Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

Just don't buy him a card ever again. It's hardly an "essential purchase" and not green whatsoever. I'd make my point that way by saying and meaning you aren't buying cards again.

Of course someone’s brought up the ‘languages of love’ stuff and acted like they’ve dropped the mic.

Bullshit.

If I express love through words but I know, due to many clear discussions, that my husband needs affectionate touch to feel loved......then that’s what I work on offering isn’t it. If cards don’t matter to me, and they don’t, but they do matter to my husband.....then I get him a damn card.

I cannot fathom how people have relationships where someone asks for something simple like a card, and the other person simply refuse to perform this simple and straightforward task because it’s not their language. Surely, surely this is not how any functioning adult conducts themselves?

Reading a trashy pop psych book is not a substitute for developing empathy.

Honestly the only reason me and my partner do Xmas cards is because we don’t live together.

When we do finally shack up in our own home, I’m guessing we won’t bother.

But even so, it’s really not a big deal. It’s only a card. If it was your birthday I could understand you being a little upset. But Xmas card? Not really a big deal.

Grow up!

@GuiEtVin

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be totally pissed off if I don't get a card from my DH and DC. But for Christmas? No. YABU

Happy birthday for tomorrow 💓

If it's important to you then you are not being unreasonable, but perhaps it's becoming out of proportion. Why don't you start a new custom for you both. Perhaps put your card to one side and agree to making each other a card with words that are special to you .

It sounds as though this man is a keeper, just think of those years ahead being able to look back. Just don't expect too much. Men are men!

@allgoodinthehood That's a shame, because I have quite a few spare Christmas cards you'd be welcome to have!

I don't send any Christmas cards. Certainly don't to people I live with! Oh and my husband hates cards so we don't do birthday cards either - again it seems a bit pointless when you live together. Then again we don't do valentine's day or wedding anniversaries either. But we have a great relationship based on mutual respect and banter. Neither of feel the need for Hallmark's finest to prove how we feel because we show each other every day. Don't let this fester. He tried to get you a card. It's Christmas and things are barmy enough this year.

OPy DH is CEV and has not been out of house since a couple of times in August. When I turned out last year's Xmas cards so D's could make gift tags I spotted the card he bought me last year. It is a lovely card chosen with love so I just put it up again. Just glad none of my family or friends have been taken by Covid 19 to worry about a card this year.

In the last 12 months I've buried my mum had a stillborn baby and was today made redundant the day before xmas eve. I sincerely wish that was all people had to worry about was a fkn christmas card. Get a grip..

Christmas cards are something you give to neighbours and Great Aunts who live the opposite side of the Country to me. Not your oh!

@Festivemovie

In the last 12 months I've buried my mum had a stillborn baby and was today made redundant the day before xmas eve. I sincerely wish that was all people had to worry about was a fkn christmas card. Get a grip..

So sorry for everything you're going through right now 😞 ❤

You’re unreasonable. Find something important to worry about. If I was your husband I’d be really pissed off at your childish attitude.

Well, you're allowed to be upset over anything that upsets you. But I would suggest taking a good hard look at your own reaction. It's a bit outside of the norm. I would be upset if I didn't get a birthday or anniversary card, but not a Christmas card, which I consider to be a "remembrance" thing for those I do not buy gifts for.

Wisen up ... very unreasonable

I feel really sorry for him... you are so mean. It's a card FFS and he tried... I could understand if he'd given you a crap card and no present. He deserves better

Yabvu and owe him a sincere apology.
Get your priorities straight.
You must have sounded like one selfish little princess.

YABU.
Is there something deeper routed going on here?

I never write cards for Christmas. He tried. This is a first world problem.

Hi, just a question, why are Christians cards so important in the UK? I am from Australia and yes we do give Christmas cards, but it just seems Soo important in England? To me it's a nice gesture if you can be bothered to write them all out! Not my thing. Don't understand the importance thou??

Just read this out to my husband and he says you're an absolute mentalist 🤣🤣.

Sorry the word Christian was supposed to say Christmas!

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh, but, seriously! Maybe this is a wind - up ?

I would never even think to buy Dh a card but this thread reminds me that my parents always buy cards for each other and always gave me a card as a child too (and still do but now it makes sense as I don’t live with them!) it has never occurred to me to write a card to dh or my dc and I’m now wondering if I should!

have never even heard of couples giving each other christmas cards. YABVU

Well clearly in the real world people do give each other xmas cards in relationships as the shops and supermarkets are full of couple cards and spouse cards.

I've never been in a relationship where we DIDNT give each other cards at xmas.

My mum and dad always did. My mum and stepdad do. My married friends do.
It's the mumsnet parallel world again.

I get it op. A card means a lot to me even more than a present and dp feels the same.

Some horrible people on here