So bored with my friend humblebragging

[stanlet]

She'll send pictures of her messy play/craft set up and then say something like 'no wonder I spend all day tidying up!'

It's not just things like that but that's a most recent example.

I can't bare humblebragging!

@Whatnext2018

I find this all mean spirited. I post lots of pics of my Dd on Sm as I’m at home with her at the moment, we waited 9 years to have a baby and basically I adore her! It’s for my family and friends to see and I only get positive feedback. No way did I think people would see me as bragging by posting the things we get up to. I think this is your own issues and insecurity maybe, just mute them perhaps if you don’t like them

I've said so many times. It wasn't on social media.

@stanlet It could be she just enjoys sharing these things with you as a fellow mum 🤷🏻‍♀️If you feel it isn’t genuine and she is just showing off (about crafts seems an odd thing to do) just mute her or as awful as it sounds, start to reply a little less gradually over time.

I can't believe ppl send their friends videos on WA of their kids performing!

The cringe of it!

I don't mind the odd cute pic. You just have to respond 😍, job done. Easy peasy.

But videos? Oh fuck no. I came off FB to avoid that stuff, don't infest my WhatsApp with it!

@ElspethFlashman

I can't believe ppl send their friends videos on WA of their kids performing!

The cringe of it!

I don't mind the odd cute pic. You just have to respond 😍, job done. Easy peasy.

But videos? Oh fuck no. I came off FB to avoid that stuff, don't infest my WhatsApp with it!

I generally reply with this 😂 or this 🥰 and try and leave it there!

I don't understand how it's bragging to pay a picture of your children playing with crafts..? Or she 'bragging' about tidying up?

I don't have automatic downloads for videos on my WA anyway - I'm in a family group that sends "funny" videos every day about Covid etc and tbh they were clogging up my phone memory like mad.

So sometimes if I see everyone posting 😂, I just lash on a 😂 too even though it hasn't even downloaded, lol.

@TheVamoosh

I don't understand how it's bragging to pay a picture of your children playing with crafts..? Or she 'bragging' about tidying up?

House was perfect. The craft set up was obviously expensive etc etc and it was all perfectly posed.

Then a message saying 'no wonder why I'm always tidying up'

Well then.. don't set up crafts then...

What was my response supposed to be other than 👍🏻

@TheVamoosh

I don't understand how it's bragging to pay a picture of your children playing with crafts..? Or she 'bragging' about tidying up?

It's just a way of trying to covertly show off the crafts. Ooh what a mess! But really it's just an excuse to take a photograph of the wonderful educational activity she's doing with her child.

Definitely sounds like a toxic mummy frenemy relationship given that you are convinced she is doing this to actively cause you upset. Why would you keep someone who you feel is this awful in your life? Especially when you have enjoyed how much posters on this thread have been so venomous towards her?!

@MichelleScarn

Definitely sounds like a toxic mummy frenemy relationship given that you are convinced she is doing this to actively cause you upset. Why would you keep someone who you feel is this awful in your life? Especially when you have enjoyed how much posters on this thread have been so venomous towards her?!

Where have I enjoyed posters being 'venemous'? Bit of an overstatement there

The ' ha ha I do this' 'right on the nose' responses to people who suggest being disparaging , that your 'friend' is insecure in her parenting, that she has issues as she's a single parent?

@MichelleScarn

The ' ha ha I do this' 'right on the nose' responses to people who suggest being disparaging , that your 'friend' is insecure in her parenting, that she has issues as she's a single parent?

You're overstating my feelings. I don't feel at all venomous. Just having a private moan for the first time in 3 years.

But do you genuinely feel that she is doing this to upset you? I just feel that life is so shit and stressful at the moment that am trying to only have positive things in my life (as much as is possible!) If every message that pings through from her causes you stress or upset before you even open it, that's another load on your plate you don't need!

@MichelleScarn

But do you genuinely feel that she is doing this to upset you? I just feel that life is so shit and stressful at the moment that am trying to only have positive things in my life (as much as is possible!) If every message that pings through from her causes you stress or upset before you even open it, that's another load on your plate you don't need!

No, maybe not deliberately but the humblebragging is irritating!

That's all I said in my OP

Id just ignore all the posts like that then, respond to the random chatty day to day ones, and hopefully she'll get the picture! Have had to do this with a friend who is very very pro SNP, (not at all similar to your situation i know!) on everything else im happy to see her messages , but I just skim over them!

I have a couple of friends who are insufferable on Facebook but I generally ignore them and sometimes even snooze them because they are actually lovely people and I really love them and their company.

But Facebook does things to some people...

I think people are maybe missing the caption that goes along with the picture. I wouldn’t find it annoying if someone sent me a perfectly staged activity and said “I’ve been working on this all day, hope child likes it”’or whatever, it’s when there’s an attempt to minimise it that it becomes annoying “just threw this together” etc.

I think you need to try to let it wash over you with stuff like that - she’s just looking for validation. I would probably mention something re the speech stuff though.

Ignore but at some point tell her how everyone was laughing at humblebraggers and how ridiculous they are. Also remember at some point her child will probably behave like a complete dick and you can be secretly pleased.

I really don't understand this post.

From an outside POV it looks like you're looking for things to be upset about with your friend. If you don't feel love and support towards and see her behaviour in a positive light, the friendship has run its course. A bit like when the Ick sets in with a guy, you just can't fight it.

The whole big boob thing, sorry utter bollocks. I have 38 k boobs and I feel nothing but shame and discomfort about them. The last thing you'd see me doing is bragging about them.

I don't get it, there's so many rules to follow to not upset people it's a minefield. I didn't even k ow about this rule.

@StCharlotte

I have a couple of friends who are insufferable on Facebook but I generally ignore them and sometimes even snooze them because they are actually lovely people and I really love them and their company.

But Facebook does things to some people...

You missed the part where this isn't FB, the friend is messaging the OP this stuff directly. So pretty hard to just ignore when a response is awaited.

Umm what did t you think social media was for?

@Moomin12345

Umm what did t you think social media was for?

IT WASN'T ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Hence why I deleted my Facebook. It’s a combination of that and everyone loving their lives through it. Always assuming you know what’s going on in their life because you have a Facebook page. But ignoring you if you text or call to see how they’re doing? It’s weird!

My son is autistic so I can relate, I don’t take indirect stuff to heart but I don’t brag about my kids achievements either because I celebrate them within our own family. Direct messaging it to you is down right insensitive at the very least. Especially if she knows your child struggles in some areas. Some people 🤦🏻‍♀️

*living their lives (excuse my fat fingers) 🤣

YABU OP, I love a good stealth boaster. I used to have one on Facebook and I used to wake up every morning looking forward to her posts of faux concern over how incredibly advanced her children are, and how she was jealous of us mere mortal parents who had children developing at average rates 😂 Sadly she "did a cull, only true friends will remain" and I clearly was not fawning over her and her amazing offspring enough so hot unfriended. Facebook has never been the same 😭