Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be super upset. Travelled from a safe list country

221 replies

starrain · 26/12/2020 12:00

Iv just come back from a country yesterday which is on the safe list and has less cases than the uk. My pregnant sister lives with my mum and I wanted to go and see them today as my daughter is itching to see them and my niece.
Iv kind of been warned off and told dont come because iv been travelling and be cautious. But there is no where on the govt rules to quarantine or isolate after travelling from this country. My mum said she doesnt mind but my sister most likely does mind but won't just come out and say it. I kinda get it but at the same time I'm actually so so upset. I had got them gifts and was going to give them and also my daughter got all ready to meet them now I have to tell her no:(

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/12/2020 12:18

That was the risk you took. Travel to/from a "safe" country is no guarantee of being Covid free. Or is this a reverse and you are pg sister?

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 26/12/2020 12:18

You have still been sitting on a plane breathing recycled air with hundreds of strangers though. I wouldn't want to come near you right now no matter how much I loved you.

WitchFindersAreEverywhere · 26/12/2020 12:18

You must have known the potential rules and risks before you decided to travel.
You need to think about your vulnerable family members rather than yourself. Travelling at Easter might have been more sensible.

Fuckstickss · 26/12/2020 12:19

If I could was pregnant I definitely wouldn't want to be around anyone that had just flown/been in an airport.

FourTeaFallOut · 26/12/2020 12:19

What's to say they haven't picked it up from someone at work or supermarket shopping in the UK

Absolutely, that would be your choice to decline the invitation if you thought that activity was risky.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 26/12/2020 12:19

Meeting people indoors is so high risk that it's banned in most of the UK. And your sister is pg so naturally she is going to err on the side of caution.

You, on the other hand, have been in close quarters with hundreds of people going through an airport and flying. You really do have to suck this one up I'm afraid, as have millions of others this Christmas.

(DH and I are on slightly different places in the risk-averse spectrum so I have been doing 'riskier' things than him. But when it comes to our home, we've agreed the most cautious person always gets the right of veto, that's only fair. So I've been eating out, he hasn't, I've hugged friends, he hasn't, but I would never have people visit us indoors if he didn't want to. That's maybe what's going on with your mum and sis.)

NoSquirrels · 26/12/2020 12:19

Have you travelled specifically to see them?

Or have you been on holiday, and are now back and expecting to see them?

I’m sorry you feel left out but I’d not want you over if I was your pregnant sister.

It’s pretty much the rules everywhere that you can’t go anyway - only in Tier 1 are you allowed to meet indoors, and almost no one is in Tier 1.

It all sucks not nearly everyone is in the same position. It’s a disappointing, left-out sort of a year. Flowers

Shakirasma · 26/12/2020 12:19

Where in the UK are you anyway, where you are allowed to visit other houses?

Covidrelapse · 26/12/2020 12:20

To me this depends on a few things. What tier your sister and Mum are in. Whether you went on holiday or were living in the other country you’ve come back from. But in all likelihood yes you’re being very unreasonable.

zzizz · 26/12/2020 12:21

Sorry OP. YABVU.

AJTracey · 26/12/2020 12:22

Yabu what tier are they in? Most don’t allow house visits anyway

NoSquirrels · 26/12/2020 12:22

Just because you personally would be OK with it, doesn’t mean others should be.

EveryoneRevealsThemselves · 26/12/2020 12:22

This can’t be a serious post can it? You honestly think you’re pregnant sister who’s mindful of your elderly mother is in any way being unreasonable?
What tier are they in?

zzizz · 26/12/2020 12:22

If you really want to see them though, a few weeks of isolation will fly by (no pun intended) and you can meet up then.

Mintjulia · 26/12/2020 12:22

The rules have been changing so fast that I understand why you had a plane ticket booked but surely you knew the rules. Don't you read the news?

A friend arrived from the canaries on the 23rd, realised what was happening and went back on the 24th because he didn't want to spend Xmas on his own in his bedsit.

Sorry you had such a rubbish Xmas but no, I don't blame her either. Sad

Bringonthebloodydrama · 26/12/2020 12:23

People like you that for some reason think the law doesn't apply to them are part of the reason we are in this fucking mess.

Scarlettpixie · 26/12/2020 12:23

Where are you/they? Meeting indoors is illegal in most of the uk.

That aside, I wouldn’t want to see you if you had just been on a plane regardless of where you had been. I was avoiding people in the summer until a couple of weeks after they returned from holiday and the numbers were much lower at that point.

ShinyGreenElephant · 26/12/2020 12:23

Covid is horrible when you're pregnant. If shes in her 3rd trimester its really risky too, would be awful having to give birth while you had it. Even if youre Tier 1 I would say the same as your sister and mum

JazzyGeoff · 26/12/2020 12:23

@starrain

I'm not being unreasonable because I havent said anything to her, just saying I'm upset. I personally wouldn't have minded. What's to say they haven't picked it up from someone at work or supermarket shopping in the UK where the cases are way higher than any country. I should be isolating from ppl here. Yea think I should have extended my stay. Dismal here
But working and shopping for food are kind of necessary activities. Social visits aren't, not at the moment anyway. Set up a Zoom and let your daughter see them that way- gifts will wait for a while.
cautiouscovidity · 26/12/2020 12:23

Unless you're in tier 1, you shouldn't be meeting anyone indoors anyway. It is extra stupid if you've travelled from abroad (you've passed through airports where goodness knows who went before you), and your sister is higher risk as she's pregnant.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 26/12/2020 12:24

You've been on a plane, I assume? YABU, sorry but the risk is quite high from all that recycled air on the plane.

Jay2020 · 26/12/2020 12:24

I saw something suggesting that death rates in women with a c section who has covid the month before or after birth was around 2%. Contact in an airport and in an aeroplane will have increased your risk, even if you've been really safe/careful otherwise. I think it's the right decision to keep distance.

Fuckstickss · 26/12/2020 12:24

Are they in tier 1?

Cecily42 · 26/12/2020 12:25

YABVU but think this must be a joke post?

cautiouscovidity · 26/12/2020 12:25

@Shakirasma

Where in the UK are you anyway, where you are allowed to visit other houses?
It's still allowed in tier 1 (I think only Isle of Wight and Isles of Scilly).