To think this is the most fucking annoying comeback on Mumsnet

[Hobnobswantshernameback]

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

How old are you,OP? You sound young.

😬

The worst thing I see in here is when people with terminally ill children, or bereaved parents come on to tell us about their child and someone (usually more than one person) comes on to say "I have a child the same age reading this has made me hug them a little bit tighter"

Its so jaw droppingly insensitive, and the people commenting don't seem to see it.

Sorry your kid died but I'm hugging mine because your story made me sad so never mind.

I've had this said to me on here and in real life, and I absolutely hate it.

Just anything that ignores the post and puts down the poster, regardless of the content.

Also the pointless derailing:

“I was having coffee with a friend and she suddenly turned round and smacked me in face. What should I do?”

“I presume you’re not from the UK, OP. We’re in a lockdown at the moment! You shouldn’t be meeting friends!!!”

It’s the competitive of bad. Some people can’t take it when someone’s having a worse deal than them - whole variety of reasons why I’m sure.

If someone is being a princessy diva then its ok to say this.

It’s not for you to decide whether someone would be better or worse off of their parents were no longer with them.

Totally agree OP. Same goes for anyone struggling to cope with lockdown being told they should be thankful they haven’t had it/had someone die with it/aren’t working on the frontline/still have a job. As of someone else’s misery makes a hard time any easier for someone else to live with their troubles.

Didn’t the Python mob do a sketch involving holes in the road which was about this sort of competitive misfortune stuff?

Far as I know, my Dad is not a serial killer, unless you count deaths through boredom. I do have a relative in law I’m a tad suspicious of though!

the yorkshireman i think tinkerbell

Your [whatever], your rules.

As if someone can't possibly be wrong or being a dick about something if it's theirs. Or positively dangerous, like sometimes with "your bubs, your rules". Bleurgh.

"Not your circus, not your monkeys" also for some reason makes me irrationally angry.

@Hobnobswantshernameback

See if someone "tinkly laughed"'at me and then did some weird head tilt I'd worry they had trapped a nerve in their neck or something

I wouldn't be able to stop myself laughing at them, I imagine that would not be the effect they had in mind.

My personal favourite is: "my husbands left me, my child's been taken into care and Ive just become homeless"

Answer: It's spelled "I've"

One of these days someone who’s posted “are you me?” is going to trigger an existential crisis. If you’re me then who the fuck am I?!?

@ipswichwitch You are nobody, as you have officially been wished out of existence and are therefore condemned to spend the rest of your days haunting the corridors of mumsnet

@ipswichwitch

One of these days someone who’s posted “are you me?” is going to trigger an existential crisis. If you’re me then who the fuck am I?!?

But what if those asking are sock puppets?!

@ipswichwitch

One of these days someone who’s posted “are you me?” is going to trigger an existential crisis. If you’re me then who the fuck am I?!?

@TrialOfStyle

Just anything that ignores the post and puts down the poster, regardless of the content.

Also the pointless derailing:

“I was having coffee with a friend and she suddenly turned round and smacked me in face. What should I do?”

“I presume you’re not from the UK, OP. We’re in a lockdown at the moment! You shouldn’t be meeting friends!!!”

Oh yes, CoviCunts.

Seriously fucking boring people. Every single thread... sneery posts saying "I'm not sure you should be doing that, we're in lockdown"

Not everyone is posting from their sofa in England

I'm going to go against the grain here (then says the same thing everyone else has).

This one bugs me. Either they haven't read the whole thread or they don't know what that phrase means.

take yourself off for a spa day

I hate the suggestion of spa days, or have a glass of wine, or have a piece of cake but I can't explain why. Perhaps because they are temporary reactions to situations that might require more action.

(Also, I would hate a spa day and would never enjoy drinking alone. I would show no mercy to the cake, though. 😁)

It is the response of those who want everyone else to shut up so that they can be centre stage.

'Did you mean to be so rude' is really going to cut right through that meanness, isn't it?

Did you mean to be so rude, OP?

Yes, I absofuckinglutely did.

I've never been to a spa day.😔 Feels like I don't belong on MN.
Fo just get smashed on cheap bubbly while in a hot tub or what is it?

@StrangeLookingParasite

Did you mean to be so rude, OP?

Yes, I absofuckinglutely did.

I meant to be incredibly fucking rude. Clearly I wasn't rude enough.