So bored with my friend humblebragging

[stanlet]

She'll send pictures of her messy play/craft set up and then say something like 'no wonder I spend all day tidying up!'

It's not just things like that but that's a most recent example.

I can't bare humblebragging!

You have my sympathy I have a someone like this in my life. I did block them and mute them on social media, they’re actually extended family so had to keep them close but now I don’t see when they upload and sometimes depending on my mood, I will just delete a video sent on WhatsApp without viewing it.

It says more about her than you so try not to let it get to you, but I know how you feel so I do sympathise x

One of my friends posted an Instagram diary of amazing looking activities, lots of smug posts about making memories, loving lockdown etc. She admitted that it as a snapshot and most of the time it was tv while she was working.

Well done for getting SLT so young. They don’t consider it here until they are on the verge of school at least.

She's a dick, but plenty of other stealth boasters (bores) sticking up for her.

@IMNOTSHOUTING sorry to disappoint you but not I don’t, mine isn’t quite old enough yet unfortunately.

Yes OP knows this woman, she describes her as a friend, one she doesn’t want to bring this up with so not to offend her, so I’d gather they have a pretty close relationship not just a passing acquaintance. It’s pretty shit behaviour to begrudge your mate sending you pics of her kid playing because it makes you feel inadequate in some way.

A PP described it perfectly, toxic fake mummy frenemies.

@Facelikearustytractor

I'm not seeing the humble or the bragging in any of those examples. So I'm a bit baffled. Why would you brag about things being in a shit state? I sent a picture of my decimated Christmas tree that the kids had been all over earlier. How is that braggy? I thought it might be funny, considering all the perfect Christmas wonderland shit you see on social media.

Unfortunately kids do have different abilities and my son is utterly useless at sport, but I wouldn't get pissed off if someone posted about their kids doing well at it. If you are on SM you can't expect everyone else to filter their posts for you. You have to opt out yourself.

I must say the over the top "look at my wonderful creations/holidays/life" posts are braggy and annoying. That's why I'm not on SM like that.

It wasn't social media. It's direct private WhatsApp's

@MintyMabel

Well done for getting SLT so young. They don’t consider it here until they are on the verge of school at least.

We went private because I feel like it's money absolutely well spent

I honestly don't mind the proud photos and videos.

It's the fake 'woe is me having to tidy up an activity that I decided to play so I can post to my friends and all over Instagram' that I can't stand.

Maybe it's just me, I'm not maternal enough or whatever but like most people I couldnt watch a video of others' children by choice (I've perfected the ability to feign interest though, with colleagues etc) and I assume no one would want to watch mine too so I never share them, even with good friends.

She's probably just spent all day on her own with her child trying to entertain them and wants some sort of vague adult interaction/appreciation even if it's only in the form of a like on Social media but is trying not to look as desperate as she feels . No one would do any other kind of job without some sort of pay and or appreciation so I can understand why she would do it. Looking after a young child all day on your own can be pretty mind numbing and leave you feeling very isolated so I'd give her the benefit of the doubt (but I don't know her obviously).

I was also going to say that it maybe comes from insecurity. I have a friend who does this and I think her mental health isn’t great. It’s annoying, but maybe just seeing it from that perspective may help.

I've never come across this with a friend. I almost one of them did so l could be sarcastic back

I'm so sorry to hear this love. I have a friend who is very similar but about the "new detached house" she bought and the "new double garage door" "new conservatory" "new huge dining table" "new carpets throughout" "new entire posh range of skin care" "new make up range I just had to hsve because it's christmas." "yet another award I've won" "call from the ceo telling me I'm so amazing" "wedding that's so many thousands of pounds I can't even mention!"

She's a lovely friend otherwise but the showing off constantly is very very grating and had dimmed my view of her somewhat. Its been incessant this past 2 years, she never used to do it before.

I hate nearly everyone on social media but irl I can put up with most people (in the right dose!)

So now I don't look at people I know but just follow a few accounts that are run by professional communicators.

If people are ok in real life then stick to that.

@DecemberDiana

I hate nearly everyone on social media but irl I can put up with most people (in the right dose!)

So now I don't look at people I know but just follow a few accounts that are run by professional communicators.

If people are ok in real life then stick to that.

It wasn't on SM

Ah right OP, it's a bit trickier if sent direct to your phone. Just ignore it then. I don't think your friend is trying to intentionally make you feel bad or says she's superior and I don't think she is trying to be braggy. Read CottonHeadedNinyMuggins post, now that is bragging!

I do find constant photos of your holidays/perfect house/kids sent to anyone and everyone a bit narcissistic and I've never got the whole selfie thing I think it's better to say "My kids have got the house in a right state today" then offer to send the pics, not just send them anyway.

I have a friend who constantly posts those “making memories” hashtags, pictures of them baking and reading and doing crafts together, videos of wonderchild bouncing around the living room and playing with his music toys... it would be utterly annoying if I didn’t know that she is secretly really, really struggling and this is a brave front she presents to the world.

Might be the case for your friend. Or indeed just a smug humblebrag.

@CottonHeadedNinyMuggins - did she join an MLM 2 years ago, by any chance?!

I don’t see it as bragging- no idea what humble brag is meant to mean.

She is a single mum. I always say one of the hardest things about been a single mum is knowing no one really cares about your child like you do. You will say to your dh ... did this today , we have been doing , you will never guess what ... did. She doesn’t have that.

The speech thing ( I say this as someone whose child had speech delay and speech therapy involvement) people don’t think, Ny friends Ds also had speech delay - a mutual friend said at about 2- at least ..... can jump... we joked about it for years... any issue .. at least he can jump....

I think you can look to be offended. I don’t see setting up Messy play as a brag . As a cm, I often take a picture before the children touch it , it looks lovely for about 10 seconds after they dive in. I sometimes take a picture of the carnage.

Just to add I also don’t expect my friends to pretend they don’t have HD’s but don’t pretend it’s not easier having someone their especially in the early years

I see this as bragging too op! Staged craft set ups, house is such a mess today (when it's clearly spotless) and don't get me started on the hash tags! And all the 'feeling very lucky to be able to do this this and this with my child' type comments! I think it depends on the person, if they do this all the time, I don't know how you manage to keep quiet! I know your talking more about direct messages here, but I agree just don't view just delete!!

There's no need for her to rub your nose in it. I have a friend who posts lots of pictures of her little one running around. My son isn't walking yet and it does make me sad but she would never specifically send me a message about it because she knows it's a minor concern for me.

She may be struggling with self worth if she feels the need to post these "aren't I doing well" posts. I know they're annoying, but perhaps try to see them as a cry for help. I have a friend who moved to the country and kept posting "beautiful life" photos. Turned out she was miserable, lonely and marriage breaking down.

@FitbitCat

I think you should end the friendship. I have a son with autism and amongst friends we all share videos of the kids singing or whatever. I've never felt like my child was in a competition and I didn't want to be left out of the cute videos just because my kid couldn't do half of the stuff in them. I was happy to celebrate my friends kids because I like them and I'm genuinely happy for them. For her sake I'd let her move on as much as yours.

This

I find this all mean spirited. I post lots of pics of my Dd on Sm as I’m at home with her at the moment, we waited 9 years to have a baby and basically I adore her! It’s for my family and friends to see and I only get positive feedback. No way did I think people would see me as bragging by posting the things we get up to. I think this is your own issues and insecurity maybe, just mute them perhaps if you don’t like them