To be super upset. Travelled from a safe list country

[starrain]

Iv just come back from a country yesterday which is on the safe list and has less cases than the uk. My pregnant sister lives with my mum and I wanted to go and see them today as my daughter is itching to see them and my niece.
Iv kind of been warned off and told dont come because iv been travelling and be cautious. But there is no where on the govt rules to quarantine or isolate after travelling from this country. My mum said she doesnt mind but my sister most likely does mind but won't just come out and say it. I kinda get it but at the same time I'm actually so so upset. I had got them gifts and was going to give them and also my daughter got all ready to meet them now I have to tell her no:(

I’d only meet you outside too.

There is risk from travelling on planes / in airports etc.

You’ve had a (hopefully) lovely, relaxing holiday in the warmth, just be grateful you’ve had that.

YABVU.

You’re not a single parent are you?

Seems surprising that you are eligible to form a bubble with both of them.

Their approach seems sensible. I wouldn't want to see anyone at close proximity who had been through airports etc regardless of where from, just as I wouldn't want to see anyone who had had a lot of contact with others. Just because our rates are higher here, if your family are being cautious their risk would be lower than the average.

It's not about people believing the parts they want, it's about making choices for your own well-being.

The government cannot make rules that protect every individual. They have to try and balance the most good for the least damage.

I wouldn't be meeting someone indoors who has just returned from abroad with everything that entails.

@starrain

I'm not being unreasonable because I havent said anything to her, just saying I'm upset. I personally wouldn't have minded. What's to say they haven't picked it up from someone at work or supermarket shopping in the UK where the cases are way higher than any country. I should be isolating from ppl here. Yea think I should have extended my stay. Dismal here

The majority of work places people are socially distanced. In supermarkets you’re not close to anyone for any length of time.

On a plane you aren’t socially distanced and you will be in close proximity to others for an extended amount of time so I see your sisters point. Sorry, I wouldn’t want to see you either.

I'm not sure OP whether you have just been on holiday or you live abroad.

You are obviously being ridiculously unreasonable. You seem to be ignoring the fact that there is a pandemic on and that the world does not revolve around what you and your DC want.

1. Why didn't you consult your sister first before making these plans? And listen to her response. This situation was avoidable.
2. Tier 3 - you are not allowed to visit indoors period.
3. Why did you promise your DD something that is breaking the rules? You are responsible for her disappointment.
4. You can't be in a bubble with your sister and mother. Thats not how they work. They are only for single households, or carer relationships.

So you were told not to come, came anyway and are now upset that they don't feel comfortable socialising with someone who has just travelled internationally?

There's no such thing as a "safe country" once you've left it.

I have no idea what you mean by they're your "bubble" - how is that possible if you live abroad and they are multiple households. It sounds like don't understand what a bubble is in the UK. It doesn't equal "any family I feel like seeing".

YABVU

Please don't feel upset but try to respect the feelings of your pregnant sister and elderly mother who has arthritis. If you choose to travel and come into contact with potentially infected people with the coronavirus, you must consider that other people who are concerned about being infected will want you to quarantine before seeing them or see them safely outside. We are in a situation here where new variants are being discovered that spread more easily and some people will suffer a mild illness, others will have long post viral illness or long-term health challenges and others may get suffer serious consequences.

YABU.

You've been in airports and queues with the general public.

Your sister is pregnant and your mum is older; it's not all about you. Drop off the presents outside and wave at them from a safe distance, perhaps a conversation from the pavement and a window.

Do they have a garden? You could go see them and spend time distanced but close enough to chat, exchange gifts and have a different but hopefully still cosy Christmas visit.

I do understand that you feel disappointed on your own and DDs behalf, that’s not nice, especially at Christmas time.

But protecting the safety of your family members trumps your right to choose to undertake a relatively risky Activity (international travel, presumably passing through an airport).

In your sister’s position I’d take exactly the same stance, sorry. Maybe drop off the presents and arrange a Zoom call instead.

With rates sky high and many hospitals almost full we all need to do our bit. Even if you’re bubbled up with someone, if you choose to undertake a risky activity then self isolating makes sense until you can be sure that risky activity won’t result in a terrible consequence.

@Posturesorposes

I do not believe this post.

I, too, refuse to play. Appropriately socially-distance high-five, Postures.

Haha @RightYesButNo

It is sad and obviously you feel bad but you'd probably feel worse if your sister got it and affected her pregnancy. This year has been truly awful, hopefully their is light at the end of the tunnel.

I think you are unreasonable to question the decisions another person is making to keep themselves safe during a strange and difficult time. We are all doing our best here.

YABVU

I also don't believe your 'story'. But if it is true, you sound selfish.

Your sister is doing the right thing. Have some respect for her taking steps to protect herself and her unborn child.

You are not allowed to visit. End of. Why didn't you check before you arrived.

YABU. We were deemed 'safe' a while back - things change rapidly. Christmas and travel rules were always subject to change. This virus hadn't gone anywhere. Of course people are disappointed, but it's unreasonable to think anything is set in stone right now.

Get a grip! You can't have a holiday when only essential travel is advised and then expect to be able to visit relatives here when we are still dealing with this pandemic.
Just wait 10 days ffs and get a private test done.

I'd be disappointed too OP.

But it's the virus, and I'm thinking we have to respect the wishes of the more cautious person. It is not personal.

My neighbour, 85 years old, who has a lung condition, has been very upset this Christmas by her son insisting she go to his house, and her having to refuse.

It is dismal that's true but everyone has to just get over it and start planning next Christmas (fingers crossed it is all over then).

FGS. This has to be fake

This is how it spreads though, people thinking oh I'm not a high risk...and then inadvertently carrying it from one place to another.

I'm sorry that you're disappointed, I don't blame you, but holding off on visiting is for the best.

You chose to go on holiday, they chose to stay in the safety of their own home.

Respecting their wishes is a no brainer.

YABVU.
Respect your sister's boundaries.