To find this a bit fishy?

[MrsToothyBitch]

I know this is a minor gripe, but the principle of it is bugging me and I feel awful for doubting my mum. Sorry it's a bit long.

I asked for a particular bedding set for Christmas from my parents and not much else. I've loved it for ages but there's always something more practical or sensible I need for the house, so I can never justify getting it. I checked parents were happy to spend that much on 1 set of double bedding and 1 extra pair of pillowcases. They were. I did the online order on mum's iPad with her details- she asked me to. I am 99% sure I included the extra pair of the pillowcases. I remember checking it was ok with my parents. The set is also a tricky colour to match so it was easier to buy 4 from the same place. The brand only recently started selling pillow cases separately to the duvet cover, too- another reason I'd not bought them previously. I remember saying that.

It arrived no problem, I was thrilled to open bedding on xmas day plus a fitted sheet to go with it, that I'd not expected but had planned to get myself. I was also busy with helping to keep the show on the road so busy and preoccupied and didn't linger over my gifts.

Anyway, it's sheet change tomorrow, and I felt a little niggle, so I've just checked and I only have 2 pillowcases for my new bedding I've been v excited to use. I've asked my mum to check and she found the paper receipt just listing the 1 set of double bedding. I asked for the original email receipt since I'm sure I ordered extra pillow cases. The email receipt cannot be found anywhere in her inbox or in deleted emails. She usually keeps EVERYTHING and is fairly computer literate, I just did the ordering since she was busy. She's immediately suggested I order more.

AIBU to find this fishy and to think she's rung up or emailed to cancel my extras? My mum also has form for being a bit wily or using "technicalities" to her favour when she thinks she'll get away with it so I don't completely trust her anymore. She also v quickly commented that "most people just have plain" on extra pillowcases. She definitely has the nerve to style this out, too. She's a cool customer.

I honestly don't mind paying for more myself especially since they got me a fitted sheet instead- I just wish they'd said so I could've sorted something out pre Christmas and pre being all excited to FINALLY use my lovely dream bedding. I just want to know if it was my mistake in the first place. The lack of the original email - where I can see if I made a cock up, is bothering me. Will email myself a copy next time. I don't want a fight and I hope I'm being U ...

Could she have thought you had made a mistake?

I may be wrong but I think most people just use plain pillowcases for the underneath pillows in a set of four. So she might have thought you'd ordered the extras by mistake and cancelled it for that reason.

I'd hate to get on the wrong side of you over something that actually mattered!

How old are you OP

It's not trivial.

Trust and feeling you're being manoeuvred are not trivial.

I'd probably get in touch with the sellers and ask if the original order was changed

Look, to have a good relationship with someone who is 'wily' and happy to lie and style it out, you have to be as hard as nails with a sense of humour too. And be willing to outwit them.

So I probably would contact the seller and if she has lied, tell her that you chased it up as you were so concerned that she'd been ripped off. 'But, I saw it was you who cancelled the pillowcases after all. That's fine... you could have said, you know. I don't bite! I do sniff things out, though... Don't do that again, Mum, or I'll just ask for a bottle of shampoo next time, ok?' And laugh.

If she didn't cancel it - then you know. All good.

How odd that your first thought would be that your mum would change the order.

Although if she's buying it's up to her & maybe she bught the fitted sheet instead?

I know an extra set of pillowcases are handy-but doesn't it all get washed at the same time?

Nothing I read here indicates that the OP is being ungrateful or spoilt.
She wants to check the original order because she hasn't received the order she placed, and doesn't know if she made an error or if her mother is gaslighting her -again.
I personally think that your mother is gaslighting you. She has decided that 4 fancy pillowcases is excessive, so cancelled two and bought you a sheet instead. If that's what she wanted to buy you, fine. You can easily buy two more pillowcases, but lying about it is weird. And changing the order from what you wanted to what she thinks you should have is controlling.

But why would she go to all the bother? I can understand if she placed the order and then thought it was a bit too expensive. But you say she also bought you a sheet and other expensive things so it’s not a money problem.
Surely it’s the firm making a mistake and sending a sheet instead of another pair of pillowcases? Probably an error in the Christmas rush or they had run out of pillowcases.
It’s so weird that you would think she had cancelled them.

Is this a joke

Maybe you made an error and ordered extra fitted sheet instead extra pillowcases.

[quote MrsToothyBitch]@EveryDayIsADuvetDay - the first two statements in the vile spew that passes for your post are not my words. The third is things my friends, colleagues and partner - have said based on seeing her with me/hearing things she said. The fourth I'll admit to. But it breaks my heart I've had to say it.[/quote]
First two statements?
copied and pasted from your post vile spew of 11:48:17

[quote MrsToothyBitch]@EveryDayIsADuvetDay - the first two statements in the vile spew that passes for your post are not my words. The third is things my friends, colleagues and partner - have said based on seeing her with me/hearing things she said. The fourth I'll admit to. But it breaks my heart I've had to say it.[/quote]
Hmm. They are your words. Look.

Why would your mum cancel pillow cases to save money (or any other reason) then purchase sheet as an extra?

Maybe the company sent sheet instead of pillow cases in error? Maybe pillow cases didn't arrive. Maybe the arrived and were misplaced?

Why does it matter? What exactly do you suspect your mum has done?

Say thank you, buy the pillow cases and move on.

Your mother changed the order because she thought the fitted sheet was better than the pillow cases.

I cannot believe I'm reading this about a set of pillow cases!

Dear god, what drama!

TBH if you feel the way you do, is probably just buy my own bedding. Drop the Christmas presents, if they really cause this much angst are they worth it? They're meant to be fun.

I'd probably get in touch with the sellers and ask if the original order was changed

And they'd tell you to bugger off as you're not the customer and they can't tell you anything

Wow. I'd say nothing. I'd be grateful for a nice gift tbh.

This isn't about the gift at all. It's a about the odd relationship you have with your mother

@Clymene- not about money as in, I don't think the cost of that particular item was an issue in itself. They were really - and unexpectedly- generous for Christmas. And I asked before hand if they were happy to order these items, I told them the price and they said yes.

I am going to order more and I will totally let it go - unless it's my mum who has been ripped off, of course, I wouldn't let that go. I did say in my OP that I hoped I was being/thought I was being U, it's just hard when it's really swirling in your mind and something doesn't sit right.

Writing a thread and seeing your replies (apart from one) has been cathartic, so thank you. It was just really niggling me. Thank you especially to people who've been able to see beyond the sheets and see that was bothering me was more the missing email- which I wanted to see if I'd made a mistake on- and the fact that there's a bit of a powerplay dynamic atm that were dogging me. I'm fairly certain it's my error if I'm honest, and I hope it's not wasted money... but I'd feel a bit blind by NOT checking and she's not computer illiterate. We've been relatively lucky this year and have passed that on to chosen charities and a food bank as well as each other, so please don't think I have not been grateful. I just hope those of you pearl clutching at me not trusting my mum never end up in a power play with a parent you love.

@Sally872

Why would your mum cancel pillow cases to save money (or any other reason) then purchase sheet as an extra?

Maybe the company sent sheet instead of pillow cases in error? Maybe pillow cases didn't arrive. Maybe the arrived and were misplaced?

Why does it matter? What exactly do you suspect your mum has done?

Say thank you, buy the pillow cases and move on.

This is exactly what I would have assumed, that there was a packaging error at the warehouse?

Now I want to know the brand!

Op, this will sound harsh but you honestly need a reality check.
Of all the threads on here, this is the most entitled and frankly pathetic thing I've ever read. You sound spoilt beyond compare. Put the bedding on with other cases - you only see the top two ffs. This is a non problem. Stop arguing over it. Stop making out your mother is some kind of master mind deviant because she bought what YOU asked for, and a sheet instead of some bloody pillow cases. Which Frankly is more practical. If this is causing genuine angst and suspicion, it genuinely sounds like you need counselling. It's absolutely not normal to be so worked up over a generous gift. If it's a genuine problem, get help. If not - get a grip. Grow up. Move on.

If you ever do something like this again. bcc yourself into the e-mail and then you'll have a record.

I'm not sure what benefit it would be to your mum to cancel a pair of pillowcases and add a sheet, but you know her better than I do.

I am going to order more and I will totally let it go - unless it's my mum who has been ripped off, of course, I wouldn't let that go.

So why is it even a question? If she is happy that she hasn’t been ripped off then it’s a non issue.
What did you think that was fishy though? All your talk about your mum being a liar and over powering leads to it seeming far more that your problem is with her not the company. They didn’t delete the emails.

I find it bizarre that you immediately jump to your mother must have cancelled your order. As I'm sure many people on here have done, I've often thought I'd ordered something to discover I've forgotten to put it in my basket or something.
It's easy enough to delete an email (and depending on your mail provider, deleted emails get periodically purged) or she may not even had had one.

I find it odd that you are so invested in the gift, but you didn't check the confirmation email and didn't check the order when it arrived. Maybe the extra pillowcases did arrive and were mistakenly thrown away with wrapping paper?

So many things that are more likely to have happened than your mum cancelling and re-ordering. And even if she had - she's still bought you a nice gift.

She usually keeps EVERYTHING and is fairly computer literate,

And also

.. but I'd feel a bit blind by NOT checking and she's not computer illiterate.

And you don't trust your mother to tell a straight story...

And @StanfordPines - I apologise, you're correct, hadn't kept up with my own posting. I really do apologise there. And to @EveryDayIsADuvetDay I truly did get lost in my own words- but on that point only.

@Bookworming - 99% of the time, presents are fun! Especially the giving- I really enjoying giving, especially to my parents. It's only bothered me this time because it feels like something doesn't add up!