To think this is the most fucking annoying comeback on Mumsnet

[Hobnobswantshernameback]

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

'you need to educate yourself'

Often seen on the feminism boards and directed at some poster who has made a well meaning enquiry but gets a patronising slap down because God forbid she is not 100% up to speed on the latest texts or theories.

I nominate this one:

PEOPLE ARE DYING!!!!! Sometimes followed by "FFS".

Whenever anyone dares to complain about you-know-what.

@Fcuk38

I think when you have been through the a bereavement your entire outlook on things changes. I lost my husband at 38 and I now have a different outlook/ perspective on everything whereas before I would have completely agreed with you.

Fair enough but that doesn’t apply to everyone

Surely it’s:

“You do you hun”

But yeah I agree with your point, people who post “at least you...” tend to be emotional vampires who can’t see in front of their own noses.

The problem is no matter what your situation there is someone who has it worse so these comparisons are pointless.

'Is your Google broken?'

No but it doesn't chat to me, share experiences or make me laugh. No need to be a twat about it.

Oh I got quite issued off on the how hard it is to have a Christmas baby thread. The sheer strain suffered by those whose babies are born on about 10th January and 15th December.

Was so close to typing "get a grip" because mine was born on Christmas bloody day.

I hate the fact that having fairly basic expectations of a man is apparently unreasonable. For example, I think the following are fairly basic human expectations of a partner:

• treat each other with respect
• both pull their weight around the house
• both actively parent children

On here you're apparently exceptionally 'lucky' to have captured one of these rare or mythical men and suggesting that women as a class raise our bar by saying 'maybe I'm worth more than a 29 year old man who leaves his pants down the sofa and plays xbox all night' is blaming women for men's behaviour. It really isn't. It's saying men are responsible for their behaviour but we don't have to be their live in maids or surrogate mothers.

@PegasusReturns

The problem is no matter what your situation there is someone who has it worse so these comparisons are pointless.

I was thinking more of the lack of validity

I mean yes people have varying degrees of shit to deal with

But the example someone gave of

• My father is a serial killer

• oh but you’re lucky he’s ALIVE

That’s the kind of thing that’s really annoying.

I think when you have been through the a bereavement your entire outlook on things changes

Who hasn't experienced bereavement though?

And no, I don't think everyone's entire outlook DOES change.

@DillonPanthersTexas

'you need to educate yourself'

Often seen on the feminism boards and directed at some poster who has made a well meaning enquiry but gets a patronising slap down because God forbid she is not 100% up to speed on the latest texts or theories.

Oh yes, and when you ask them to educate you that's not right either

@Fcuk38

I think when you have been through the a bereavement your entire outlook on things changes. I lost my husband at 38 and I now have a different outlook/ perspective on everything whereas before I would have completely agreed with you.

Yes, usually people's perspective changes in some way. But does it mean that we must go and tell others to shush and stop moaning about their issue? Or do it on LIGHTHEARTED threads? No. Absolutely no

Oh dear God and even this thread isn't exempt FFS
Foulke I've had plenty of bereavement and plenty of perspective trust me

@Fcuk38

I think when you have been through the a bereavement your entire outlook on things changes. I lost my husband at 38 and I now have a different outlook/ perspective on everything whereas before I would have completely agreed with you.

I don't think it is that unusual to have experienced bereavement, is it? I certainly don't think it is a reason to be twatty and self righteous and that is the posts the OP is objecting to. How it is remotely helpful to tell someone complaining about her vile mum that you had a lovely one?

And posts like Fcuk are fucking patronising
I can at least grasp that my life experiences and perspective are just that
Mine
And sometimes in the middle of a shit time being told we should be grateful for the shit time because some people have it shitter is fucking insensitive

Grrrr. Rant over.

I've had it in real life regarding my mother who I'm now no contact with after nearly 40 years of emotional abuse and bullying.

I wish I'd been quick thinking enough in my emotional state to come back with something suitably cutting and to the point, like....

At least you knew unconditional motherly love, or love at all for that matter, for 30 years. My mother could live till she's 90 and I'd still never know what that feels like (and she probably bloody well will just to spite me!!).

Unfortunately I didn't say that, instead i just crawled back into my shell and waited till I was at home on my own to have a good cry.

@caperplips

I nominate: Give your head a wobble And Are you on glue As two of the most ridiculous things said with depressing frequency on MN I do not know a single person in real life who would ever say such silly things (thank God!)

Give your head a wobble is the worst!!

It's what we used to say to each other when we were in about year 9. I've never known an adult in real life say it.

Also, now i come to think about bad mumsnet comebacks, I haven't seen anyone use "tinkly laugh" on any threads on here in a long time but that used to be terrible too.

I must admit, I nearly spent half of Xmas day complaining about my elderly mum

But I knew what would happen if I did! 😂

And sometimes in the middle of a shit time being told we should be grateful for the shit time because some people have it shitter is fucking insensitive

At least you have shit. I haven't had shit for a while. Be grateful for a shit.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

And sometimes in the middle of a shit time being told we should be grateful for the shit time because some people have it shitter is fucking insensitive

At least you have shit. I haven't had shit for a while. Be grateful for a shit.

You know that’s going to be an answer next time some poor poster gets diarrhoea?

OP thanks, this thread has really made me laugh 😂

My parents both died when I was in my twenties. They were really awful when they are alive and I thought I was going to have to look after them into their old age. I don't regret cutting them out of my life for a second.
I think a lot of people who make the "one day they'll be dead" comment are wallowing in their own self-righteous pity party.

@AcornAutumn 😂😂