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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you could have the man being pregnant, would you?

171 replies

CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 14:49

Imagine a far future where you could choose whether you wanted to be the one to be pregnant, give birth, nurse the child etc., or whether the male partner would do all that, which would you choose?

YABU = I would still do it
YANBU = I would have the man do it

Asking because I think the fear of being pregnant and going through labour is probably the biggest reason why I dont want children/am dragging my feet and if I were a man I think I would already have them by now.

OP posts:
SimonJT · 30/12/2020 14:50

It would literally be a dream come true.

Hoppinggreen · 30/12/2020 14:51

I couldn’t deal with the whinging
Mind you, if men could give birth I am sure there would be many more pain free options by now

Mrsmorton · 30/12/2020 14:53

Can you fucking imagine the whingeing?

Mousehole10 · 30/12/2020 14:53

To be honest I was terrified of pregnancy and giving birth. I have a huge fear of anything medical (even hate going to the doctors). But when it came to it, it was fine. I’d rather do it again myself and have the control then have my DH do it and hear him whine over every little thing. And giving birth was no where near as bad as I thought, think I built it up so much in my head but the reality was much better

MillieEpple · 30/12/2020 14:53

I'd take turns.

fastandthecurious · 30/12/2020 14:54

DH is convinced he's dying everytime he gets a cold. I couldn't be arsed to listen the whinging 😂

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 30/12/2020 14:55

One each probably. My husbands health is a lot more robust than mine so would have probably been a good idea for him to be involved

SachaStark · 30/12/2020 14:56

If men had the option of choosing to give birth, it would likely lead to many improvements for both sexes in terms of pain management, trauma, and postnatal care, to be honest.

Because there’s no way male pain would be ignored as much as female pain has historically been.

Angeldust747 · 30/12/2020 14:56

I enjoyed being pregnant for the most part so would want to do it again, although there is a long list of things I would want DH to experience both pregnancy and new baby related Grin

Mylittlepony374 · 30/12/2020 14:57

I hated being pregnant, threw up every day for whole pregnancy both times, lots of issues with my body, complicated births both times. BUT I really feel like my bond with my kids is different to their Dads. I know them better. Without sounding too woo woo I can feel their feelings more than he can. I don't spend any more time with them, we pretty much 50:50 share the load (live together) so I think carrying them is what has made that bond. So, no, I wouldn't have him do it if I could.
NB speaking solely for me here. I know adoptive mother's who would say the same, so perhaps it is a woman vs. man/ mum vs/dad thing. I don't know. To me it feels like a pregnancy bond.

MedusasBadHairDay · 30/12/2020 14:57

If it meant I never had to go through hyperemesis again, hell yes.

TrialOfStyle · 30/12/2020 14:58

Probably not. As tempted as it would be, I think many men (not all) would really okay the pregnancy card (judging by the men I know who are dying when they have a cold).

Mylittlepony374 · 30/12/2020 14:58

And also, the complaining he would do would be unbearable.

Theunamedcat · 30/12/2020 15:00

I think we would have a lot less children being born if men were the ones getting pregnant

Plonque · 30/12/2020 15:01

Depends on who the husband is. My current one? - no!
I have a fairly high pain threshold cos I've lived with chronic pain. I think managed to get through pregnancy quite well, with little fuss.
If it had been him, god. Just ... no. He turns utterly pathetic with the slightest illness or inconvenience as it is.

MoltenLasagne · 30/12/2020 15:03

I'd do one each taking in turn (so we'd probably end up with only one child).

Godimabitch · 30/12/2020 15:05

I love being pregnant, haven't yet got to the birth. I would like DH to get to experience it too

Holothane · 30/12/2020 15:06

Oh good god no could you imagine it every twinge would be a matter of life and death, mind you all the problems we have would be cleared up in a trice.

Whiskeylover45 · 30/12/2020 15:07

I would if it were the second child, just to shut him up about how being punched in the balls is worse. But then as PP have said, the winging would make me think twice as I may be done for murder

QueenofLouisiana · 30/12/2020 15:07

No, he’d be unbearable- each twinge would need a hospital check up.

Also, I value the knowledge that DS was held and nurtured by me for 9 months.

Original poster
CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 15:08

@Mousehole10
That's so nice to read, I was hoping to hear positive experiences like this. Yeah I'm a hypochondriac and an over thinker, I'd be terrified of the whole thing. But maybe it's not so bad once you're in it and have no other option!

OP posts:
LouJ85 · 30/12/2020 15:08

I'd like to swap part way through then swap back, so give the man the shit bits (first and last trimesters; oh and the labour), and I'll happily do the nice second trimester.

Disclaimer: currently 24 weeks pregnant and went through hell for first 14 weeks or so!! I think this has coloured my judgement on this 😂

Original poster
CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 15:09

@LouJ85
Why do you enjoy the second trimester?

OP posts:
Jollibeezus · 30/12/2020 15:10

Would deffo make DH do it haha

Original poster
CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 15:11

@Godimabitch
What is it you like about being pregnant?

My mum always said she liked being pregnant which gives me some comfort as we have basically the same body - so maybe it wouldnt be too bad for me?

OP posts: