Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Do you have a favourite child?

211 replies

Shockat · 27/12/2020 18:43

I have a boy and girl. They are mostly opposites. I much prefer my son's personality. They're adults btw.

OP posts:

Badwill · 27/12/2020 23:28

I do if I'm being really honest. I hate that I do though, I work every day to change it but the truth is I didn't -simply couldn't -understand how anyone enjoyed being a parent until I had my second child

My first child, while she had so many good qualities, has just been a "difficult" personality from the start and she literally drains the life out of me. I love her dearly but I know my life would be exponentially easier if I just had her younger sister. I despair about the situation regularly and my biggest fear is she'll know, so I tend to over compensate which has its own repercussions on both DC. I wish I knew how to change it??

Feelinglow8736 · 28/12/2020 00:09

I get accused of this on a daily basis but i really dont have a favourite!

onetwothreeadventure · 28/12/2020 00:22

Two of mine are still toddlers so it varies every 15 minutes and who is being the least unreasonable! Longer term no, I have the same feelings towards each of them.

I’ve never got the sense my DM has a favourite either and she has very different relationships with each of us.

FrenchBoule · 28/12/2020 00:38

No.
2 kids,younger has ASD
Both lovely and cuddly with some mood swings.
Love them both but for who they are.

Rosebel · 28/12/2020 00:43

I did when I only had two and they were little but as they've got older and I've had another baby I don't anymore
Eldest is easiest at the moment unless she's having a teenage strop. Middle one has autism and can be really challenging but also incredibly loving and cuddly. Youngest is just a baby and he's just a cutie (at the moment).
On reflection the cat is actually the easiest and pretty cuddly too so best of both worlds.

HeyBaby2020 · 28/12/2020 00:44

Yes but not my own! I am a TA in a school and have a favourite child 😉

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 28/12/2020 00:51

I have an 11 year old catfish and am honest with all my children that he is my favourite

On a more serious note. Each of my kids including the large adult ones are my favourite for different reasons.

Equally sometimes they can be my least favourite for different reasons.

ellenleaves · 28/12/2020 00:57

No, I don't have a favourite and I don't love either more than the other, I adore them both, however, one is easier to like as she's a total delight all the time (to us and others - friendly, happy, kind and easy going). My other is harder work behaviour wise but very bright, focused, talented and amazes me every day with her abilities and she will go far in life. Equally (very) proud of them both.

StillMedusa · 28/12/2020 01:05

I have four ..now adults, and I love them all very deeply. But theri personalities are all totally different so I conenct with them in different ways.
My girls are strong independent incredible women.. I am in awe of them. One I couldn't live with easily (tricky child, incredible but quirky adult) one I am currently living with.. easier in most ways. Both are perfect but very different.
My boys.. more 'need their Mum' One is autistic and has a different understanding of the world so in some ways I'm not as close in a convential waybecause he is very different.. but loving and adored. The other ... has gone to Australia to be with his fiance and I miss him so fiercely it hurts.. the one who played me his music ( singer songwriter late at night, the one who picked me up for hugs and told me 'night mum, love you' every bed time. I miss him because he's 9000 miles from home and can't come back currently.
But favourite.. no... they are all my beloved children.

My actual favourite is the dog....

SoNotRainbowRhythms · 28/12/2020 01:32

Looking forward to reading your DC's posts in Stately Homes.

Stompythedinosaur · 28/12/2020 01:53

I am happy that I don't.

minipie · 28/12/2020 02:01

No. One of my children is more difficult, but funnily enough that makes me feel closer to her.

The cat is definitely the easiest!

ItisRainingAgain · 28/12/2020 02:50

Yes, whichever one brings me chocolate

NiceGerbil · 28/12/2020 03:04

No of course not.

They are very different but I love them both so much.

I make an effort to get everyone everyone involved and that they get the same amount of love and cuddles and showing interest.

My mum lost interest in me when my brother was born. I was told this at 40 and it explained a lot

How can anyone love one child and not the other? And show it?

I'm nearly 50 and still trying to come to terms with it.

I'm fucked if I'm doing that with my kids, yes one is more like me and the other not. So I make an effort.

Casschops · 28/12/2020 03:08

I only have one so it doesn't count.

Casschops · 28/12/2020 03:16

My friend prefers her 2nd son to her 1st. They are 4 years old and 8 months old. Her partner prefers their oldest son so it evens out. I love them both they are beautiful boys.

Pyewhacket · 28/12/2020 03:33

No, but we very nearly lost our youngest daughter when she was a baby and the experience affected my husband deeply , in fact I’d say it traumatised him. Ever since he’s been especially close to her and nothing is ever too much trouble. It’s become a family joke but I know he’d walk through the fires of hell for any of them. Fathers and daughters ! .

Gremlinsateit · 28/12/2020 03:54

I do have a favourite - one is easier to get along with, more affectionate, more considerate. The other is more difficult to get along with but I put in extra effort because that one needs it - because I love them both.

There were 3 in my family - my Mum was closest to the oldest and my Dad was closest to the middle. I was the youngest and wasn't the favourite of either but they both loved me very much and I was very secure in their love - so it isn’t always a traumatic thing.

Cowgran · 28/12/2020 03:57

I clash more with and worry more about my eldest but I don't love her any less. She's quite highly strung compared to her sisters so is harder work at times, but I love her dearly.

MotherFeeder · 28/12/2020 12:59

My DH definitely and very obviously favours his DS over DD.

I keep pointing out it's wrong to do but then DS is easier to get along with and DD is constant hard work or causing problems.

WineNotTheLabel · 28/12/2020 13:12

People that have favourite children are arseholes. DC can always tell.

My DM had favourite DC and favourite DGC so did my DGM. She could see the behaviour, how damaging it was in other people, but not in herself. It was as damaging to the favourites because they were set apart by the relationship. That I have an amazing relationship with all of my siblings is a testament to one another.

pinkdinosaursarereal · 28/12/2020 13:23

I always say to each one don't tell your brother/ sister but your my favourite Or I say you're my favourite girl or my favourite boy ( I have one of each.)

My DS is my first and a lot older, so, but he worries me so much, had some issues but I adore him. My daughter is easier as she the second child and younger, although she has her moments . I love my daughter very much too. Tricky I can't tell yet, can I get back to you in a few years ?

My brother is certainly the favourite and babied by my parents. He is a prize twat and very selfish. I don't really get why people like him, but maybe that's me being bitter/ jealous ?

WetSausageRoll · 28/12/2020 13:56

Yes my daughter is my favourite child I imagine if you have more than one you probably will have a favourite at any given time, depending on who is doing what.

MistletoeandGin · 28/12/2020 13:58

I have three and have never had a favourite. I can’t imagine it to be honest!

formerbabe · 28/12/2020 14:02

Whilst I love them equally...I probably enjoy being a mother to my dd more. We have lots in common and to be honest, she's very compliant and easy to parent. She has her moments but if you ask her to do something, she generally just does it. Every single request made to my ds is met with defiance and debate.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Swipe left for the next trending thread