To get a refund for these presents

[ToniTheDonkey]

My OH told me he was going to spend Xmas Day at my house and told me what he wanted to eat. I spent £170 on food including meat (for him - I’m veggie) and alcohol (I’m teetotal). He turned up at 1.30 on Christmas Day empty handed and has not yet offered any money towards the cost of the food.

After dinner he opened his presents - I’d spent about £300 on him. There were a couple of presents he said he didn’t like. He could have been polite and not said anything. Knowing my OH, when he packs his stuff to go home, he’ll leave behind the presents he didn’t like. WIBU to take those presents back for a refund and keep the money to offset the cost of the Xmas food?

Wow that supermarket pizza guy is sounding more attractive by the minute.

Can you take/hide as much of the stuff you bought for him before he goes? And obviously you'll be dumping him asap?

Wait for him to leave. Keep the presents and return. Text him and tell him that's enough.

Please just gather up the gifts, all of them, and return them. Then tell him to GTFO of your house.

This selfish man needs to go.

OP, do you think you really might have spent so much in an attempt to buy his appreciation?

Op, is your BI polar being treated?

I think taking this from this man and trying to please him like this is a symptom of your low self esteem. If you had a healthy self esteem you’d have chucked him out by now.

You need to end this relationship. It’s not healthy.

My OH told me he was going to spend Xmas Day at my house and told me what he wanted to eat.
This is the obvious problem. Who does he think he is? Did he mistake your house for a restaurant and you for a short order cook?
And more importantly, why do you let yourself be 'told' stuff like this?
I mean, obviously he's a wanker. But you don't have to enable him.

Yes return all the gifts.

Shame you can't get a refund for OH. You can get rid though....

Sweet fucking Jesus 😣

YANBU. Get rid he sounds like one of my ex's. It will only get worse

Don't ask him for money now. Just dump him and tell him why.

Take the gifts back, change your locks and end this god-awful 'relationship' with this god-awful man.

Op, I need to know what the presents were.
There is no way on earth I'd stay with someone who got me nothing!

I'd get a refund on every one of his presents and tell him to go home. His Christmas food was enough of a present. Please don't carry on seeing this man, OP, he's no good for your mental health.

Return the presents and dump the arsehole

What a fucking liberty!! I can’t believe he turned up at your home empty handed! He’s been there for a few days now. Have you not discussed anything with him about arriving at your home with zero? I mean he drinks and you don’t and he doesn’t even bring any sort of contribution!

He’s a wasteman, take back your presents, get your money back and tell him to do one!

Honey, he's a waste of space and doesn't deserve the Christmas you gave him and certainly doesn't deserve your love.

The best Christmas present you can give yourself would be to dump him on his sorry arse.

Yeah, you're totally overspending, that's excessive and he sounds like a massive using dickhead.

OP, you are being taken for a ride here. He doesn't sound like he cares about you at all - please don't keep putting up with this terrible freeloading and disrespect. You deserve so much better.

You say you've been with him a year and a half. That sounds like more than long enough.

Why are you looking for supermarket receipts? That shouldn't be your priority right now, the moment is spent and the food is likely beaten so there is nothing you can do about that now.

You can get rid of your partner though, those are the questions you should be answering, what did he say when he received gifts but turned up empty handed, did you ask him about your gifts? I would ask for them back, return them all and then dump his sorry backside

The only thing you should have got him is a "You're dumped" text.

OP, it’s time to reevaluate this relationship entirely. This man is exploiting your mental illness for his own gain. I hope you haven’t also ‘loaned” him money, etc. Or got into debt to buy all this stuff.

If you were outside this situation and instead were watching your best friend’s or your sister’s relationship, would you be concerned for them? I’m sorry to say that he seems to be taking advantage of your known over-generosity to feather his nest, knowing he doesn’t have to do anything in return, and you won’t dump him.

You need to prove him wrong as of today. The time to tackle the money for the food was when he gave you his shopping list (which was a massive red flag but I can see you might not be in a position to spot that right now), so you might have to consider that a sunk cost for your own sake. But you MUST stop him taking any further advantage of you.

Do you have anyone offering you support in real life? I think if you explained how things are to that person they’d be concerned for you and want to help you break free of this situation. Please talk to someone and be very open and honest.

Return them all!! Why are you with this awful man?

And please stop thinking of him as your other half. This is not an equal relationship at all.

I would ask if he would mind contributing £50 towards the christmas food and drink. I would return the presents he left behind and keep the refunds. Did he buy you a present?