AIBU? Vegan gift.

[FrostyChocolateMilkshake]

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

YABU. I wouldn't expect my muslim friends to buy me alcohol or pork based products even if it's not for them.

It's the fact I bend over backwards to buy vegan products for her because I respect the fact she is vegan. This hasn't been reciprocated.

But presumably it goes against her morals to spend money on vegan products, whereas it's not the same the other way around?

Chocolate is chocolate, vegan or not.

YABU

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake if she is vegan she wouldn't buy anything containing animal products even as a gift as it would be against her ethics.

My issue is - my friend bought me vegan chocolate as SHE is vegan. I wouldn't buy her milk chocolate...

This is a stupid position to take. She wouldn’t eat milk chocolate. There’s no reason why you wouldn’t eat vegan chocolate except you’ve already decided you won’t like it or even bother to try it.

Have you tried it?

Booja booja truffles are vegan and really lovely

Plain chocolate is also vegan

In fact a lot of things are naturally vegan !

I'm struggling to believe this isn't a reverse tbf.

If your friend is an ethical vegan then she won't want to spend her money supporting an industry that goes against her beliefs. Surely you can understand that.

@ToastandJamandTea

This is ridiculous. You obviously have taken issue with her being vegan and are looking for something to be offended by. I'm not vegan but regularly buy vegan chocolate truffles as they are delicious.

This is NOT the case whatsoever; I'm actually pretty insulted that someone could say that.

I have NOTHING against veganism; if anything I think what they believe in is great for the environment etc. Please don't accuse me of being offended when you don't even know me.

But she doesn't want to spend her money on animal products....
Also I'm not sure how you've had to 'bend over backwards'. It's easy to buy vegan stuff now surely??

A lot of high end chocolate is vegan anyway even if it isn't labelled as such.
It's not quite the same thing - many vegans have ethical objections to buying anything made using animal products. they generally don't disregard their ethical position when purchasing presents.
I would definitely try the chocolates. Hopefully you'll really like them.

do you also purposley avoid items that are accidentally vegan

Oreo biscuits
foxes party rings
Bour on biscuits
craw fords pink wafers
Lotus original biscuits
Love hearts
Polo Mints
Bournville plain chocolate
Lindt chocolate 70% 80% and 90%
Green and Blacks dark chocolate Ginger, Maya gold and a selection of others
jelly tots
sherbert fountains
Frys chocolate cream
skittles sweets
Peanut butter
marmite
lotus spread
Tyrill crisps
some walkers

Or do you just take objection when you realise the gift comes from an actual person who is vegan?

I can't believe you said it would go to waste before you even tried it.

Your friend hasn't not gone to the effort to buy something you'd like, she has not bought something that goes against her beliefs.

I buy vegan chocolate for a non vegan friend sometimes, because it is his favourite. I don't like dark chocolate, but a lot of vegan chocolate is delicious now.

Just try them, open your mind a little!!

@TidyDancer

I'm struggling to believe this isn't a reverse tbf.

If your friend is an ethical vegan then she won't want to spend her money supporting an industry that goes against her beliefs. Surely you can understand that.

Yes you are probably right. I think another PP mentioned this too. Fully understand this point of view and I actually feel pretty rude now about my attitude.

YABU.

I think the issue is that most vegans these days are ethical vegans rather than due to any allergy or food intolerance. So her ethical pursuasion wpiod mean she wouldn't ever buy you non vegan friendly products.

Of all the vegan items available maybe those are her favourite chocs and she thought you'd enjoy them. She could have bought you a bottle of wine perhaps but maybe she wanted you to experience something new and yummy.

It's lovely that you buy her gifts that fit in with her lifestyle.... But she's kind of done the same here.

You wouldn’t buy her milk chocolate because (I’m guessing) she has restricted her diet and therefore gone without things she enjoys for either moral or heath reasons.
She spent/wasted her money on a treat she enjoys for a friend that doesn’t compromise her morally. You come across like a bit of an ungrateful brat so yes YABU

Seriously if she's vegan and ethically against dairy farming it would be very VERY unreasonable to expect her to buy you a box of milk tray !!

Got my mum some vegan chocs for Christmas because they're delicious. Neither of us are vegan. At least try them before writing them off and posting on a forum about how offended you are.

This is not equivalent to you buying her milk chocolate, which would be a gift she cannot eat.

This is at worst equivalent to someone buying you a brand of chocolate that isn't your preferred one and that you consider lower-quality. But I wouldn't get in a huff if someone got me Cadbury's instead of Green & Black's.

This is at best equivalent to someone sharing something you haven't tried but that she finds delicious and thinks you will too - knowing that it doesn't go against your beliefs or health to try it.

Bananas are gluten feee and vegan, do you refuse to eat them too?

Don't bother, Vegan Chocolate is vile. 🤮

Sorry just saw your update, well done on realising it. Just say thanks to your friend (if you haven’t already) a lot of food based gifts might not be to someone’s taste, I know I’ve had plenty, I just say thanks and give it to someone else or the food bank.

www.peta.org.uk/blog/44-accidentally-vegan-snack-foods/

here is an entire cupboard full of vegan items that are accidental

YABU (and ungrateful)!