Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

Nothing says 'I love you' like a folded piece of card eh?
Give the man a break.

Let it go. Go and give him a cuddle. Merry Christmas.

A card?? I mean... really? We are in the middle of pandemic, thousands dying, losing jobs, homes, world has gone crazy. And you are so upset about a card? Let him fold A4 sheet and do the handmade one.

Ive just apologised for being daft over a card

Wow the world is upside down for millions right now and this is what is upsetting people.

When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way

Sounds like you're sulking a bit. Please don't do this, it's a really horrible trait. By all means, if you think he's genuinely being unfair or hypocritical etc then have it out with him.

Sometimes I think people 'go quiet' when they know deep down they'd sound petty if they verbalise it

YABU in general and especially this year. He got you a present, he is a good man from what you say. The quiet thing can feel really passive aggressive. It wouldn't fly in our house at all.

However I will absolutely admit I am biased about cards. I came from a family who were wierd about it. Basically you could be a giant arse for the entire year but an on time card on a birthday or Christmas meant you were " thoughtful". There have been multiple issues for years over stupid sodding cards.

Now I like cards from DC (ds1 made a card this year with such a lovely message I cried ) and I like cards from DP because of the message. If he didn't get me one i would not be remotely bothered , in the slightest.

This is quite a horrible line to draw in the sand and honestly if you were a man on these boards and you " went quiet " you would be told you were giving the silent treatment which is controlling.

YABVU for all the reasons everyone above have stated

@allgoodinthehood - All I would say is that if you are in the same house cards aren't a big deal - now if that is important to you - different matter - but if he couldn't find a nice card rather than a rubbish one - I'd give him a bye on this - I always give Dh of 25 years standing a rubbish home made card with the dogs on it . If you do like lovely cards and he can't get one - well maybe cards are more your thing than his - doesn't mean he doesn't love you - a card's a card - Other opinions are available

I dont go quiet and not talk . Or answer in an aggressive manor or one word answers. He just knows by my face if Im upset .
He just knows me inside out and Im not my usual chatty self.

Yabu cards are pointless tat, you know he loves you and protects you do you really need to be upset about a piece a paper that will end up in the bin in a weeks time?

YABU!

Cards are just a formality. And a massive waste of trees.

Glad you apologised, merry Christmas

@HasaDigaEebowai

YAB ridiculous

This

When I was growing up my mother's neighbour and her husband always got one another huge, prominently displayed Christmas cards.

In our family we thought this was bloody odd.

Wow.

A card is a waste of money and resources.

From the early days of our relationship DH and I have bought each other a book or note book or diary and left a note in that.

I'm astonished at the idea of Christmas cards within a household. Isn't the whole point of Christmas cards to 'keep in touch' with people you don't see every day? Or even if you see them often, surely it's in the service of decorating their mantelpiece. If I gave my husband a Christmas card, he'd be I also don't understand those that take offence at getting one from a multipack. I spend a lot of time choosing the nicest multipack I can!

YABU, sorry! He's otherwise lovely, you live together, and Christmas cards (imo) are for people you don't live with.

But it's been a terrible year and Christmas makes the best of us a bit loopy. Go and have a mince pie and give him a hug. x

Me and boyfriend have usually bought cards. We haven't this year...we haven't been out and about like we usually have. Haven't given it a second thought. You were right to apologise.

This is one of the most upsetting things I've ever read. Are you ok OP?

Reminds me of a saying OP.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Welldone on apologising Op. Merry Christmas to you both

I’ve got 3 grown up children, 2 with partners
We no longer exchange cards at Christmas as the cost for cards for everyone (3 grandsons too) was in excess of £40 the last time I bought
The youngest grandson makes cards for immediate family but the rest of us no longer bother
Still buy gifts, just not cards