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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is easier and he does ‘get a break’

185 replies

mincepiemaker · 24/12/2020 00:05

I’m really resenting dh. I’m regretting the agreement that I’d be a sahm.
I’m annoyed that he can’t see how he has it easier and gets a break/change of scene ??

He has a 1 hour drive each way. Not through any very busy areas so what would be considered a ‘nice’ drive if makes sense.
Every morning it’s so important he has time to get ready, go to the toilet, make his nice coffee for the journey etc. So he has that hour twice a day with the radio on and his nice drive to work

When at work it’s 1/2 tasks at a time. A lunch break and adults to talk to.

Whereas here I am stuck. Cant even get to the toilet sometimes to the point o get stomach ache as can’t leave the baby and toddler for a second and toilet is too small to fit the baby’s chair in and I can’t leave the toddler anyway (asd). So I’m fed up anyway with that aspect.
But He does help a lot with housework etc but he doesn’t realise his travel to work and being at work is what I’d consider a break/rest
I feel upset that i agreed to this and I feel like
I’ve changed my mind but am stuck now. I wish I’d worked harder at school and got qualifications and had a career. I don’t think I’m cut out to be stuck at home like this Amd onfeel guilty as I agreed to it and now I’ve changed my mind

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 24/12/2020 09:59

A one off drive or even 3 days a week could be a nice break. A 5 days a week, drive in the dark both ends, especially when it is raining hard, when you're tired, is not pleasant at all. It demands concentration and us exhausting.

I never felt better than when I gave up my 1 hour commute. I hated it and that's despite loving to drive otherwise. You always have the idiots on the road that gets your blood boiling, the accidents that make you worried you're going to be late, the hazardous conditions.

It's definitely a case if the grass being greener. Yes, being able to be on your own and not accountable to anyone is a distraction, but it's not an easy pleasant one.

BubblyBarbara · 24/12/2020 09:59

Cant even get to the toilet sometimes to the point o get stomach ache as can’t leave the baby and toddler for a second and toilet is too small to fit the baby’s chair in

You really need to change your attitude to parenting. This level of paranoia is going to hurt you in the long run. It is very healthy (both for baby and for your mental health) to be able to leave a baby for a few minutes to be able to do things like this. It is not necessary to be on top of your child every waking second. Most parents in the world do not have this experience.

Brunt0n · 24/12/2020 10:02

You don’t have to do this forever and I would recommend that you don’t.
I remember when my husband flew 9 hours for work. He was dreading 9 hours in economy. I was so jealous of that 9 hours where no one would be talking to me or touching me and I could just eat / sleep / watch films in peace 😆 It’s all about perception I suppose!

I work part time now and I feel that gives me a better balance. I couldn’t be a SAHM.

RandomMess · 24/12/2020 10:10

Could you afford any help with the DC?

A student do a childcare course, a very part time nanny?? Someone that would build a relationship with your toddler so at least you could have some calmer time at home?

Yes it's lovely having the privilege of affording to stay home with your DC but a toddler with SEN makes the hard work of toddlers even harder.

I know it won't be able to find childcare/help but if you start looking then you may find something?

Hugs Thanks

mincepiemaker · 24/12/2020 10:12

@BubblyBarbara

Cant even get to the toilet sometimes to the point o get stomach ache as can’t leave the baby and toddler for a second and toilet is too small to fit the baby’s chair in

You really need to change your attitude to parenting. This level of paranoia is going to hurt you in the long run. It is very healthy (both for baby and for your mental health) to be able to leave a baby for a few minutes to be able to do things like this. It is not necessary to be on top of your child every waking second. Most parents in the world do not have this experience.

With ds as a baby it wasn’t a problem Now my issue is I can’t leave them together (he throws things etc) and can’t take just baby as he screams if alone and I can’t take them both up or just him as then he thinks it’s bath time and has a meltdown due to confusion
OP posts:
mincepiemaker · 24/12/2020 10:15

Before covid we had a group or appt most days and he was so much calmer. Things were actually going ok.
Everything has stopped understandable in the situation but it’s totally changed everything for us and decisions made pre covid I certainly wouldn’t have made now 😞

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 24/12/2020 10:17

Get a job then!

The commute isn't a break ffs.

billy1966 · 24/12/2020 10:22

OP,
This all sounds very hard and relentless.

Your husband will have to spend more time with his son.

Your mental health is suffering and will only get worse if you don't take action.

Nothing is set in stone.

Focus first on your husband spending time with his son.
Doing housework is positively relaxing compared to dealing with a challenging toddler.

He needs to get used to his son.

You need to get out of the house, if only for a walk, to clear your head.

Take action before your toddler's dependence on you becomes complete.

Flowers
ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas · 24/12/2020 10:22

Being a sahp to baby and toddler - really hard. A few years and they are both at primary school/nursery, you will get your sanity back and then things will swing back round to you having the easier role. Depends if you can hold out that long!

nosswith · 24/12/2020 10:29

You do not say what your DPs job is, but is it one where some of it could be done wfh or with different working hours? Which would give him the opportunity to help at least one day a week and perhaps if DS saw him more, would respond better to him?

SoddingWeddings · 24/12/2020 10:37

My mum went back to work as a midwife after 3 months, she hated being a SAHP.

My friend went back to work as a police officer after 4 months instead of the 12 months she had planned, she hated being a SAHP.

You can change your mind. It's ok to do that. It's also not failing your children or your husband.

NursieBernard · 24/12/2020 10:42

Please have a look at applying for DLA for your toddler, there doesn't need to be a diagnosis in place in order for them to qualify. You could then use this money to send your toddler to nursery or a childminder giving you a little bit more time to yourself. In time you could use this opportunity to gain some qualifications etc if that's what you want to do.

dootball · 24/12/2020 10:54

@ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas spot on!

Vindo · 24/12/2020 11:04

I'd hate being a sahp I think. I've got a baby and a 3 year old (under investigation for possible asd). It's fucking relentless.

I highly recommend getting a travel cot and putting it in living room so you can put baby in there while you go to the toilet etc. Does your older one have a tablet? I put mine on hers for a bit so she is distracted. It gets so much easier when they are 3 and get their nursery hours.

I have a part time job and I definitely recommend it. It doesn't have to be some high flying career at this point, just a few hours a week.

User0ne · 24/12/2020 11:06

I can totally understand why you are jealous of that time in the car. I planned on being a sahmwith a baby and toddler but couldn't hack it.

I was similarly jealous of dh's commute, time at work etc which I would have found easier than being at home all day.

To give me some time alone we developed a routine of him getting in from work and I'd go and sit in the car for half an hour/go for a drive/get McDonald's for tea on my own. It did our relationship and my mental health a world of good.

The best thing though was getting a PT job when dc2 was ~1yr old. I'm lucky that I earn good money and I found something very flexible.

2yrs later I still love the time I spend driving to work by myself, going to the toilet alone (without having to listen in case of squabbles/accidents) and eating lunch with 2 hands and no one sitting on me.

How you feel is totally legitimate. I thought I'd be ok as a sahm, but I ended up resenting it and the "break" that DH had from the kids. I'm glad I don't work full time but I'm currently expecting dc3 and there's no way I'm giving up my job!

Have a conversation with DH; maybe you can get an evening job a couple of nights a week or better do a PT college course to give you better employment prospects which will make it more worthwhile long term.

Sunshinegirl82 · 24/12/2020 11:19

Do you have a double buggy? Will DS sit in the buggy so you can just take them both for a walk? How old is the baby and how old is the toddler? Could you go for a walk in the evening just you and the baby whilst DH has DS?

I suspect that really you need to be looking at some specialist childcare for your DS, that is likely to be the only way you get a real break. Can you speak to your health visitor? Perhaps you could consider a nanny or mother's help a couple of days a week? Are you accessing all of the benefits/support you're entitled to?

ezzergood · 24/12/2020 11:21

I had twins with ASD and was a stay at home parent for 4 years then I got a full time job with and hours drive each way, not nice driving, being the only parent at home as husband worked away from Sunday to Friday.
I will say both roles were hard but I have no idea how I got through the years of full time work and commuting, plus all the care when home I would get up at 6 and still be going at midnight, I actually had no time to feel resentful of my husband who was living in a shared flat, evenings free, going to tennis, badminton done the pub. To be honest I went to the flat once and it was fucking bleak and our house at the time wasn't much to write home about.
I imagine it was pretty lonely and he had horrible drives twice a week.

The thing I found difficult being a stay at home parent was the relentless nature of it with no time to plan and prepare. Once I fathomed this and as you know the attention span of a child with asd is minutes life was fine as was outsourcing.

So cleaner, a cleaner is about the same cost as a take away for 4. Don't ask your husbands permission to do it, and remember you agreed to be a stay at home mum not chief cook and bottle washer, when I look back it is madness to expect to do everything. Make sure meals are loosely planned ahead, then order online for delivery. I insisted any jobs which needed doing after my husband got home we're done between us. So waging up, unpacking deliveries bed time, baths, stuff which was building up like washing (but this is something that can be managed normally) took him some training to realise the issue. Such as going out shopping alll day arriving home and refusing to help, pointing out this was "my" day off and he should have changed the beds/cleaned the toilet/planned dinner, and a few evenings of waking out the door as he walked in saying "buy I have finished work for the day" as he would say to me "I have been at work all day"
Took about 3 days before he realised he was being an arsehole.

Even night feeds we split, as the idea and you see it time and time again on Mumsnet is that the stay at home parent some how is able to rest and it is not as important for them to be well rested is bollox, how many times do we see tragic accidents due to a parent falling asleep or being exhausted.

Going to the toilet this is just ridiculous! You need to have a safe place to put the children. I had what I called a baby prison which is a play pen which I actually had across half a room and if I needed to nip out to the loo, answer the door cook lunch, I just shut the gate, but other friends had smaller ones and put the children in. The younger child can go in a bouncer or cot.

Get a job honesty you agreed to something you did not know if you would like, we all have jobs like that and we go and find another one this is no different, if your husband came home to morrow and said I have found another job a lot more money, slightly longer hours and commute, would you be screaming at him that he agreed he would do the job he is doing and he can't hanger the goal posts now? Of course not.
Get a part time job (sadly with a child with asd) it is difficult to hold a full time job.

RednaxelasBaubles · 24/12/2020 11:28

Stuck in the car for an hour alone was heaven for me when I commuted. We have 2 under 4. Absolute bliss to be alone, no one shouting at me, grabbing me, moaning at me..

Tell DH you've changed your mind. Don't ask. Tell. He can do some childcare and housework over the weekends while you prep job applications and interview answers etc. If you're stuck for what job or career you want, get help. Talk to your university careers service, hire a career coach etc.

Ohalrightthen · 24/12/2020 11:39

With ds as a baby it wasn’t a problem
Now my issue is I can’t leave them together (he throws things etc) and can’t take just baby as he screams if alone and I can’t take them both up or just him as then he thinks it’s bath time and has a meltdown due to confusion

This is going to sound mean, but just let him scream. YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. leave your baby in the cot and take your toddler, or put your baby in the cot,leave your toddler doing an activity, and shit in peace.

Kids cry. They have meltdowns. It happens. You can't sacrifice your health and comfort for them indefinitely.

PicsInRed · 24/12/2020 11:40

I think you need to focus on taking care of yourself and becoming as financially independent as possible.

Your good mental and physical health, and your financial independence, is what ensures your kids are provided for. And your retirement.

Do you have a pension? As you aren't working, are you signed up to child benefit (as this ensures you recieve state pension credit for the years not worked)?

Treeerex · 24/12/2020 11:45

Oh bless you OP.

You need to just set aside some time for yourself to escape. Even if its a 30 minute walk when DH gets in, so you can get out for a walk.

SodapopCurtis · 24/12/2020 12:07

Hi.

This may or may not help and may seem a little daft. But you could try a visual timetable for your son. I know he seems young and it might take a little time. But have a picture for each room you are going to, but make the toilet one a bath one and a toilet picture and plan in your day. Give him 10 min, 5 min countdown warnings to you going to the toilet. Have a particular toy up there - pouring a jug of water into the bath? When that is done, you are done and back to the other place.

It will take repetition but may help.
Xx

SodapopCurtis · 24/12/2020 12:11

Also to say. You are not wrong to feel this.

Take care

mincepiemaker · 24/12/2020 12:18

@Ohalrightthen

*With ds as a baby it wasn’t a problem Now my issue is I can’t leave them together (he throws things etc) and can’t take just baby as he screams if alone and I can’t take them both up or just him as then he thinks it’s bath time and has a meltdown due to confusion*

This is going to sound mean, but just let him scream. YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. leave your baby in the cot and take your toddler, or put your baby in the cot,leave your toddler doing an activity, and shit in peace.

Kids cry. They have meltdowns. It happens. You can't sacrifice your health and comfort for them indefinitely.

When I say meltdown I mean due to asd it can then last for hours if not the whole day. One thing ‘wrong’ and that’s it -absolute hell and it’s awful 😞
OP posts:
mincepiemaker · 24/12/2020 12:19

I think I took for granted his groups/appts where he was occupied and supervised and I could nip to the toilet. I need to get something in place I think I just need to find something safe that he likes so I can manage to run when I need to !

OP posts: