Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:43

@KarmaStar

Yabvu.you haven't even tried them. Of course she is not going to buy animal products,even if they are not for her,each sale increases production. Interesting you didn't put the vote on. Your attitude is terrible.
In all honesty I have no idea how to turn the votes on. If I knew how to do it I would as I would be interested in what people think - after all, I posted on here to see if I was being an unreasonable turd and yep, turns out I am!
OP posts:
itchyfinger · 30/12/2020 17:43

Why cant you eat Vegan food? Does it go against your strong beliefs in the dairy industry?

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:44

@ivykaty44

I love the fact that Pringles smoky bacon flavour are vegan....
Haha, that's amazing. I need to check out this PETA list.
OP posts:
namechangefail2020 · 30/12/2020 17:45

To be fair just read the OP has admitted her attitude stinks so let's let her go eat the chocolate but do report back!

NoPinkPlease · 30/12/2020 17:45

Oh wow, I'm vegan and there are lots of delicious vegan products - whether accidentally or intentionally vegan. Oreos, digestives, bourbons, ginger nuts, lotus, green and black darker flavours of choc etc. I also don't buy presents for people that have dairy or whatever in as I don't want to support those companies or products.

I can see the OP has taken on board many people's views. The idea that someone posted that you'd return a vegan present without trying it made my head explode. Like you're anti-vegan - lol - yeah those bastards looking after animals, their health and the environment! Ha.

Treacletoots · 30/12/2020 17:45

You say you respect that your friend is vegan, yet you would have preferred her to relinquish her beliefs so that you could enjoy some chocolate with animal products in it?

If you really respect her, you wouldn't have an issue with a product that is likely delicious but you'll never know because you're behaving like a spoilt toddler.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:45

@itchyfinger

Why cant you eat Vegan food? Does it go against your strong beliefs in the dairy industry?
Sigh. If you read my posts you would realise that my issue ISNT with vegan food.

It is the fact I only buy vegan products for my friend as it is her beliefs. My friend hasn't reciprocated that and has bought me something she would like, not me.

But after reading the responses on here I realise I've been judgemental and really just need to try the chocolate and stop moaning.

OP posts:
Whoopsmahoot · 30/12/2020 17:46

Try it - you might actually enjoy them. You have nothing to loose and you’re being a twit about the whole thing.

Vates · 30/12/2020 17:46

But you're not being grown up, your responses demonstrate that in spades. Do you turn your nose up at vegetables? You're acting incredibly immature. I am pescatarian, food wise, but that doesn't stop me going vegetarian or vegan on many options. At restaurants (before current time obviously) I used to often choose the veggie option as it sounded nicer & was always tasty.

Fr0thandBubble · 30/12/2020 17:46

YABU. My husband who is very much a meat eater and hates me being vegan is always trying to steal my vegan chocolate because it tastes even better than his normal non-vegan chocolate!

Is it Bouja Bouja? If so, it is delicious!

NoPinkPlease · 30/12/2020 17:47

Yes, I'm also really invested in what she sent! If it's booja booja or vego or nomo or green and blacks, you're ok :-)

unlikelytobe · 30/12/2020 17:48

Maybe your vegan friend really rates these chocs and would like you to try them and appreciate how good they taste. Doesn't mean she's trying to convert you but just open your mind up a bit. These sort of products used to get a bad rap but are improving all the time.

Try them and report back Smile

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:48

@Treacletoots

You say you respect that your friend is vegan, yet you would have preferred her to relinquish her beliefs so that you could enjoy some chocolate with animal products in it?

If you really respect her, you wouldn't have an issue with a product that is likely delicious but you'll never know because you're behaving like a spoilt toddler.

I apologise that I come across as a "spoilt toddler" - that wasn't my intention at all.

I respect my friend's beliefs and realise now that she bought me those chocolates as she doesn't want to contribute to the dairy industry. I jumped the gun and assumed she'd bought me them to push her beliefs on me.

This is why I posted to AIBU so people could help me broaden my horizons, or see a different perspective.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:49

@unlikelytobe

Maybe your vegan friend really rates these chocs and would like you to try them and appreciate how good they taste. Doesn't mean she's trying to convert you but just open your mind up a bit. These sort of products used to get a bad rap but are improving all the time.

Try them and report back Smile

You're very right. I was probably a bit of a wanker for assuming she was pushing her beliefs on me. I shall crack them open after tea tonight Grin
OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 30/12/2020 17:49

Out of interest - what chocolate is it?

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2020 17:50

I respect my friend's beliefs and realise now that she bought me those chocolates as she doesn't want to contribute to the dairy industry.

It’s probably not even that. She probably just thought you’d actually like them. That’s the basis on which I buy presents-not to make a point.

WestendVBroadway · 30/12/2020 17:51

You wouldn't buy a vegan non vegan chocs! You are missing the point, a vegan would ONLY eat vegan chocs, a non vegan could eat any chocs. It is like meat eaters complaining that they were served a vegetarian sausage, then saying "But I wouldn't serve a vegetarian a meat sausage, so why are they serving me a veggie one?" I have had delicious meals in vegan/vegetarian restaurants or cafes (I am a meat eater), Vegetarian food can be enjoyed by all. well if they are a little more open minded than yourself

AuntieMarys · 30/12/2020 17:51

Either eat them.or regift them.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:51

@Vates

But you're not being grown up, your responses demonstrate that in spades. Do you turn your nose up at vegetables? You're acting incredibly immature. I am pescatarian, food wise, but that doesn't stop me going vegetarian or vegan on many options. At restaurants (before current time obviously) I used to often choose the veggie option as it sounded nicer & was always tasty.
What have I said that is "incredibly immature"?

I have accepted that people have pointed the errors in my ways and realised my attitude has been pretty vile. If anything I'd say that is the opposite of immaturity.

OP posts:
Marmunia1975 · 30/12/2020 17:51

Do you eat a banana for a snack? If so, congrats, you have just eaten vegan. WTF is wrong with vegan chocolate?

OFAHmusical · 30/12/2020 17:52

I understand, @FrostyChocolateMilkshake. She bought you something she would like - unless you specifically asked for chocolate, there was no need for her to buy anything vegan at all. Books, candles, flowers etc are all lovely presents and wouldn’t have affected her principles at all.

SaltyTootsieToes · 30/12/2020 17:52

I’m not vegan but have eaten vegan foods. Best macrons I ever had happened to be vegan.

I also think it’s reasonable for a vegan to choose vegan items for gifts as it follows their belief. By the way, vegan items pertains to much more than food. You could expect similar from this friend as regards lots of other products too

Sorry but I think YABU

ChronicallyCurious · 30/12/2020 17:53

YABU. You’re an omnivore. You can eat anything. You don’t have a specific diet to cater for (that you’ve mentioned) unlike your friend. You won’t drop dead from eating some vegan chocolate.

Marmunia1975 · 30/12/2020 17:53

And vegan chocolate is a lot more expensive, so count yourself lucky.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:53

@PurpleDaisies

I respect my friend's beliefs and realise now that she bought me those chocolates as she doesn't want to contribute to the dairy industry.

It’s probably not even that. She probably just thought you’d actually like them. That’s the basis on which I buy presents-not to make a point.

You're probably right Smile
OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread