Childless Aunty

[superfly25]

I'm a childless Aunty not by choice. Just never happened for me. After shelling out on gifts for nieces and nephews am gutted to not have a single present from my siblings. Even my Grandparents only now buy for the Great Grandchildren. AIBU to expect even a small gift or card?

YANBU, its just mean and they should get you a little something from the DC. even if its a homemade hamper.

My BIL is childless and very generous with my two DC. We always buy a gift for birthday and Christmas from them to him. I can't believe others don't, that's very thoughtless.

@Chouxbuncity
I don't think that's relevant. If a family member is buying anyone in your household a present and you haven't specifically told them not to do so it is extremely bad manners not to reciprocate. As it is impossible to buy non-existent children presents this includes buying for childless adults even if adults with children are not bought for.

That's shit.

I have two siblings and four nieces/nephews.

Sister one - I always used to buy for her children, and got her a token gift. Every few years I would get a card. Never any sort of present. I'd also treat them throughout the year when I can afford them. I stopped buying anything after I realised none of them had said thank you for about 2 years.

Sister two - I always buy for her, her partner and children. She has less disposable income than me but will always get me a small present and a card.

It's really not on for people with children to unilaterally decide that people should make the effort for them but they don't have to reciprocate.

YANBU, we do ‘DC and Uncle X who doesn’t have DC’ on one side and everyone on the other. Poor form unless the childless adult has requested no presents!

Growing up, I had a childless great aunt and a childless great uncle. They bought myself and my brother presents. My parents always went massively out of the way to spoil them at Christmas. More so than they did with my grandparents.

Gosh that’s terrible. I buy gifts for my child free brother. He spends more on my kids than I do on him but at least he has some silly gifts to open!

Just to bring you a bit of balance OP.

I have 4 nieces and nephews and now 3 great-nieces and nephews. I have always bought them presents but have never once received one from their parents or expected one. I bought them to see the delight on their faces.

My SiL buys my DC presents and expects expensive ones back. I find this really odd. I don't want to do it and have recently scaled it all back. I'd really rather she didn't buy anything for my DC and spared me the extra expense and stress at Christmas sorting her out along with everything else I have to do. I'd also rather she spent time with my DC, which she has never done.

Sorry you feel this way. I hope you have some presents from elsewhere. Cut back next year and spend the money on yourself.

Childless SIL.

In our family if you have DC people buy for them not you but if there are no DC then people buy for yu

My sister is childless (by choice she's worked bloody hard for her career) so gets extra spoilt. She got a hamper from me and gets spoilt by my mum. I don't get as much from my mum, but I totally understand that she thoroughly spoils my children. So yes OP it is bad form

Agree.
Buy for kids when it's reciprocal. Otherwise you still buy.

It's like a petty "well she ONLY brought for me force children not me so why should I buy her a present?"

YANBU, they're being really rude. I have a DD but before she was born my SIL declared that we should all just buy for the kids . She had 3 DC we had none at that point. Some people are so selfish and insensitive.

If your family only buys for kids then it’s not a surprise you haven’t received anything. Christmas is a very expensive time of the year I think most people only buy for children these days, maybe next year if you want to receive a gift suggest an adult secret Santa or similar. You shouldn’t give to receive it’s like very kind you have bought gifts for the children of the family.

My DSis is childless and certainly gets a present from me (as does her DP). I've never considered not giving her anything - she's my sister!

I never really get just buying for the children. My children get loads of presents - some from relatives haven't arrived yet this year and they won't notice (and they're late primary not toddlers). DH and I get far fewer. If we were to decide to limit, I'd want to do only the adults!

Also a childless aunt, although childfree by choice, if that makes any difference. Only giving to the children is fine for me personally as, like other posters above, I can buy anything I actually want rather than receiving random token gifts.

I will send either money or a gift to children, as it is the right thing to do, and can be fun choosing the presents. Although I don't have any relationship with them beyond sending birthday or Christmas gifts. It is extremely unlikely that a relatiohship will develop, so I will probably always just be the sender of gifts to them and otherwise be a non-entity.

However, recenlty I haven't even received a card either which I do find hurtful, it shows a lack of any thought for you as a person deserving of acknowledgement.

Not at all I’m sister is childless but has a dog she sees as her baby she buys for my dd I buy for her dog it’s about giving and being thoughful

@StatisticalSense personally I disagree. I buy for children and don’t expect anything back. I don’t really want anyone to waste their money on a token gift. Maybe your family don’t realise this OP. I’d just mention it breezily that it would be nice to get a gift for a change

Oh no.

Stop buying for them. They are selfish and unthinking.

Buy something nice for yourself in the New Year.

YANBU that’s really unkind. I have kids and I buy gifts for the aunts/uncles without kids and insist they don’t buy for me as they always buy for our kids so I think it’s nice to return the favour. It’s not giving to receive it’s just showing appreciation.

That's rubbish OP. I'm a childfree Auntie by choice. I've got one niece and I'm her only Auntie. My partner is her only Uncle, she asked him a few years ago if she can call him Uncle. We get birthday and Christmas cards and presents from her, her Dad and her Mum (my sister).

Perhaps if possible you could treat your nephews and nieces to a day out with you instead of presents. I think things like that are more rewarding about being an Auntie, time, fun, lots of ice cream and you then give them back.

Your siblings are non other than selfish greedy gits.

That's mean. I buy for my childless brother and childless uncle and aunt , i dont expect it to be all one way - my mum would say don't bother but I think they appreciate it.

Yanbu and it is horrible that they are not reciprocating.

Similar boat here. I have scaled back in recent years.

A token gift would be nice, even a bottle of wine at Christmas to show they thought of me.