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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's fine for children to get joint Christmas presents

157 replies

PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 16:45

Talking to a friend who was saying she thinks children should get their own presents separate from siblings.

I think, providing they are similar ages, it's fine for children to get joint presents at Christmas.

This year their main present is joint (games console) along with some other things like Lego sets etc...

They have some separate things too but a lot of it is joint. Children very similar ages (year apart).

OP posts:
MrsHugsxx · 21/12/2020 19:22

I think the way you describe them doing it with their dad is fine to be shared between them but as long as it's not their main present and they get their own gifts to open. I think I would give Lego sets individually but if it's a tradition to do it together with their dad and it's like an extra gift, that's ok.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 21/12/2020 19:23

Mine are twins and used to share some presents and also get their own bits tailored to them. Joint things were pool table, basketball set, dolls house, Wii. It would be crazy to get double of stuff like that.

MustardMitt · 21/12/2020 19:25

YANBU.

I have twins, and every year one relative or another will fret about whether or not it's appropriate to get them a joint gift.

To be clear; one action figure between two is not. A board game between two is fine.

MustardMitt · 21/12/2020 19:26

Ha snap @BigSandyBalls2015! Grin

Vates · 21/12/2020 19:30

My Sister and I got a playstation when we about 11/12 but the problem being that she was a bitch and didn't want to share so I got dictated to how and when I could use it. I hated getting joint presents because they were her presents really and I knew I wouldn't get a look in. Parents weren't helpful as she was the favourite and my Dad just told me to 'hit her back' instead of me getting hit all the time. I adore her now (she finally matured about the age of 25, hated her personality before then) but her child is showing the same temperament she had which is worrying.

Girlyracer · 21/12/2020 19:33

I remember 2 friends who were sisters. Got a small ghetto blaster as their main present. I felt sorry for them they would have to share. Maybe their parents couldn't afford more. If she could have done I think it was a bit mean.

Marleymoo42 · 21/12/2020 19:34

Of course it's fine! My best friend was one of 5 and they always got one big joint present, even though there was a big age difference between them all. I remember one year a trampoline and one year a ping pong table. I think it's ridiculous to pander to your children because you think they'll be upset or you think they might fight. Kids are pretty adaptable. If they have to share they find a way to make it work. The problem is when they have expectations that they wont have to share.

Thesearmsofmine · 21/12/2020 19:40

It’s fine! My 3dc usually get some kind of shared present along with their own separate things. This year/ present is gravitrax, in the past it has been a dolls house, a massive hot wheels garage thing etc something they can share and will all enjoy,

Stompythedinosaur · 21/12/2020 19:48

It's fine. My dc have had joint presents every year and seem to have survived. Obviously they get some individual gifts too. They are close in age and play well together.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 21/12/2020 19:53

Games consoles, TV for shared bedrooms etc are all fine. As well as presents that will get equal use, eg trampoline for garden.
Surely nobody gives, eg chocolates or pyjamas as share presents, I would imagine it's mostly much bigger and more expensive things!

AnotherEmma · 21/12/2020 19:55

YANBU and I'm surprised at the number of people who say you are.

It makes absolute sense for big presents to be joint when they are things that can reasonably be shared and when the siblings are able to share fairly and/or the parents make sure they do so.

At Christmas they would presumably get other presents as well (stockings and presents from family etc) so it's not as if the joint present would be the only one. Plus they would get individual presents on their birthdays. So I really don't understand why some people are insisting that they must have individual gifts only and nothing shared. I find that a bit sad actually!

BackforGood · 21/12/2020 19:55

Like most.
A 'big' gift - like the console, or like a trampoline or climbing frame or pool table or whatever - is fine between them, but as a rule, I think it is nice for dc to have their own things, rather than having nothing that is their own.

RandomUsernameHere · 21/12/2020 20:02

YANBU at all. As long as they get some individual things too it's fine.

Feelinglost006 · 21/12/2020 20:24

Yes I have done this before. This year I got them a slush puppy machine and if it’s given to one there’s bound to be an argument somewhere along the line about their siblings using it to make drinks so it’s going to be addressed to them all with a note it’s to be shared.

Feelinglost006 · 21/12/2020 20:25

Obvs getting their individual things too

Dee1975 · 21/12/2020 20:50

DC very close in age and often ask for the same things so on the bigger stuff they have in the past had a joint present. And individual stuff as well of course.

HighSpecWhistle · 21/12/2020 20:53

I have twins and find it really annoying when my boys get joint presents. Yes, a console from us for example would be joint. But smaller gifts should be for the individual as they're still individual even if close in age and same gender.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 21/12/2020 20:54

Games console or trampoline but not other stuff I'd have hated that.

Heronwatcher · 21/12/2020 20:59

Depends on the kids. This would be utter hell in my house and I just know I would end up having to draw up/ enforce some kind of timetable and marshalling endless rows until the wretched thing was confiscated. I’d buy 2 sets of Lego and forget the console until I could afford 2!

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 21/12/2020 21:04

Its not an issue in our house. My DC will share most of their individual gifts anyway, and they're getting a large Frozen Duplo set which I know they'll enjoy playing with together. You know your own kids' temperaments and if they're the playing together kind or not.

PetertheWalrus · 21/12/2020 21:44

My DSis has twin boys. She had drummed it into all the family. "Get one EACH and FFS make sure they're identical!" YABU.

Twobrews · 21/12/2020 21:44

I envy those of you who have children who happily share consoles. I tried it, the bickering and sulking drove me insane. Now Disney dad furnishes them both with one

Mine would be no better off with a console each as they only have access to one TV.

Lillyhatesjaz · 21/12/2020 21:47

Things like games consoles have always been family items in our house not given to either child and we all shared.
I mostly gave individual presents at Christmas but my DS and DD have always got on really well together so most things were shared when they were younger anyway.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 21:48

@Twobrews

I envy those of you who have children who happily share consoles. I tried it, the bickering and sulking drove me insane. Now Disney dad furnishes them both with one

Mine would be no better off with a console each as they only have access to one TV.

Ditto. I'm not setting them up with TVs each and all the rest of it 😂 personally think it's a bit much getting them a games console and TV each. When are children supposed to learn to share anything or play nicely together? 🤔

Our two play two player games a lot anyway so they can both play at the same time anyway. It's very rare that they actually have to take turns with it.

OP posts:
PaxMalmKallax · 21/12/2020 21:49

I have twins and have always avoided joint presents. The one and only time was a PS4. My BIL has never understood why it’s so important - doesn’t seem to understand they are separate people.

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