I'm fed up of "women in general" (your own word I would say non career women ) dragging the rest of is down
Women in general = common experience for women. Why would you assume it means "non career" women and what the hell is a "non career woman"?
We have nearly exactly the same needs as men I can do everything a man can do (except some strength stuff). Some of us have no intention of children so won't take a career break to be a mum
And your point is?
I chose a predominantly male industry women simply do not apply for jobs (only a tiny fraction of CVs come from them) nothing at all to stop us applying
Women do apply for those jobs if you structure your adverts to make it clear they have a career path or prospects and describe stereotypical male attributes in the requirements.
You are also conveniently ignoring the fact that we are raised surrounded by social mores, expectations and pressures which are very different for women and men.
Women are more likely to go to university and have higher education than men. There is no reason apart from life choices and in the UK in 2020 children are a choice.
A choice both parents have made and therefore should not unequally penalise women, as it does currently.
I have the stash of money in this relationship and one of the things that puts me off marriage is the requirement to share finances effectively saying years of study sacrifice and overtime to get me to the job I have today have to be shared equally enforced by the courts
So what? You don't see yourselves as equal partners so don't get married. Or take out a pre-nup.
So it is his money if you want 63k go out and earn it. There are loads of software engineering jobs that pay well over that. Be grateful you don't have a freeloading partner who is prepared to have a safety net without spending it on cars
OP never said she wanted it, that is an invention on your part.
She was simply surprised he had not told her about his savings whilst she had disclosed hers. At the current stage of their relationship that probably reflects different attitudes which may be minor but if they plan to marry and contract a formal partnership for life they need to be open and agree how they each want this managed before contracting,
Those loads of software engineering jobs - most of the adverts describe and set out to attract male candidates, half the time the advertisers don't even realise what they are doing. The occasional job "designed to attract women" is often so performative that it puts candidates off.
Rather like women who feeling they have made it are happy to close the door behind them rather than pay forward to other women.