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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not understand why dog owners let their dogs sleep with them in bed?

331 replies

firthy85 · 27/12/2020 18:14

to get things straight i am a pet lover and grew up with many different dog breeds. some with great personalities of their own and good company but they are pets at the end of the day right?. i never had any problem if a dog wanted to sleep in my bedroom but they had a dog's bed. surely encouraging a dog to sleep in your bed is setting the dog up for a fall? god forbid something ever happened to you as the owner and the dog had to be rehomed it could be a nightmare for the dog's new owner if they are strict about dog/human boundaries. so what do you think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
motleymop · 27/12/2020 19:34

Dogs are really uncomfortable bedfellows in my experience! No matter what breed, they always seem to position themselves in such a way as to make it impossible to get my legs straight. For this reason, I can only countenance a visit and not a sleepover.

thosetalesofunexpected · 27/12/2020 19:35

@NotExactlyHappyToHelp

😂😂😂
" Quite"

I worked at a popular budget hotel chain that allowed guests pets to stay with them if they wanted to.

(Sometimes whilst cleaning guest rooms, reeking,to high heavens,guest rooms, it was like GBH on my nostrils.

I found our 4 legged pet guests rooms far more refreshing experince to work in .

HeronLanyon · 27/12/2020 19:37

I don’t have a dog but if I did I have no doubt it would sleep on the bed.
I guess I should offer if anything unfortunate happens within the thread I could volunteer.

PandemicPalava · 27/12/2020 19:38

My dog picks where he sleeps. Sometimes his bed, floor, sofa, our bed... not dependent on us at all and I need him to be able to settle elsewhere as sometimes he is annoying and I kick him out. Nothing wrong with dogs sleeping in bed with people

CaraDuneRedux · 27/12/2020 19:41

Wriggly toddler put me off ever sharing my bed with anyone of any species again. DCat (now sadly deceased) used to occasionally get away with it, but she was the perfect bed companion - simply curled up in the small of my back (not on feet - can't bear anything on my feet) and fell asleep without moving.

DDog might be okay - but I didn't want to chance it during the puppy wee-in-the-night early days, and DDog is now used to the crate, I think. (I did spend several weeks on the sofa so she wasn't alone, and even now if she's unsettled, I will do this if she can't sleep).

DDog is allowed on the sofa, though - she is currently snoozing on my feet which is very pleasantly warm (feet are okay when I'm awake - it's when I'm trying to sleep that I can't bear it... hey, who said people have to be consistent in their feet-warming preferences?)

I read some threads on here and wonder why some women let their bloke sleep in their bed tbh.

And this is spot on!

m0therofdragons · 27/12/2020 19:41

Previously had cats and it was impossible not to let them on the bed as they would wreck the carpet but dogs can be trained. I love the fact that ddog stays downstairs so I don’t have his mess and fur upstairs and my bed is mine. After the cats died this year, dh and I commented that we actually hadn’t had an un disturbed night of sleep for more than a year until that point due to cat who slept on my chest and other cat with hyperthyroidism who’d wake and meow for no reason! Pets start downstairs now.

iswhois · 27/12/2020 19:42

YABU

We sleep with our two pugs (soon to be 3) every single night. Have a king size bed so it's very comfortable for everyone.

Dogs are never muddy and bathed once a week, bedding changed once a week and hoovered a few times throughout the week. Doesn't have to be disgusting if you aren't lazy about cleanliness.

No difference to snuggling up with them on the sofa- unless no one on here does that either?

TooOldforBouncyCastles · 27/12/2020 19:44

Both my dogs start the evening in beds adjacent to our bed. Early hours I stir a bit and the old boy puts his paws up next to me and I scoop him in. He’s too old and arthritic to climb in anymore. If I told him to stay in bed he would and occasionally if he starts bothering me earlier or I am not sleeping well I don’t let him in. He likes to lie curled up against my knees under the cover.
Youngest, hears old boy getting in and gently hops up and she lies between us quite often stretched out tight against my back or side and snuggled in my arm pit. I drift off again.

Vile to others. Reassuring to me and them.

OnceUponAnEnzyme · 27/12/2020 19:44

www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/health-fitness/better-sleep-next-to-a-dog-650590#:~:text=A%20study%20by%20The%20Mayo,it%20moved%20in%20the%20night.

I'll just leave this here Grin

1stTimeMama · 27/12/2020 19:46

I think it's awful. Can't imagine anything worse on my bed! Ours isn't allowed on any furniture. She has her bed, and there she will sleep.

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/12/2020 19:48

Only problem i find, is that they take most of the bed up.

ChanklyBore · 27/12/2020 19:48

I don’t like anyone in my bed
Men
Children
Dogs
Cats

They can all fuck off, it’s my bed.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 27/12/2020 19:50

My dog isn't allowed upstairs at all. She's a large dog so going up and down flights of stairs regularly would be terrible for her hips. For that reason alone we have never allowed the habit of going upstairs to develop. Regardless of that I wouldn't want a dog in my bed.

Gobbycop · 27/12/2020 19:53

Grim,

Hair, slobber, stink.

No thanks.

Original poster
firthy85 · 27/12/2020 19:56

i think what it is with me is that so many dog owners seem to treat taking the dog to bed as the same as letting their dc come to bed with them. sorry but it's not the same. your child overtime learns that they have their own bedroom and it gradually fades out. dog's don't have the same mindset as humans and i think sometimes people are so rediculously obsessed withtheir dogs that they can't seem to understand the difference. they are part of your family but they are far below the chain of your family environment

OP posts:
Monsterjam · 27/12/2020 19:56

Why do you need to understand? If you don’t like it, own it, come out and say it’s disgusting /horrid etc. It’s a goady thread with no real point

SimonJT · 27/12/2020 19:57

@firthy85

i think what it is with me is that so many dog owners seem to treat taking the dog to bed as the same as letting their dc come to bed with them. sorry but it's not the same. your child overtime learns that they have their own bedroom and it gradually fades out. dog's don't have the same mindset as humans and i think sometimes people are so rediculously obsessed withtheir dogs that they can't seem to understand the difference. they are part of your family but they are far below the chain of your family environment
My dog has his own bed in his crate, he starts the night there, if he gets in our bed and one of us tells him to go back to his crate he always does on a first ask.
Nohomemadecandles · 27/12/2020 20:00

@Monsterjam because then they wouldn't be able to feel quite so superior, clutch and feign housewife horror hands.

"If I had a dog, I don't think I'd let it in my bed." Simple, effective but far less condescending. And that would never do

MissJeanLouise · 27/12/2020 20:00

@lidoshuffle

aibu to not understand why dog owners let their dogs sleep with them in bed?
myoho · 27/12/2020 20:01

I have three dogs who allow me to sleep in 'their' bed

whenwillthemadnessend · 27/12/2020 20:01

My dog isn't allowed in any room that has carpet Grin let alone my bed!! But before I get flamed we live in a big house and have plenty of non carpet rooms.

My cats are allowed anywhere downstairs regardless of carpets as they don't make soft furnishings Smell bad.

mbosnz · 27/12/2020 20:02

Right, so what is really distressing you, is other people's dogs might not know their place?

Good gracious, I can see how this is playing so much on your mind.

OnceUponAnEnzyme · 27/12/2020 20:04

What is with mn's obsession on ranking every individual in the family? It's constantly: the dogs are lower then the kids who are higher than the aunties who are lower than the PIL but they are lower then your parents - but everyone ranks higher than the hamster. Or whatever.

It's perfectly possible to have families/households in with this ranking is not a key feature.

I suspect some people are obsessed with trains, Kim Kardashian, coin collecting, looking good on Instagram, cleaning like Mrs Hinch, or whatever. Ultimately, it makes no bloody difference to my life so why would I care? Why do you care if someone lets their dog sleep on the bed? Is it your bed?

SexyGiraffe · 27/12/2020 20:04

We are pretty soppy dog owners and our dogs have free rein in the night to come into our room or go in the living room (where they have several dog beds and a sofa to sleep on), but even we draw the line at letting them on the bed. This is partly because they are both Lab crosses and are big, hairy and stinky, so I don't think it would be much fun! If it was a little dog that didn't shed I could see how people get into the habit.

LJC1234 · 27/12/2020 20:05

@ShesMadeATwatOfMePam

I read some threads on here and wonder why some women let their bloke sleep in their bed tbh.
This comment has made my day Grin