Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Ritascornershop · 30/12/2020 17:18

Em, why would chocolate have gluten in it (unless in a cake or biscuit)? So basically you’re saying you don’t like dark chocolate? You don’t have to be vegan to prefer dark chocolate, most truffles are dark chocolate. She probably didn’t know you prefer milk chocolate.

Twirlings · 30/12/2020 17:18

Why would you decide you're going to waste it without even trying it?

The vegan Galaxy is better than the regular one IMO and most dark chocolate is vegan.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:19

@PurpleDaisies

Lots of posh chocolate is accidentally vegan. Most chocolate doesn’t have gluten in it.

It sounds like you’re just being snotty here.

I can tell you now I am definitely not snotty!

My issue is - my friend bought me vegan chocolate as SHE is vegan. I wouldn't buy her milk chocolate...

OP posts:
Fortheweekend · 30/12/2020 17:19

I am not vegan and a massive chocoholic and can tell you that some vegan chocolate (Vego being one) are some of my absolute faves. Try it you may be pleasantly surprised.

Etinox · 30/12/2020 17:19

You’re acting very ungrown up
Do you eat mangos? Drink water? Coke? Like macadamia nuts or truffles? I’m really confused why you’d reject the gift.

Lou98 · 30/12/2020 17:19

You would probably be surprised how many things you normally eat are vegan and gluten free. If you haven't even tried the chocolate and are saying you won't eat it purely because it's vegan then YABVU. If you've tried it and not liked it then that's different but that could have been the same whether it was vegan or not.

Buying your friend stuff that is vegan is not the same as her buying you stuff that isn't - I'm assuming here that she's vegan for moral reasons, in which case she won't agree with buying non vegan items, so it is unfair to expect her to do so.

Gatehouse77 · 30/12/2020 17:19

Would you expect a Jew or Muslim to buy you pork products because you eat them?

Would you expect someone poorer than you to buy expensive gifts because you can?

I’d at least give them a try but, alternatively, drop them in a food bank box at the supermarket. I wouldn’t bin them.

SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 17:19

If you'd sent your friend a box of regular non vegan chocolates how would she have reacted?

How is that in any way similar?

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2020 17:20

My issue is - my friend bought me vegan chocolate as SHE is vegan. I wouldn't buy her milk chocolate...

That is not a valid comparison.

She bought you chocolate.

What brand is it?

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:20

@Fortheweekend

I am not vegan and a massive chocoholic and can tell you that some vegan chocolate (Vego being one) are some of my absolute faves. Try it you may be pleasantly surprised.
That is good to hear! Maybe I should stop being judgemental about it and just try it
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:20

@PurpleDaisies an independent brand I believe (never heard of it before)

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 17:21

my friend bought me vegan chocolate as SHE is vegan

Maybe she bought it because it's lovely?

What is it?

GintyMcGinty · 30/12/2020 17:21

Have you tried them?

YABU if you've not even tried them.

louderthan1 · 30/12/2020 17:21

Yes, she bought you vegan chocolate because SHE is vegan. Vegans don't want to contribute to the animal product industry as a whole. It's an ethical standpoint, it's not quite as simple as just not eating ice cream.
Just try some!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 30/12/2020 17:22

If she’s against the use of animal products in food, she won’t want to contribute to that by buying you food with animal products in it. Maybe she’s tried these chocolates before and and they’re very nice, hence wanting to share the experience by buying them for you.

I recently made a vegan chocolate and peanut butter cake - it was amazing - and I’m not a vegan and love cake.

Absolutely no need to bin them, certainly without trying them.

alphabetsoup1980 · 30/12/2020 17:22

Of course you are being ungrateful!!

Hotcuppatea · 30/12/2020 17:22

When I did veganuary I was pleasantly surprised by how much off the shelf chocolate is vegan. Made life much easier.

HavelockVetinari · 30/12/2020 17:22

This is a weird post. Almost all dark chocolate is both vegan and gluten free Confused

Do you mean you only like milk or white chocolate with some kind of crunchy wheat-based krispies in?

ToastandJamandTea · 30/12/2020 17:22

This is ridiculous. You obviously have taken issue with her being vegan and are looking for something to be offended by.
I'm not vegan but regularly buy vegan chocolate truffles as they are delicious.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/12/2020 17:22

My guess is that she bought you vegan chocolates because she does not want to financially support companies that use animal products.

SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 17:22

The truffles I had were Booja-Booja and purchased by a non-vegan.

Shamoo · 30/12/2020 17:23

@SoupDragon - to be fair, I haven’t tried much vegan chocolate (the bit I have I didn’t like at all but i couldn’t claim to be very knowledgable). I more talk from the gf aspect, where I have very, very rarely found that something that would ordinarily have gluten in it is as good when it’s a gf version.

Of course, it may be one of those products that has no gluten in and therefore the gf aspect is irrelevant. But I assumed to state it was gf meant it was something that would usually have gluten in it. (As a side, things that stay they are gf (and charge more) when the normal versions are also gf really annoy me - I’m looking at you pesto makers!)

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2020 17:23

[quote FrostyChocolateMilkshake]@PurpleDaisies an independent brand I believe (never heard of it before)[/quote]
The vegan here might have. I got some delicious booja booja ones for Chrismas.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:23

My issue isn't necessarily that the chocolate is vegan.

It's the fact I bend over backwards to buy vegan products for her because I respect the fact she is vegan. This hasn't been reciprocated.

Although I can see now I am being hugely unreasonable and probably sound very immature! I'll just shut the fuck up and eat the chocolate I think.

Thanks to everyone who has responded, even the mean ones. Smile

OP posts:
SatishTheCat · 30/12/2020 17:24

If it was a vegan gluten free pasty or a loaf of GF vegan bread, YANBU, although the quality of GF vegan bakery goods are improving all the time.

But for chocolate YABU - good chocolate is naturally gluten free and the best quality dark chocolate is naturally vegan. If you don’t like dark chocolate then fair enough, but not eating it just because of the way it’s labeled is weird. Why not use it as a cake or pudding ingredient if you need a way to use it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread