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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit fishy?

313 replies

MrsToothyBitch · 30/12/2020 11:38

I know this is a minor gripe, but the principle of it is bugging me and I feel awful for doubting my mum. Sorry it's a bit long.

I asked for a particular bedding set for Christmas from my parents and not much else. I've loved it for ages but there's always something more practical or sensible I need for the house, so I can never justify getting it. I checked parents were happy to spend that much on 1 set of double bedding and 1 extra pair of pillowcases. They were. I did the online order on mum's iPad with her details- she asked me to. I am 99% sure I included the extra pair of the pillowcases. I remember checking it was ok with my parents. The set is also a tricky colour to match so it was easier to buy 4 from the same place. The brand only recently started selling pillow cases separately to the duvet cover, too- another reason I'd not bought them previously. I remember saying that.

It arrived no problem, I was thrilled to open bedding on xmas day plus a fitted sheet to go with it, that I'd not expected but had planned to get myself. I was also busy with helping to keep the show on the road so busy and preoccupied and didn't linger over my gifts.

Anyway, it's sheet change tomorrow, and I felt a little niggle, so I've just checked and I only have 2 pillowcases for my new bedding I've been v excited to use. I've asked my mum to check and she found the paper receipt just listing the 1 set of double bedding. I asked for the original email receipt since I'm sure I ordered extra pillow cases. The email receipt cannot be found anywhere in her inbox or in deleted emails. She usually keeps EVERYTHING and is fairly computer literate, I just did the ordering since she was busy. She's immediately suggested I order more.

AIBU to find this fishy and to think she's rung up or emailed to cancel my extras? My mum also has form for being a bit wily or using "technicalities" to her favour when she thinks she'll get away with it so I don't completely trust her anymore. She also v quickly commented that "most people just have plain" on extra pillowcases. She definitely has the nerve to style this out, too. She's a cool customer.

I honestly don't mind paying for more myself especially since they got me a fitted sheet instead- I just wish they'd said so I could've sorted something out pre Christmas and pre being all excited to FINALLY use my lovely dream bedding. I just want to know if it was my mistake in the first place. The lack of the original email - where I can see if I made a cock up, is bothering me. Will email myself a copy next time. I don't want a fight and I hope I'm being U ...

OP posts:
Shewhomustbeobeyed1 · 31/12/2020 23:51

Yep I think you’ll find that this is a first world problem and YABU

Charlie63849 · 31/12/2020 23:52

AIBU to find this fishy and to think she's rung up or emailed to cancel my extras?

You asked, they said yes and then got you a extra sheet. You sound a right weirdo questioning it all.

riceuten · 01/01/2021 00:13

Yes, she's lying. She could log into the account she's set up and download the order. She doesn't want to do this. In situations like this, I am tempted to let the other person know one way or another that I have sussed them out...but then let it go.

Timeforredwine · 01/01/2021 00:41

I think same as poster upthread you possibly ordered x2 pillowcases but they were individual and should have ordered 4 sets, I have also done this myself! Cant imagine your mum woujd go to trouble deleting etc.

Lastfreakinglegs · 01/01/2021 00:50

Be grateful you got the present I'd say.

Localocal · 01/01/2021 00:58

Are you sure the pillow cases aren't on the way? Maybe they are out of stock? If they just sent the duvet set in a first shipment it would be normal for the packing slip to only list what was in that parcel. I would quietly call the company and ask about the order. The packing slip should have the order number.

CherryPieface · 01/01/2021 01:51

Oh my god.

What have I read?

JovialNickname · 01/01/2021 01:55

Yes, you're right, your mum's a bitch. And a liar. And devious. She doesn't deserve to be allowed to live, really.

HTH

Celestine70 · 01/01/2021 06:59

I want a photo of this amazing bedding. I feel you are a micro-manager.

Yorkshiretolondon · 01/01/2021 08:53

Oh dear lord... just buy more .... why would you even ask about this? Seems like you want to fall out with your mum....

Tzimi · 01/01/2021 09:28

@MrsToothyBitch It sounds like an error to me, maybe the seller missed the extra part to the order? I'd get in touch with them & see if the extra item was ordered, whether it was cancelled, or what happened. Then maybe go ahead & order the extra pillow cases?

OscarWildesCat · 01/01/2021 10:17

YABU, it doesn’t matter. You sound overly invested in bedding!. Say thank you and move on.

dayswithaY · 01/01/2021 10:44

How nice for you that this is bothering you so much. Have you tried watching the news?

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/01/2021 10:47

Oh dear lord... just buy more .... why would you even ask about this? Seems like you want to fall out with your mum

Do people do this?

You think you have ordered something but it hasn’t arrived.
Do you just go and buy more and not check what has been charged for?

browneyes77 · 01/01/2021 11:59

It seems odd that she would go to the trouble of cancelling just those two pillowcases. Were they super expensive? If they were maybe things were a bit tight and she didn't want to be embarrassed by telling you she couldn't quite afford it all.

I would simply tell her you wanted to find the details so you could see if it was your error or if it was the stores error - because if its their error then she would be due a refund on the missing items, or they would need to send the missing items out.

And then leave it at that. If it was a store error, its your mom who's out of pocket. If she doesn't seem too bothered about the fact she could be out of pocket, then that could raise an eyebrow.

If you don't trust her anyway, then finding out she may have cancelled a couple of pillow cases isn't really going to change that.

oohmamama · 01/01/2021 12:18

It was this one wasn't it OP?

To find this a bit fishy?
Sinful8 · 01/01/2021 12:38

@MrsToothyBitch

I know this is a minor gripe, but the principle of it is bugging me and I feel awful for doubting my mum. Sorry it's a bit long.

I asked for a particular bedding set for Christmas from my parents and not much else. I've loved it for ages but there's always something more practical or sensible I need for the house, so I can never justify getting it. I checked parents were happy to spend that much on 1 set of double bedding and 1 extra pair of pillowcases. They were. I did the online order on mum's iPad with her details- she asked me to. I am 99% sure I included the extra pair of the pillowcases. I remember checking it was ok with my parents. The set is also a tricky colour to match so it was easier to buy 4 from the same place. The brand only recently started selling pillow cases separately to the duvet cover, too- another reason I'd not bought them previously. I remember saying that.

It arrived no problem, I was thrilled to open bedding on xmas day plus a fitted sheet to go with it, that I'd not expected but had planned to get myself. I was also busy with helping to keep the show on the road so busy and preoccupied and didn't linger over my gifts.

Anyway, it's sheet change tomorrow, and I felt a little niggle, so I've just checked and I only have 2 pillowcases for my new bedding I've been v excited to use. I've asked my mum to check and she found the paper receipt just listing the 1 set of double bedding. I asked for the original email receipt since I'm sure I ordered extra pillow cases. The email receipt cannot be found anywhere in her inbox or in deleted emails. She usually keeps EVERYTHING and is fairly computer literate, I just did the ordering since she was busy. She's immediately suggested I order more.

AIBU to find this fishy and to think she's rung up or emailed to cancel my extras? My mum also has form for being a bit wily or using "technicalities" to her favour when she thinks she'll get away with it so I don't completely trust her anymore. She also v quickly commented that "most people just have plain" on extra pillowcases. She definitely has the nerve to style this out, too. She's a cool customer.

I honestly don't mind paying for more myself especially since they got me a fitted sheet instead- I just wish they'd said so I could've sorted something out pre Christmas and pre being all excited to FINALLY use my lovely dream bedding. I just want to know if it was my mistake in the first place. The lack of the original email - where I can see if I made a cock up, is bothering me. Will email myself a copy next time. I don't want a fight and I hope I'm being U ...

So you're not wondering where the extra sheet came from but the missing pillows?

Did you maybe order the wrong thing.

Also 4 machine pillows is a sin, top and bottom pairs!

Sinful8 · 01/01/2021 12:40

@Celestine70

I want a photo of this amazing bedding. I feel you are a micro-manager.
Try jasmine silk. A silk filled duvet is the best thing ever, hugs you so close yet so light.

The pillow cases are great for hair too

Fatladyslim · 01/01/2021 12:47

I'm really sorry but you just sound tedious! If my friend was sitting telling me this story I would tell them to just order the pillowcases if they were that important.

Or just, you know, not be so fucking precious!

Cannotcope4223 · 01/01/2021 13:04

Haven’t RTFT OP but I understand where you’re coming from here. Not everyone has parents where there’s subtle issues like this that reresent larger, more troubling problems.

If it were me? I’d want to get to the bottom of it as a matter of principle. As you’ve already said, its not about the money, its not the first time this has happened and she’s fibbing to get her way. Fuck that. I wouldn’t behave in that manner so it would perlex and annoy me that someone else did. Its shit to have parents that aren’t straight forward xx hugs

FlynnD · 01/01/2021 14:02

I think most of you are missing her point

Wheresmykimchi · 01/01/2021 14:04

@FlynnD

I think most of you are missing her point
I agree
SallyB392 · 01/01/2021 14:50

All I can say is that in my opinion you are behaving like a spoilt brat. Firstly it could be that the mistake is yours, secondly, perhaps your mum did cancel that one item because it was comparatively expensive, if she did I'm not surprised that she hasn't said anything. How many things would you accuse her of?

You need to look at the way you think & behave. Do you by chance have any personality disorders?

BBOA · 01/01/2021 15:04

Jeez...Pillow cases?! 900 + deaths per day due to Covid but missing pillowcases rule the day. Dont be ungrateful, you are lucky if that's all you have to worry about. I guess they must be fancy ones to make such a drama. I think I'll go back to watching paint dry.....

ExhaustedFlamingo · 01/01/2021 15:12

I have a complicated parent relationship - yet I still cannot even begin to fathom the audacity of demanding to know if she cancelled the pillowcases or not. You cannot blame your brattish behaviour on your difficult mother. You’ve already said she bought you other, unexpected things which were more expensive. And that you can afford the buy the EXTRA pillowcases yourself.

This isn’t how gift-giving works. You don’t get to demand they buy you all the extras and launch an investigation if you don’t get everything you want. You said you’re “not willing to write it off”. It’s a fucking gift 😳😳😳 I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better embodiment of self-entitlement. Honestly gobsmacked that anyone would think you’re in the right.

You raised it with her, she denies all knowledge. That’s where you stop. Accept the situation or if you’re as direct as you claim, just ask her outright if she took them off after. If she denies it, then you accept her answer even if you don’t believe it. Why? Because it’s a gift!!!!! She can do what she wants and she doesn’t owe you a forensic explanation.

Your behaviour is incredibly ill-mannered and ungrateful, and you sound like extremely hard work.

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