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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you have a favourite child?

211 replies

Shockat · 27/12/2020 18:43

I have a boy and girl. They are mostly opposites. I much prefer my son's personality. They're adults btw.

OP posts:
StrawberryFries · 27/12/2020 20:57

I don’t, I love them all in different ways though

DipSwimSwoosh · 27/12/2020 20:58

I used to. My dd was soooo difficult as a toddler. But now she is older and completely amazing. I have 3 and love them all the same and enjoy them all a lot, but they are very different.

BlindMedusa · 27/12/2020 21:01

@Fluffycloudland77

Surely the pets are the favourites in any family?.
Yes the dog is my favourite only one excited to see me when I come in from work, only one who misses me when I'm out, only one who comes for a cuddle ... joy of teenage humans eh
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/12/2020 21:01

Both my boys would say the other! But in reality, no, I don’t have a favourite. I do have a tendency to prefer hanging out with them each individually though, as they do tend to clash with each other.

booearing · 27/12/2020 21:02

I dislike them all equally.
But seriously i have 5 children i love them all equally.
I feel more protective of DS4 though he has had a lot to deal with since the day he was born and i worry about him the most.

Juanbablo · 27/12/2020 21:02

No. I love different things about them all but I wouldn't say I prefer one above the others.

Kanaloa · 27/12/2020 21:08

I don’t have a favourite but I worry more about my third child. He has extra needs and struggles more. He needs me more than my other three, sometimes I worry when they’re older they might look back and think he was the favourite.

Wroxie · 27/12/2020 21:15

I have one child who I enjoy talking to and spending time with and who, at the age of 22, feels in some ways more like a sister to me than a child. My love for her feels peaceful and calm. I have another child of 20 who gets on my tits about 90% of the time but for whom I feel love (and anger) more intensely.

The first could have probably raised herself - she's been self-sufficient, easy going, and responsible since she was a toddler. The second needed me more - I had to support her and fight her corner her whole life and even though she's become more stable in the last year, I still feel intense worry and protectiveness towards her.

I love them the same, but I love them in different ways, because they needed different kinds of love. They're both aware of it - we've discussed it in therapy 😂.

Oreservoir · 27/12/2020 21:18

My dm does and it’s not me!

I have two adult dc, different personalities, both amazing people and I love them equally.

severussnaperus · 27/12/2020 21:22

I have a 6 year old DS who is my entire world..

Currently pregnant and very nervous.. cannot imagine loving anyone like how I love DS 🙂

DramaAlpaca · 27/12/2020 21:30

I have three, all boys, now adult. I don't have a favourite. They are equally loved and all very wonderful in their different ways.

I once overheard the three of them arguing over which of them was my favourite. It was very funny because each of them was certain that they were the favourite and were doing their best to convince the others Grin

Love51 · 27/12/2020 22:24

@severussnaperus the love for each child isn't exactly the same because they are so different. My love for each child isn't hierarchical, I don't love one more than the other, but the love for each is slightly different. My love for dc1 multiplied when she started to care for dc2. (I don't mean in the 'young carer' sense, I mean in the 'he's crying I'm going to thrust my cuddly toy in his face' sense)

steff13 · 27/12/2020 22:26

No. I tell them I do, though. If one of them bothers me, I tell them they used to be my favorite but now they're not.

MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat · 27/12/2020 22:29

I sometimes worry that I do because difficult behaviour in kids comes in phases, doesn't it? So I'll have a few weeks of being on (for example) DD2's case all the time. Then, overnight, she'll stop doing the thing that pushes my buttons and I'll feel tetchy with DD1 for a while...

I love them all equally, but don't like them all equally all of the time.

TokyoSushi · 27/12/2020 22:31

Honestly no. But as pp have said, I do sometimes like one of them more at different times, this can change depending on the activity/their behaviour!

AriesTheRam · 27/12/2020 22:32

I've only got one.I have a db who gets on with dm better personality wise but she treats us equal,always has.

CallmeNessa · 27/12/2020 22:39

@Weirdlynormal

Each day.
This, absolutely! Same for the dogs! Grin
georgiams · 27/12/2020 22:46

My favourite changes daily 😂

ScatteredMama82 · 27/12/2020 22:53

No, but there are things about each of them that I love that is different from the other. I think my DH has a favourite though! I’d never point it out, I’m not sure he even realises but I see it.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 27/12/2020 22:58

The cats my fav. My kids regularly hear me telling the cat how much I love him.

AliTheMinx · 27/12/2020 22:59

I am an OC and just have one DC, but of my friends with more than one DC it's obvious that some (but not all) have very clear favourites. My mum hated having siblings, as her brother was always her mum's favourite. My DH has 3 siblings and he is clearly his mum's favourite too - which is often openly commented on at family gatherings. She never denies it - even in front of his siblings! It makes me really uncomfortable!

EagleFlight · 27/12/2020 22:59

I might prefer the company of one over the others on a particular day, especially if it is for something specific that we both enjoy and the others don’t. Otherwise they have lovely personalities and are great company so I really don’t have a favourite.

EagleFlight · 27/12/2020 23:00

And yes, like many others my cat is my favourite.

Letsrunabath · 27/12/2020 23:07

No favourite, although one gave us years of worry.

Whatisthepoint10 · 27/12/2020 23:18

I’m relieved to say I don’t! Boy and a girl too