If you could have the man being pregnant, would you?

[CrotchBurn]

Imagine a far future where you could choose whether you wanted to be the one to be pregnant, give birth, nurse the child etc., or whether the male partner would do all that, which would you choose?

YABU = I would still do it
YANBU = I would have the man do it

Asking because I think the fear of being pregnant and going through labour is probably the biggest reason why I dont want children/am dragging my feet and if I were a man I think I would already have them by now.

Imagine the whinging!!

[quote CrotchBurn]@Mamadothehump
How could you love giving birth?!
I'm not challenging you but asking you to explain if you dont mind because I cant imagine that!

I can see how being pregnant could feel positive - am imagining a sense of fullness and curiosity for some women. But actually giving birth?[/quote]
Erm, I just did! Coped with pain fine and completely got into a zone! The birth itself seemed like an actual mini miracle and made me the happiest person on earth at that moment in time. Just magical each time but I know I'm one of the lucky/weird ones 🤣

I loved giving birth. It was empowering and amazing and I felt like a fucking unstoppable warrior goddess afterwards.

Best I've ever felt in my life. No pain relief, no tearing.

@Deereamer

Imagine the whinging!!

Lots of these cheap shitty “jokes”

Typical for here, and somehow totally acceptable

I loved being pregnant 🤷‍♀️ sure I was morning sicky for a month but I lived the feeling of sharing my body with someone, especially when he started tickling my ribs with his toes in the middle of a boring meeting.

I would keep the pregnancy but then transfer it to him for the birth stage because that is the worse part for me.

It's an experience I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on but now that I've done it I'd happily let DH have a go!

No way! I loved every minute (apart from the puking).

No I would imagine the moaning would be too much. I also loved being pregnant and feeling the baby move.

I had SPD in both pregnancies and it was a factor in limiting our family to 2 children. I still wouldn't delegate it...I'd rather not have more, than someone else do the physical element. I know there is a lot more to the parent bond than giving birth and nursing but I do feel that that part deeply connected me to my children in a very primal way.

Absolutely, because there would be so many advances made in medicine and “wimmins problems” would be taken seriously.

The whinging would be tough, but yes.

No. I loved being pregnant and wouldn't ever not experience that miracle for anyone.

I’m a bit of a control freak, so I think I’d want to do it. My husband is very chill and has a higher pain threshold than me, so he’d be great at it: I think he’d prefer me to do it though as he defers to me on the ‘big’ stuff so I don’t think he would like the pressure.

Hmmmm, interesting question. I wouldn't mind the whole pregnancy and birth thing again - although much too old now- but would really rather NOT have had the complete physical collapse ( hideous stretch marks, increase in weight, crunchy nipples, horrible porridge tummy...)
However. I have done the whole thing, plentiful times, and survived. I can't begin to imagine how my husband would have coped with such changes. I think, possibly, he would have found it terribly hard too.

I wonder what proportion of men would rather have no children than get pregnant themselves. I suspect the proportion is fairly high, and the idea that their would be a choice just because it was technically possible is wrong.

Although, thinking about it, I can imagine competitive men doing it and trying to outdo each other at how well they are doing it, just for the boasting rights.

I loved everything about pregnancy, I have never felt so amazing before or since. No way would I swap!

@SachaStark

If men had the option of choosing to give birth, it would likely lead to many improvements for both sexes in terms of pain management, trauma, and postnatal care, to be honest.

Because there’s no way male pain would be ignored as much as female pain has historically been.

This.

I genuinely couldn't deal with DH moaning for 9 months about pregnancy and then indefinitely afterwards about labour.

DH could carry the baby for 9 months put up with blood thinning injections every day into the tummy, strict diet due to having geastional diabetes and terrible sickness throughout and I'd happily do the labour part again.

There were some aspects I liked - it was lovely feeling the baby kicking inside, for instance. And yes much of the second trimester isn’t too bad. The feeling of a bond growing with the baby is lovely too.

However, I think if I had the choice of not having to go through it all, I would. The idea of being handed a baby nine months after sex, when you’re not hormonal, not exhausted and feeling in some way alive
and ready to go really is appealing!

And if someone else was bfing and doing all the night feeds that would be ace too!

Another thing to consider is that, if your partner carries the child, then it is his choice whether or not to continue with the pregnancy. Not sure I'd be up for that.

@Porcupineintherough

Another thing to consider is that, if your partner carries the child, then it is his choice whether or not to continue with the pregnancy. Not sure I'd be up for that.

But it has to be like that, surely? It'd be his body, same as if it were a woman.

Of course it has to be the same. But it would affect my choice about whether to share pregnancy.