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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you have a favourite child?

211 replies

Shockat · 27/12/2020 18:43

I have a boy and girl. They are mostly opposites. I much prefer my son's personality. They're adults btw.

OP posts:
Anotheruser02 · 27/12/2020 20:19

My Mum prefers her Sons, my brother who she thinks is amazing is a horrible bully, he negs and belittles people he is very dismissive of women (other than my mum) she doesn't see it, she would probably say she prefers his (faux only for her) personality.

Babyroobs · 27/12/2020 20:19

I have 4. One is definately a lot more amiable and easier to get on with, one our personalities seem to clash as we are both fiery, one is so quiet and says so little that to be honest it's hard what his true personality is.

Fluffycloudland77 · 27/12/2020 20:21

Surely the pets are the favourites in any family?.

INeedADayOff · 27/12/2020 20:21

I have a boy & girl...I have a favourite boy...I have a favourite girl

Solves the problem Grin

my son is easier to get on with more laid back and chilled out, my daughter is a lot more of a massive pain in the arse demanding and emotional. Both polar opposites and neither of them are particularly like me or DH personality wise.

I alas also have a favourite cat (but don’t tell the other cats)

My parents have a favourite and it bugs the shit into me as their favourite does fuck all the help them, it’s me who does the running around.

cansu · 27/12/2020 20:22

One is easier and has caused me much less heartache and until relatively recently I always thought I had bonded more with this child. However, when my eldest really needed me, I discovered that actually I felt exactly the same about both of them. They are equally important to me and I love them the same. One is just easier to be around.

formerbabe · 27/12/2020 20:23

I love my dc equally but I find parenting my dd easier. She is much more similar to me...we have more in common in terms of interests..she remind me of me when I was a child. She likes reading, baking, shopping, crafts, she's a home body. My ds is a typical lad, football, xbox etc. Although I will say me and him have a very similar sense of humour which we bond over.

rhowton · 27/12/2020 20:24

My favourite child changes daily! Today it was my youngest. My eldest was such a twat today.

surelynotnever · 27/12/2020 20:26

@Lalliella

No, but DD always jokes that DS is our favourite, so we call him Favourite Child to wind her up!
Are you sure she's joking?
Vates · 27/12/2020 20:27

A more amusing thing would have been my Sister used to arrive at my Mum's and look in her cupboards for food she fancied eating, literally just open the cupbaords. I used to always ask, lol; i.e. Mum, can I make a sandwich?

But my Sister actually reminds of my Mum these days. She's a good Mum and so much softer than she was in her youth. I have a 3 year old Nephew and another niece or nephew on the way!

Umbongi · 27/12/2020 20:27

The dog. 1000%.

Tallpaulwho · 27/12/2020 20:27

My parents did a good job with me and my siblings, we all felt loved equally, so it was a shock when I got to know my in laws. They have a strong and very obvious favourite, and it's not my DH. It's infuriated me so many times at how callous and obvious they are about it.

Mummadeeze · 27/12/2020 20:28

Being the non favoured child f*cked me up completely. After I had my first child I went to get sterilised. That is how important it felt to me to ensure she didn’t go through what I went through. I hate hearing people have favourites. Maybe it is true deep down in your psyche, but I don’t think you should ever own it or accept it. If you relate more to one, try harder to understand the other. I think it is your moral responsibility as a parent.

Vates · 27/12/2020 20:30

Fluffycloudland77 !!! I adore my Sister's dogs more than any human. I know I shouldn't admit it but the best times in my life have been chilling with them in front of the tv. They greet me like I am a film star, lol.

Lookslikerainted · 27/12/2020 20:31

Cruel

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/12/2020 20:33

One of mine is harder to get along with but I don't love him less than the other. All different, all fab. I'm not my parents favourite and neither is my husband the favourite in his family.

CanICelebrate · 27/12/2020 20:39

I have 3 dc and I genuinely don’t have a favourite, although they are all my favourites in different ways!!
DS2 is the most kind and affectionate and we are particularly close, but DS3 is definitely special because he’s ‘the baby’ and DS1 will always be my PFB!

CanICelebrate · 27/12/2020 20:39

On many days I do prefer the dog though 🤣

Bojheybuddy · 27/12/2020 20:41

Whichever one has slept through the night before Grin

Gemma2019 · 27/12/2020 20:42

Yes - 12 year old DD2

Aubergina · 27/12/2020 20:43

DC1 is my favourite, but that's probably only because DC2 is only 3 months old, so I don't feel like I really know her yet...

Can anyone else relate or is that weird?

ChristmasAlone · 27/12/2020 20:44

I think having a favourite and loving equally are two very different things

Lovemusic33 · 27/12/2020 20:49

No, I detest them equally 😬

They are both very different, both can be annoying but are both amazing.

astuz · 27/12/2020 20:49

I love both my DDs to bits, but my younger DD is just so funny. It's like having our own personal stand up comedy show every evening at the dinner table.

It's the same for them at school - older DD has to work really hard to have friends and is often on the sidelines of friendship groups, and she is definitely not popular, whereas younger DD is really popular and everyone wants her to be their friend.

I always think it's such a shame for my older DD because she really is a lovely person, but just doesn't have that way of 'clicking' with people like my younger DD does.

Iwillneverbesatisfied · 27/12/2020 20:49

MIL definitely does and its not DH

I'm my mum's because my DSis was/is difficult and now she lives abroad its easier and my DM agrees with that. She's DFs favourite though - they are similar in a lot of ways.

IdblowJonSnow · 27/12/2020 20:50

Hmm. I find my youngest sometimes easier to be around. She's more cuddly and still cute. My older one can be really moody, downright scathing and unaffectionate. So yes, I guess superficially I have a favourite some days. But in the long run, no. And I love them the same.
I am not my parents favourite but don't especially mind.