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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's fine for children to get joint Christmas presents

157 replies

PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 16:45

Talking to a friend who was saying she thinks children should get their own presents separate from siblings.

I think, providing they are similar ages, it's fine for children to get joint presents at Christmas.

This year their main present is joint (games console) along with some other things like Lego sets etc...

They have some separate things too but a lot of it is joint. Children very similar ages (year apart).

OP posts:
olderthanilookapparently · 21/12/2020 16:47

I think a games console is absolutely reasonable to have as a joint present due to the cost but not sure what else I would consider giving as a joint present - maybe board games but otherwise that it about it

lunar1 · 21/12/2020 16:47

Is the Lego just random pieces like the classic sets? I don't think you can expect them so share the ones with the instruction books. A console is fine though, as long as there isn't one getting loads more time than the other.

NeutralJanet · 21/12/2020 16:49

For major things like a console, or even things like a board game that everyone can play together joint is fine. For stuff like Lego sets I'd give one each unless its one of the huge ones like the Death Star.

funfunfunfunfun · 21/12/2020 16:50

Tbh I wouldn't do it. The arguing over things alone would put me off.

AaronPurr · 21/12/2020 16:50

It depends on the prsent. A playhouse, trampoline or something like a games console is fine, as it helps encourage sharing if it doesn't belong to a specific child.

A Lego set for me would be an individual present, as trying to build it together would be a recipe for arguments. However, a box of mixed Lego would be an ideal joint gift as it doesn't require specific steps and can be played with at the same time.

InvincibleInvisibility · 21/12/2020 16:51

We do consoles and board games as joint.

One year when DS2 was still little (3? 4?) I made the mistake of getting them a board game each and DS2 refusing to let anyone play his game Confused

stayathomer · 21/12/2020 16:52

How old are they? Am assuming it's not from Santa? As above I think it's fine for big presents, but for others I think kids would feel more special getting separate stuff

Thebookswereherfriends · 21/12/2020 16:53

I’ve given 2 small joint presents and then some separate little gifts to my niece and nephew - there is a year and bit between them so the joint things are collaborative things.

MrsHugsxx · 21/12/2020 16:53

It depends what it is and the ages of the child. If the kids are young and it's not able to be played with by both kids at the same time it could cause murder.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 16:53

It's a big Lego set (Harry potter one), they get one every year and do it with their Dad together. It cost nearly £80 just for one! Never mind two 😂

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 21/12/2020 16:54

Mine have had quite a few joint things over the years. This year they have a box of baking/cake decorating stuff as joint. They've had wooden kitchen, trampoline, garden toys etc as joint.
Tbh they pretty much share everything. Other stuff there has been two of if it was needed (like a doll pushchair... They needed one each to play together. They had their own doll). Sometimes they et different bits of the same range... Two different HP Lego sets for example this year.

Sharing stuff means they get more overall. 20month age difference.

RememberSelfCompassion · 21/12/2020 16:55

I think they need their own things to open and be special ans theirs, even if some gifts are sharing. We usually have a few joint presents but very definitely their own presents as well.

AaronPurr · 21/12/2020 16:55

@PeterPickerPacker

It's a big Lego set (Harry potter one), they get one every year and do it with their Dad together. It cost nearly £80 just for one! Never mind two 😂
Sorry Op, I think in this situation I would have bought 2 smaller sets. Sharing a set is likely to cause arguments.
Iooselipssinkships · 21/12/2020 16:55

We do joint and individual. The joint ones are usually board games that you need more than one player for and this year we got them a virtual reality headset plus a snow cone machine. It's always worked for us. They take turns to unwrap a joint present after doing their own.

I8toys · 21/12/2020 16:55

Big items yes. They can share these and also have things tailored to them individually.

LubaLuca · 21/12/2020 16:56

I think it's fine. My children were often given things to share, including big sets of Technic Lego that they've built together.

RememberSelfCompassion · 21/12/2020 16:57

Id rather get 2 smaller lego sets than a joint one. Its fun to do one as a family (we have!) But its not realky "yours" to enjoy yourself. Or get a HP set each to do alongside the family present.

Definitely own presents should make up the bulk (even if the sharing present is the most expensive thing!)

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 17:02

Sharing a set is likely to cause arguments

As I said, they get a big one every year that they do with their Dad, they like it and as it's supervised by DH we have yet to have any scraps. It's quite nice them working together with DH on a project tbh.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 21/12/2020 17:02

I think this is totally fine OP. Ask yourself this are the kids happy?

As long as they get something just for themselves I think it’s reasonable to share expensive things.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 17:03

Just to confirm, they do get things of their own. It's mainly 'big' things they get jointly. Like the console for example.

They got tablets last year and got one each.

OP posts:
ForeverBubblegum · 21/12/2020 17:04

I think it's fine as long as they are likely to get equal use. As a kid my (older) sister and I got a TV as a shared gift, it went in her room and I could only watch it if she invented me in, effectively she got my present budget spent on her. For the game consel, if it's kept in a communal space, and their both in into gaming then I'd say its fine. But if ones not that into gaming, and maybe been pressurised into asking for the shared gift, then that's not great.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 17:05

@ForeverBubblegum

I think it's fine as long as they are likely to get equal use. As a kid my (older) sister and I got a TV as a shared gift, it went in her room and I could only watch it if she invented me in, effectively she got my present budget spent on her. For the game consel, if it's kept in a communal space, and their both in into gaming then I'd say its fine. But if ones not that into gaming, and maybe been pressurised into asking for the shared gift, then that's not great.
Aw no I wouldn't do that. They both love gaming. It's an upgrade to a console they already share!
OP posts:
OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/12/2020 17:07

Of course it is. When mine were little and we had much less cash they got a bargain £15 sandpit/paddling pool as a joint present! 10 years later it is still in the garden and gets used to raise tadpoles in the summer.

This year they are getting a laptop as a joint present from their grandparents to do school work. Not thrilling but it isn't the only thing they will get.

Might be a bit rubbish if everything is joint but if some relatives buy joint and some individual then the kids still have some personal stuff.

AtiaoftheJulii · 21/12/2020 17:09

It's absolutely fine.

I think my parents went a bit far one year, giving me and my brother one rollerskate each Grin but for big stuff like that, not a problem at all.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 17:10

@AtiaoftheJulii

It's absolutely fine.

I think my parents went a bit far one year, giving me and my brother one rollerskate each Grin but for big stuff like that, not a problem at all.

😂😂😂 I wish I'd gotten them joint rollerskates! They never bloody used the ones they did get each anyway Grin
OP posts:
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