Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DMIL gave me ‘vegan’ brownies and DC is CMPA!!

272 replies

FTEngineerM · 26/12/2020 19:18

I am raging, DCs face flared up yesterday evening and we were wondering why.

We have prescribed creams from GP hydrocortisone and moisturisers both in the bath and normal.

DMIL said ‘ I’ve bought you brownies from a vegan place you can have them
With the vegan ice cream I got you’ as our Christmas dessert.

Today we brought the box home as she was looking after dc for the night. They have milk in them!!!!! I’ve had 6 small brownies, tried to be sick but only a tiny bit came up.

No wonder his face is flaring up. I feel terrible for not checking, I trusted her. He will suffer now. How can I trust anything they do ever again.

OP posts:
LikeHerdingCats · 26/12/2020 19:45

OP
Just send her a photo of her gc's skin and ask her which shop as you need to complain. It could be worse for another customer.
Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

Sosososotired · 26/12/2020 19:45

Your mil bought them with good intentions. It's up to you to check food your give your child. Obviously let her know what's happened so she won't make the same mistake again. As someone who also have a food allergic child, I didnt trust anyone to feed my son for this reason.

SwankySharky · 26/12/2020 19:45

You need to take responsibility for what you do and don't eat.

It's your responsibility and no one else's.

SwankySharky · 26/12/2020 19:45

Oh, and don't make her feel guilty - just ask where she got them and complain to them.

KarmaNoMore · 26/12/2020 19:46

Erm, I do not know how old your child is, but if there is something I have learned dealing with severe allergies for years is that you can’t trust nobody but yourself and even so, you will also make mistakes.

It is a mistake, a honest one, but going forward to be in the safe side you need to provide the food your DC is going to eat. Even with the best intentions, people get it wrong from time to time.

CodenameVillanelle · 26/12/2020 19:47

She didn't do it on purpose obviously

Posturesorposes · 26/12/2020 19:47

Your post perplexed me. But I gave you benefit of the doubt as I thought a massive drip feed of manipulative trickery is about to come up which would legitimise the tone in the OP. But your update has left me really annoyed. What a bizarre reaction to a genuine mistake.

jessstan1 · 26/12/2020 19:47

You wouldn't expect vegan brownies to have milk in them. That's the whole point of vegan as opposed to vegetarian.

shittestxmasever · 26/12/2020 19:48

What a bizarre reaction to a genuine mistake.

Indeed. I can imagine she would be devastated knowing baby is suffering

Whatwouldscullydo · 26/12/2020 19:48

Hm.soubds a bit strange I mean vegan stuff is pretty mainstream now in supermarkets and bakeries. So where was this "vegan shop" . Do you know where she got them from?

You should have checked the labels obviously, but unless you are abkut to tell me you have a vegan bakery in your local town centre id be a bit Confused

SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/12/2020 19:48

Also, unless she goes to that place often, it means she went quite out of her way to go to vegan place for vegan brownies? That's nice even though it ended like this. I would expect the brownies to be vegan in that situation

DressingGownofDoom · 26/12/2020 19:48

Right well she bought you something that she believed in good faith would be suitable and you didn't bother checking that it definitely was. that's on you so count it as a lesson learned.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 26/12/2020 19:49

Your poor MIL, she's been doing this perfectly for a month, one mistake and you react like an absolute bitch,

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 26/12/2020 19:50

You didn’t check either so can’t lay all the blame on her.

Given she was hosting and providing free overnight childcare I would very not be making her feel bad when you didn’t check either.

Ihateme · 26/12/2020 19:50

She’s probably assumed the brownies were vegan - maybe they were from a health food shop rather than a vegan one and she’s misunderstood.
I was going to suggest maybe she didn’t realise the severity of the impact of an allergen through breast milk but then saw that she’s a HV.
I wouldn’t take pics and send them to her. She’ll feel awful enough as it is 😞

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire · 26/12/2020 19:50

Were they actually bought from a vegan place? Because I'm struggling to see how they would have milk in them or even have been cross contacted with milk if they were. I suppose it's possible someone working there ate something with milk in and didn't wash their hands thoroughly enough? Because if that is the case it's hardly MIL fault.

TooMinty · 26/12/2020 19:51

If she genuinely bought them from "the vegan place" then surely it's the shop's fault not MIL's? As obviously not vegan! If there's no history of her doing things like this then I'd say it's a mistake and you shouldn't be angry with her.

vanillandhoney · 26/12/2020 19:51

Could it be soya milk and he's also reacted to that?

Therarestone · 26/12/2020 19:51

You are over reacting. It sounds like she has trusted the shop she bought them from. If the allergy is this bad then you have to check before you or your child eats anything. Speaking as mum of a CMPA 2 year old, take responsibility for your child.

And to the pp who said to never let her see the child again.... That was a joke right?

Ilovemaisie · 26/12/2020 19:51

Your priority* should be contacting the manufacturer of these products because they may need to be recalled if they are incorrectly labeled.
(*priority after making sure you and baby aren't dangerously ill - obviously)
I doubt she did it on purpose. You need to find out exactly where she bought them from and contact them asap. If they were dangerous for you too eat then they could be dangerous to others too.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/12/2020 19:52

@EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire

Were they actually bought from a vegan place? Because I'm struggling to see how they would have milk in them or even have been cross contacted with milk if they were. I suppose it's possible someone working there ate something with milk in and didn't wash their hands thoroughly enough? Because if that is the case it's hardly MIL fault.
More likely bought them in and didn't check properly. Which mKes me wonder how many people are now quickly checking their vegan brownies at home.
seven201 · 26/12/2020 19:52

@hashbrownsandwich

Just calmly explain what's happened and ask her to double check in future or not to be offended if you want to double check .

I agree with this.

I had a dc with cmpa and was breastfeeding too so I know how hard it is. It does sound like a genuine mistake though.

InFiveMins · 26/12/2020 19:52

YABVU. Most likely a mistake she will feel dreadful about. Chill out.

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire · 26/12/2020 19:52

@Ihateme

She’s probably assumed the brownies were vegan - maybe they were from a health food shop rather than a vegan one and she’s misunderstood. I was going to suggest maybe she didn’t realise the severity of the impact of an allergen through breast milk but then saw that she’s a HV. I wouldn’t take pics and send them to her. She’ll feel awful enough as it is 😞
Yes I assume it was a health food shop and she misunderstood. She could have still asked for vegan brownies but maybe there was cross contact in the kitchen?
Fluffycloudland77 · 26/12/2020 19:53

I’m allergic to cows milk and a lot of milk free/vegan stuffs not suitable for cows milk allergies due to methods of manufacture.