To get a refund for these presents

[ToniTheDonkey]

My OH told me he was going to spend Xmas Day at my house and told me what he wanted to eat. I spent £170 on food including meat (for him - I’m veggie) and alcohol (I’m teetotal). He turned up at 1.30 on Christmas Day empty handed and has not yet offered any money towards the cost of the food.

After dinner he opened his presents - I’d spent about £300 on him. There were a couple of presents he said he didn’t like. He could have been polite and not said anything. Knowing my OH, when he packs his stuff to go home, he’ll leave behind the presents he didn’t like. WIBU to take those presents back for a refund and keep the money to offset the cost of the Xmas food?

He's using you.

He pays no money towards food or drink, no presents, no card nothing.

I bet he leeches off you other times too.

I bet he stays over alot and pays nothing towards rent.

Unfortunately we all date at least one scabby bastard like this, please come to realise that he is not worth having in your life.

What was his excuse for not bringing you any gifts?

so he didnt get you anything for xmas?

why do women put up with this, they only do it because they get away with it.

Why on earth are you still seeing this selfish idiot? You deserve better.

So yes, take his presents and get your money back. And if he ever invites himself for Christmas (or any other event) again - give him a list of what to bring. Or just dump him now.

@kowari veg isn’t about £1 total. Christmas lunch is always expensive, let’s not trivialise this.
Yes he didn’t make her overspend, but he didn’t offer to contribute either. A lack of communication that suited him.

Return the gifts for refund and ditch the boyfriend

Yes take the items back. Doesn't sound like he'd notice!!

You sound like a generous person OP -- but he is not like that.
He may have other merits to keep him in your life -- only you can decide about that.

Main thing is that you being generous to him has not brought you joy & won't engage him. You need to find other ways to enjoy his company.

@ToniTheDonkey
Love, you need to demand more respect for yourself

He needs to go. He’s not your friend let alone a boyfriend or much less a partner or other fucking half.

Gather the presents you got him up now, put them in a cupboard and then go and tell him that he needs to go home and that you won’t be continuing in this relationship

If OP bought decent alcohol and decent meat for him to eat there's no way he didn't realise it was going to be expensive Christmas food always is. Even if he was just popping in for a weekend and it wasn't Christmas why wouldn't he bring his own booze and something for OP? Bet the lazy dickhead did nothing to help with cooking and cleaning either!

@kowari veg isn’t about £1 total.
Carrots and parsnips were 19p each at Tesco, cauliflower 29p, that's 67p, don't remember what potatoes and Brussel sprouts were as I don't buy them, but they were very cheap. You could have got the lot for less than £2.

Why did he not get you a gift? Did you not mention it? What happened last Christmas?
He sounds rude and selfish.

You're giving him too much. He's just taking advantage of your purse.

@kowari yes if you choose to purchase everything from scratch and prepare plus the cost of honey for carrots, herbs, goose fat etc.
Alternatively get it prepared from M&S and it’s easily £25.

The question you should be asking is:

Why do I have such low self esteem that I am willing to put up with someone who treats me this poorly.

I just don't know how he had the gaul to turn up with no gifts at all! Who does that?!

Throw the whole man away

Yes, what happened last Christmas? I can't believe he has just become a prick overnight, surely he's displayed this selfishness before? Although this begs the question, why is he still an oh! I bet he's only staying until the food runs out!

You're a doormat sorry to say. Dump him. He's not your 'other half'. He's just a boyfriend that's not that interested

[quote kowari]**@kowari veg isn’t about £1 total.
Carrots and parsnips were 19p each at Tesco, cauliflower 29p, that's 67p, don't remember what potatoes and Brussel sprouts were as I don't buy them, but they were very cheap. You could have got the lot for less than £2.[/quote]
When you say 'each' I presume you don't mean per parsnip or carrot, as one each between two does seem a bit Oliver Twist. So do you mean per packet? Per kilo?

Thing is, the OP could have bought cheaper food. But if she can afford to and wants to, why not spend a little bit more at Christmas? Plus you're usually catering for a few days, not just one meal. It's not purely about the cost - it's about his stinginess and lack of contribution. It's just incredibly rude to turn up at someone's house for Christmas and not bring something. And if you're stony broke, at least have an honest conversation beforehand about expectations. 'I'm really broke, so please don't go overboard. I'll pitch in and help with cooking etc., but I can't afford to bring much' would do it.

[quote Thedarknightsaredrawingin]@kowari yes if you choose to purchase everything from scratch and prepare plus the cost of honey for carrots, herbs, goose fat etc.
Alternatively get it prepared from M&S and it’s easily £25.[/quote]
Which is why the budget should have been agreed upon beforehand. You can't just expect someone to hand over over £50 for just three days worth of food!

When you say 'each' I presume you don't mean per parsnip or carrot, as one each between two does seem a bit Oliver Twist. So do you mean per packet? Per kilo? The Christmas specials were for 1kg carrots, 500g parsnips or Brussel sprouts, a cauliflower, I think 2kg potatoes, plenty for only two people!

My god, some posters are worse than the boyfriend, arguing over the price of carrots

Ffs!

Why did you let him tell you whether to do?? Why spend so much on him? What did he get you? Don't you communicate with him? Couldn't you have said what you wanted to do for Christmas Day? It's not much of a relationship if you can't do that.

I reckon I would return them all!

New year is a perfect time to be free of this sponger..
Actually today would be better.