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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 30/12/2020 17:12

YABU

Lockheart · 30/12/2020 17:13

Why wouldn't you eat it? You don't have to be vegan to eat vegan food.

Cutting your nose to spite your face springs to mind here.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/12/2020 17:13

You don't have to be vegan or gluten free to eat things that are. If they taste good, why wouldn't you eat them?

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2020 17:13

Have you tried it? Do you dislike it?

vanillandhoney · 30/12/2020 17:14

How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it? Hmm

YABU.

Seafog · 30/12/2020 17:14

Is there a reason you can't eat it?
Or give it back to her, if she does eat them, so they don't end up binned?

Shamoo · 30/12/2020 17:15

Totally understand. Gluten free and vegan versions of treat products are not as enjoyable as the normal versions, and whilst it’s great they exist for the people who need or want them, no person who doesn’t need or want (for ethical reasons) them would pick them. I do understand her not wanting to buy you non-vegan products, but in that scenario she just shouldn’t get you a food based gift.

I say this as somebody who is married to a coeliac and therefore I eat a lot of gf goods. Other than dried pasta, I haven’t found anything that is equivalent to the non-gf version.

Presumably you could donate the gift though?

Ginfordinner · 30/12/2020 17:15

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

Vegan chocolate is plain chocolate, that's all. It doesn't contain tofu or lentils or avocado.

Grow up!

AvoidingNextdoorNeighbour · 30/12/2020 17:15

OP have you tried them? They might be okay. I mean, the odds are well against that, but hey, you never know.

milienhaus · 30/12/2020 17:15

Vegan chocolate these days is pretty similar to non-vegan chocolate, have you tried them? If it’s dark chocolate especially it’s basically vegan and gluten free anyway!

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 30/12/2020 17:15

She is a vegan, she won't want to contribute to the animal product industry in any way, it will go against her beliefs.

Just try them, you might like them.

Etinox · 30/12/2020 17:16

Why can’t you eat them?

pinkyredrose · 30/12/2020 17:16

What on earth is the problem? Hmm

ApolloandDaphne · 30/12/2020 17:16

Why don't you try them? I am not vegan but recently I had vegan brownies in a cafe. I cannot describe how delicious they were.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:16

@Ginfordinner

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

Vegan chocolate is plain chocolate, that's all. It doesn't contain tofu or lentils or avocado.

Grow up!

I am grown up, thanks.
OP posts:
SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 17:16

Gluten free and vegan versions of treat products are not as enjoyable as the normal versions

That isn't necessarily true at all. I've had wonderful chocolate truffles that just happened to be vegan.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2020 17:17

Lots of posh chocolate is accidentally vegan.
Most chocolate doesn’t have gluten in it.

It sounds like you’re just being snotty here.

SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 17:17

Why is it not something you'd eat?

HangOnToYourself · 30/12/2020 17:17

YABU not to try it

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:17

@ApolloandDaphne

Why don't you try them? I am not vegan but recently I had vegan brownies in a cafe. I cannot describe how delicious they were.
This is encouraging! It's just whenever I've had vegan chocolate before I've never liked it, just doesn't taste the same!
OP posts:
riddles26 · 30/12/2020 17:17

Glad you are not my friend, what an utterly ridiculous attitude to have.
I presume you also avoid eating fruit and vegetables because they are suitable for vegans Hmm

Margay · 30/12/2020 17:17

Do you not like dark chocolate, or is it just that eating something labelled “vegan” goes against your principles?

Rtmhwales · 30/12/2020 17:18

Most of the vegan chocolate I've tried is gross.

But that's not even the point of the OP. If you'd sent your friend a box of regular non vegan chocolates how would she have reacted? Not really kind to send her/you something they don't like and wouldn't consume.

SnuggyBuggy · 30/12/2020 17:18

Have you even tried it? Vegan food isn't dangerous to people who eat meat.

1940s · 30/12/2020 17:18

Do you also dislike bread, pasta, potatoes, fruit and vegetables?