Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

For crying out loud. YABVU.

Oh golly gosh ive never bought christmas cards for my dh. I'm such a bitch! Get over yourself love.

my very first

OP wrote that she apologised about 15 pages ago, read the thread ffs people.

I simply don't get it! Why do you need a card if you live in the same house?? I echo- Poor bloke

Forget about the card. Cards aren't important to him; he doesn't 'do' cards. Great - just think what you'll save never bothering to buy a card for him, for anything, ever again?

Warm hugs are free. And if he ever looks hurt, a wide-eyed, "But I know you don't do cards!" will fix it. 😉

Personally I would be upset. I am a card person too. It's the thought, the sentiment, the words, it's once a year?! There are so many online services that he wouldn't have had to go to the shops "risk his health" he could have had it delivered to the door. He did try though. Hope your feeling better. Have a lovely Christmas x

@alltinselandbaubles

He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.

And you are upset? FFS. I'd be more bothered that he has gone to three shops to try and find a card for somebody who clearly think that a piece of cardboard matters more than their husband's health.

Quite frankly I think you are being pathetic.

This. OP my husband was like yours but do know what I didn't care as he was the best in every other way. He died suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age. What I would give to have him back. Count your blessings and cherish your good husband.

I share your pain

Apologise to ur other half

Partners don't need to give each other Christmas cards. They send Christmas cards to other people together. You are being unreasonable.

Also, let him show his love in his way and appreciate it when he does. He doesn't have to do it the way you do. Give him a card if that's your thing, but nothing Is really given with love if reciprocation is expected.

I would go so far as to apologise to him for being demanding and putting him to trouble and make him a cup of tea.

Been living in the UK for nearly 20 years and still don’t get this national obsession with the cards...obviously, I give it to people now that I live here, but it’s not a first time I hear here on mumsnet that people are upset about not getting a card/not getting a card they wanted etc Apparently, giving a card from the set can be frowned upon too! It’s best to give individually bought cards...Gee. You live very and you learn. Ok, I’m off to write my husband a Christmas card. He’s Brit and possibly been resenting me secretly all these years for bot giving him a card at Xmas...

Folks seem to have missed he wants a card and can’t be arsed to get his wife one, to me that is bloody lazy. Plus quiet doesn’t mean taken the huff and giving him the silent treatment ffs

Did he get you one in the end @allgoodinthehood. Or has he still taken the stance he doesn’t do cards.

Dullardmullard
Its all good . Im quite a funny person and automatically want to make funny quips about a card but have had to hold back . Its killing me 😂😂😂
For the record we are not married and have been together nearly three and a half years . We dont live together as I have a 21 year old son and want him to be comfortable and leave home when he wants and then we will live together. My choice.
For the record he didnt get me an anniversary card this year but he was poorly so I didnt have a problem with it .
I just want to say
I DID APOLOGISE at the very beginning of this thread.
I think some people have just been really rude in replying and seriously there was no need for it

Boring

YANBU ,he know cards are important to you, so it wouldnt be a hardship for him to get you one.
I know many people dont appreciate cards, but I do so I understand how you feel, he knew how much you'd like one and couldnt be bothered because its not something he cares about
Its about being thoughtful and caring - or not as the case may be

Consider yourself lucky to have such a great partner, if your only angst with him is over a piece of mas produced cardboard then you really need to sit down and think who is the unreasonable one.
If you are still having difficulty working that one out.
IT IS YOU

YABU why do you care about a card?
Lots of people don’t do Xmas cards.
And we’re in the middle of a pandemic!

@allgoodinthehood

Dullardmullard Its all good . Im quite a funny person and automatically want to make funny quips about a card but have had to hold back . Its killing me 😂😂😂 For the record we are not married and have been together nearly three and a half years . We dont live together as I have a 21 year old son and want him to be comfortable and leave home when he wants and then we will live together. My choice. For the record he didnt get me an anniversary card this year but he was poorly so I didnt have a problem with it . I just want to say I DID APOLOGISE at the very beginning of this thread. I think some people have just been really rude in replying and seriously there was no need for it

I'd hide the thread if I were you, unless you fancy reading another load of posts telling you off.

Hopefully you'll read your post back and get your answer.

I do not think you are being unreasonable. I love receiving cards too, I always send a card to my fiancé. I appreciate it may be a piece of paper to some but I love the words and meaning in them and obviously your own message too. He really isn't into cards so much, but he knows I am so he gets me one for every occasion.

We don't do Xmas cards. He has got you a pressie tho. I wouldn't get to worked up about a card.
I think xmas cards are gor people you are not seeing at Xmas to send them good wishes etc not really for someone you share a house with. I'm sure he will say Happy Xmas to you when he gives you your gift.

What on earth? Don't be ridiculous.

I hadn't actually known (some) people give Christmas cards to the people they live with until I moved in with my partner last year. It seems a bit pointless to me. Birthdays, yes, Christmas, no.

Even if it's a "thing" for you, you should stop sulking.

You're allowed to be upset by it but I would definitely say yabu 🤷‍♀️

We took a ton of food down to the church tonight, because there are a huge group of people that have to spend Christmas there due to a small fire in a block of flats due to faulty wiring. Three families that are scrabbling about trying to save Christmas for their little ones whilst socially distancing, waiting to find out if much in their homes is salvageable, who TRULY have a reason to be upset and unhappy.
All I would think is if not getting a daft card is enough to upset you, then you really haven't been touched by much this year have you.