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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is the most fucking annoying comeback on Mumsnet

302 replies

Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:28

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

OP posts:
TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 15:28

@Hobnobswantshernameback

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

Is your father a serial killer?

Tell us more.

HerBigChance · 26/12/2020 15:30

Yep - extremely annoying. There is a stubborn refusal on here at times to believe that two conflicting things can both still be true at exactly the same time.

Shinylikeglass · 26/12/2020 15:31

I think often though, the behaviour they're complaining about is harmless and well meaning, not really in serial killer league.

Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:31

Grin nah not a serial killer
Retired postie
But my mother......Wink

OP posts:
NeedToKnow101 · 26/12/2020 15:32

I agree OP.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2020 15:32

Oh come on now, it's not the most annoying... suggestions of rubbish comebacks and then "tinkly laugh" has that honour Grin

Cheeseandlobster · 26/12/2020 15:32

It depends on the post I think. If someone is being a princessy diva then its ok to say this. If someone is genuinely in distress then its dismissive n feels like misery top trumps

Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:33

But it's a ridiculous comeback
"Tolerate any behaviour no matter how annoying or destruction or irritating or whatever as one day they'll be dead"
Well we'll all be dead one day
Doesn't give us carte balance to behave like and annoying dick

OP posts:
Ultimateblends · 26/12/2020 15:34

Projecting. People read posts, apply them to thier own experiences and emotions and type.
These replies are from the ones who feel the guilt or bereavement when applying the OP to their owns thoughts.
Nothing to do with the op, or decent advice, but its a human reaction.
Usually another poster will acknowledge that poster with a sorry for your loss, type response. Thus making original "haven't got XYZ here" post acknowledged and poster feels better.

I tend to ignore and continue reading to posts more relevant

Doesn't get on my nerves when you think why the replies about passing are originally wrote in the first place.

Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:34

Ah feck
The tinkly mumsnet laugh
Just
Fuck
Off
Grin

OP posts:
HerBigChance · 26/12/2020 15:35

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Oh come on now, it's not the most annoying... suggestions of rubbish comebacks and then "tinkly laugh" has that honour Grin
God yes. Usually followed by a head tilt.
Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:37

See if someone "tinkly laughed"'at me and then did some weird head tilt I'd worry they had trapped a nerve in their neck or something

OP posts:
caperplips · 26/12/2020 15:37

I nominate:
Give your head a wobble
And
Are you on glue
As two of the most ridiculous things said with depressing frequency on MN
I do not know a single person in real life who would ever say such silly things (thank God!)

MrsKingfisher · 26/12/2020 15:39

'You sound unhinged' is the most ridiculous saying on here. Never have I heard anyone irl been described as that nor have I heard anyone say it but it's used so frequently on here. It's easy to be rude and lack compassion from a keyboard.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2020 15:39

Oh god I forgot the worst one, even worse than tinkly laugh...

"Man here..."

You don't need to announce you have a penis. You really don't.

OuiOuiKitty · 26/12/2020 15:40

I think some people who come from cozy families have no idea how complex it can be when you come from a family like mine that isn't ideal. Their upbringing was so sheltered that they can't imagine, a mother for instance who abuses you, it's lovely in a way that they feel that way.
I think we all probably have certain blind spots though due to our own experiences.

Throwntothewolves · 26/12/2020 15:42

See also 'why did you marry/have a child with him?' Because I don't have a crystal ball. I always think 'How can you be so sure that your husband won't ever have mental health issues/lose his job/ have an affair/get a 'hobby'/just check out/leave etc. No one ever really knows anyone, and people can and do change over time.

It's very black and white on here, no grey. People can't be both bad and good, right and wrong.

HerBigChance · 26/12/2020 15:43

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Oh god I forgot the worst one, even worse than tinkly laugh...

"Man here..."

You don't need to announce you have a penis. You really don't.

"Man here" is too often followed by "I wonder what you ladies think about..." [insert laughably tedious scenario here that is 960 paragraphs long]

"Are you on glue" had its moment a long, long time ago and is just embarrassing now.

MrsGrindah · 26/12/2020 15:43

I hate “ You should try the Freedom Programme” . It might be well intentioned, but it comes across as if it’s that’s simple.

Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:44

People really don't understand that shock horror not everyone's lives are the same

OP posts:
OhYesYouDidBoo · 26/12/2020 15:44

I sometimes think it's a huge race to the bottom in here.

"If the thing that's hurting you isn't as bad as the thing that's hurting me it's really not valid, how dare you moan about feeling that."

It sucks big time to be honest. There is always someone worse of than each and every one of us, but it doesn't make anyone else's feelings less valid or important.

NeedToKnow101 · 26/12/2020 15:44

@OuiOuiKitty

I think some people who come from cozy families have no idea how complex it can be when you come from a family like mine that isn't ideal. Their upbringing was so sheltered that they can't imagine, a mother for instance who abuses you, it's lovely in a way that they feel that way. I think we all probably have certain blind spots though due to our own experiences.
Yes. It shows a spectacular lack of imagination though, or comprehension skills.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2020 15:46

Oh and if a woman speaks about the maintenance she receives from a partner, if it's £100 a month there will inevitably be a reply saying "count yourself lucky, why are you moaning, I get £5 a week I would be thrilled with £100 a month." Let's stop celebrating men who contribute the bare minimum to their children - they aren't heroes they are just slightly less shit dads. Let's celebrate mums and dads who actually are great!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2020 15:46

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Oh and if a woman speaks about the maintenance she receives from a partner, if it's £100 a month there will inevitably be a reply saying "count yourself lucky, why are you moaning, I get £5 a week I would be thrilled with £100 a month." Let's stop celebrating men who contribute the bare minimum to their children - they aren't heroes they are just slightly less shit dads. Let's celebrate mums and dads who actually are great!
Sorry i meant ex partner not partner obvs.
Butterymuffin · 26/12/2020 15:46

See also 'why did you marry/have a child with him?' Because I don't have a crystal ball

This. Also, none of us have time machines! What's done is done.

On similar lines, I also dislike the 'you should have known what to expect when you married a man with children' to stepmums. I'm not one and even I find it fucking irritating.