prefer getting up early. What does it have to do with parenting?

If you think you are a better parent because your kids can see you out all night instead of doing something fun the following day, you might want to revise your priorities and your definition of what a good parent is