Page 3 | So bored with my friend humblebragging

stanlet · 2020-12-23T14:44:03+00:00

She'll send pictures of her messy play/craft set up and then say something like 'no wonder I spend all day tidying up!' It's not just things like that but that's a most recent example. I can't bare humblebragging!

easterndreaming · 23/12/2020 15:36

I think, as pp have said, that it would be a good idea to point out the speech example because the reason it is insensitive is because she is your friend and presumably should realise that it may have been hurtful. Other times though it's best to let it glide over you. Maybe try and realise the reason why it annoys you. Maybe you yourself say things, without realising, that other people will take as humblebragging. It could e anything, and to you nothing more than an innocent comment, but it might be the thing others are sensitive about.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 23/12/2020 15:36

My DS’s speech is delayed. I don’t know anyone insensitive enough to do what she is doing to you, but I would have absolutely no hesitation in responding ‘that’s lovely. As you know we’ve had a really tough year worrying about DS’s speech.’ She would have to have the hide of a rhinoceros not to get it and if she persisted I’d cool the friendship sharpish.

ClutchingMyPearlsAppropriately · 23/12/2020 15:37

@LadyFoxtrot

If that was me I’d write ‘looool humblebrag much’ and leave her to scramble her way out of it

Just reading down to see this. Haha said the same.

Mumtwoboys90 · 23/12/2020 15:38

Honestly I think this is one of those own your own feelings situations. My son had speech therapy for years but I never felt such anger towards friends whos children didn't have any issues it never crossed my mind to think they would be sending me anything maliciously!! I loved seeing videos and things of their kids growing up I think this is more about you actually and not her. You should be happy for your friends if you don't like her then why are you friends with her?! I think its a sensitive subject and actually you seem a bit jealous of her. If my friends send pictures of nice things they have been up to I don't think its humble bragging at all its called being friends and sharing things together and I enjoy seeing them having a nice time.

SandysMam · 23/12/2020 15:40

She’s probably insecure OP and looking for affirmation she’s a good mum. Just love bomb her, be kind and say wow looks great etc. Don’t give it too much headspace. If she keeps bringing up the speech thing, then she might be a bit of a dick if she is fully aware of your struggles. If she brings nothing to your life, just let it fizzle out!

Original poster

stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:40

@Mumtwoboys90

Honestly I think this is one of those own your own feelings situations. My son had speech therapy for years but I never felt such anger towards friends whos children didn't have any issues it never crossed my mind to think they would be sending me anything maliciously!! I loved seeing videos and things of their kids growing up I think this is more about you actually and not her. You should be happy for your friends if you don't like her then why are you friends with her?! I think its a sensitive subject and actually you seem a bit jealous of her. If my friends send pictures of nice things they have been up to I don't think its humble bragging at all its called being friends and sharing things together and I enjoy seeing them having a nice time.

Yes my own feelings come into it of course. I just wish I'd never confided in her so I wouldn't find it annoying for her to continue sending videos etc all the time

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VetiverAndLavender · 23/12/2020 15:42

If she's posting these things to her FB and not as direct messages, I think they're harmless and not really humblebragging. Most people wouldn't see it as something to brag about that their child had made a mess or was constantly making noise (even if that noise is singing). Maybe not the most interesting thing to write about, but fairly standard and no worse than what most people see fit to share with the world.

It would be thoughtless if she was complaining about it directly to you, but I don't think it's insensitive, if it's her own FB.

pretendingtobezen · 23/12/2020 15:43

No real advice but just to say I’ve found a direct correlation between bragging and compensating. Like many OTT relationship / marriage brags. The happier people truly are, the less they need to broadcast. One uni friend had the biggest wedding, #marriagegoals, #loveofmylife etc but they were separated by their first anniversary. Ever since then I’ve been ever more mindful of showreel vs real life.

Original poster

stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:45

@SandysMam

She’s probably insecure OP and looking for affirmation she’s a good mum. Just love bomb her, be kind and say wow looks great etc. Don’t give it too much headspace. If she keeps bringing up the speech thing, then she might be a bit of a dick if she is fully aware of your struggles. If she brings nothing to your life, just let it fizzle out!

This is probably right on the nose

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Original poster

stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:46

@VetiverAndLavender

If she's posting these things to her FB and not as direct messages, I think they're harmless and not really humblebragging. Most people wouldn't see it as something to brag about that their child had made a mess or was constantly making noise (even if that noise is singing). Maybe not the most interesting thing to write about, but fairly standard and no worse than what most people see fit to share with the world.

It would be thoughtless if she was complaining about it directly to you, but I don't think it's insensitive, if it's her own FB.

It's not fb. Direct messages

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LemonBreeland · 23/12/2020 15:49

I've just read this thread and thought it was just on fb in general. Direct messages is just rude and uncaring. I would ignore anything that is braggy.

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stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:53

@LemonBreeland

I've just read this thread and thought it was just on fb in general. Direct messages is just rude and uncaring. I would ignore anything that is braggy.

No sorry it's direct, non group whatsapp

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sherrystrull · 23/12/2020 15:56

I have a friend like this. She's deeply insecure. I take it with a pinch of salt. Try not to be upset by it. I know that's hard to do.

Original poster

stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:57

@sherrystrull

I have a friend like this. She's deeply insecure. I take it with a pinch of salt. Try not to be upset by it. I know that's hard to do.

I should probably be more lenient. I think she is quite insecure

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stanlet · 23/12/2020 15:57

As am I!

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Janegrey333 · 23/12/2020 15:58

@stanlet

It's always the same.

Videos of my child singing/reciting the alphabet etc saying 'she just won't be quiet today' when my son has been in speech therapy for a year.

It's so annoying

She’s being unkind. Not nice.

WaterAndTheWild · 23/12/2020 16:06

My children are older now but is anyone really interested in videos of their friends children reciting the alphabet or doing crafting activities?!

Cheeseandwin5 · 23/12/2020 16:06

Maybe she is sending the video out to lots of people and didnt make allowances.
I would say, just let her get on with it. She needs the approval of others, it is something to be sympathetic about really.

rollinggreenhills · 23/12/2020 16:11

I have a friend who is always posting photos of partly-packed suitcases and comments of "Can't believe I'm packing again already, only got back from St Lucia ten days ago" followed a couple of days later by pictures of cocktails by the exotic pool. They go on holiday a lot.

Fortunately for me, they haven't posted any for quite a few months now.

VictoriasCousin · 23/12/2020 16:12

Not RTFT but just to say my speech delay child is now the biggest talker. He sings non stop. It was wonderful to watch him find his words, but the worry beforehand was terrible.

Also humble bragging is the worst. Better just to brag than all the bloody pretence!

DrManhattan · 23/12/2020 16:15

Just put 'omg your house is a proper shit tip. Good luck cleaning that up. Dont forget your hazmat

Arthersleep · 23/12/2020 16:15

Sounds like she's sending films to keep in touch. It sounds like you've had a hard time with your child's speech delay, sorry to hear that - but that doesn't mean that a film of someone else's child singing is a dig at you.

This!! My child has a speech sound delay. My sil often shows off how well her child can speak. It's not a dig, she's just proud of her. And I share videos of my children who are really interested and good at maths. That's not a dig at her children either. Yes, it's normal to not realise that others might not be as excited/interested in your children as you are. So we all do it at some point. And just as she is seemingly oblivious, as much as the rest of us think that we wouldn't do anything so insensitive, the reality is that, at some point, we have probably offended someone else oblivious of their sensitivities. And we will probably remain oblivious to the fact that we have done so.

I would cut her some slack if she is otherwise a good friend.

Brieminewine · 23/12/2020 16:19

I think you’re being overly sensitive because of your son’s issues. Surely friendship is about sharing experiences and achievements together? My friends often send videos of what their kids do and it’s lovely to see how proud they are of them! I don’t think you sound like a good friend tbh.

fridgepants · 23/12/2020 16:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

Original poster

stanlet · 23/12/2020 16:28

@Brieminewine

I think you’re being overly sensitive because of your son’s issues. Surely friendship is about sharing experiences and achievements together? My friends often send videos of what their kids do and it’s lovely to see how proud they are of them! I don’t think you sound like a good friend tbh.

It's not just about speech at all.

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