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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's fine for children to get joint Christmas presents

157 replies

PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 16:45

Talking to a friend who was saying she thinks children should get their own presents separate from siblings.

I think, providing they are similar ages, it's fine for children to get joint presents at Christmas.

This year their main present is joint (games console) along with some other things like Lego sets etc...

They have some separate things too but a lot of it is joint. Children very similar ages (year apart).

OP posts:
hm246 · 22/12/2020 08:40

I’m one of 3, we always got some joint Christmas presents. DVDs, CDs we all would like. Me and my sister shared a room so we had a lot of joint presents.

AnotherEmma · 22/12/2020 09:08

I think some of the responses on this thread just reveal that many mumsnetters are in their privileged little bubble, passing judgment on anyone who doesn't buy 2+ of everything for their children, not even bothering to consider that not everyone can afford it. Never mind the simple fact that it's good for children to practise sharing sometimes!

They don't need extra individual Lego sets in addition to the large, expensive Lego set they are going to share and enjoy making together with their dad. 🙄

BettyOBarley · 22/12/2020 09:09

I've done a few joint ones, mainly board games and craft items that they'll use together.

AnotherEmma · 22/12/2020 09:09

Ps And it's not just whether you can afford to spend the money, it's whether you choose to. Perhaps OP has an extra £80 but would prefer to spend it on something else to benefit herself or her family rather than pointlessly spending it on an identical item.

2Rebecca · 22/12/2020 10:07

Large lego sets are often limiting once you have built them though. If they will play with them after building them for weeks and ask for large lego sets then fine but mine had more Playmobil that was more playable with and even then only if they really wanted it as it cost a fortune

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 22/12/2020 10:12

My kids like the large Lego sets 😂 that wasn't what I was asking. They like doing them with their dad and they like displaying them in their room. They will then take them down and put it with all the other Lego at some point. I wasn't asking for opinions on whether Lego sets are fun or limiting. My kids like them and they like doing them with their Dad which obviously some people find absolutely crazy and it must be more for DH 😂

The question was whether they needed one each.

OP posts:
HitthatroadJack · 22/12/2020 10:17

@AnotherEmma

I think some of the responses on this thread just reveal that many mumsnetters are in their privileged little bubble, passing judgment on anyone who doesn't buy 2+ of everything for their children, not even bothering to consider that not everyone can afford it. Never mind the simple fact that it's good for children to practise sharing sometimes!

They don't need extra individual Lego sets in addition to the large, expensive Lego set they are going to share and enjoy making together with their dad. 🙄

have you seen the price of the set the OP is talking about?

You can buy individual sets and still have some cash left if you are not financially comfortable.

Anyone struggling financially would specifically not buy a set to be made by dad but would get actual toys for the kids Grin

HitthatroadJack · 22/12/2020 10:18

My kids like them and they like doing them with their Dad which obviously some people find absolutely crazy and it must be more for DH

as you buy a "family" set and not a present for each kid, it's a reasonable comment.

Most kids do legos with their mums or dads, but the set are not bought as a family gift.

Strawberrypancakes · 22/12/2020 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 22/12/2020 10:21

Anyone struggling financially would specifically not buy a set to be made by dad but would get actual toys for the kids

I don't understand why people are struggling to grasp that my kids like doing it with their Dad. It is not for DH for goodness sake.

We did it one year with a big dragon set and they loved it. They literally beg him to do it with them now every time they get one and spend hours sitting with him doing it on a rainy day. They like it. I'm not sure what's so difficult for people to understand?

Poor DH is roped into it every year not the other way round 😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 22/12/2020 10:22

@HitthatroadJack

My kids like them and they like doing them with their Dad which obviously some people find absolutely crazy and it must be more for DH

as you buy a "family" set and not a present for each kid, it's a reasonable comment.

Most kids do legos with their mums or dads, but the set are not bought as a family gift.

It's not a reasonable comment when I've said several times now that my kids like the family sets and doing them with their Dad.

Your kids maybe don't, cool. My kids do.

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 22/12/2020 10:25

Year apart from my sister - every Christmas was about what she wanted and I had to share! Never did share!

One year I took a stand and my mother was horrified I hated the joint presents.

I have twins - they have their own gifts abs own birthday parties and their own cakes.

I will no inflict joint presents on my children

If it’s not a problem for you why are you asking?

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 22/12/2020 10:27

If it’s not a problem for you why are you asking?

I've no problem with people sharing their opinions on the actual subject of the thread which was whether joint presents are okay.

My problem is with people continuing to insist that Lego sets are X Y or Z, not enjoyable, must be for DH and so on when I've explained already that my kids like them and that they aren't for my husband. I wasn't asking for people's opinions on Lego.

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 22/12/2020 10:29

I'm a big fan of joint presents. My DDs are three years apart and always get several joint presents alongside their individual ones. It encourages them to play together and share. This year they have a Hubelino marble run and some board games to play with together.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 22/12/2020 10:30

I do agree that if a present is more for one child than the other like some PPs have given examples of, it being what one of them have asked for and not the other, TV to go in one or their rooms etc... Then I wouldn't get joint in that scenario.

I would only get joint if they would both genuinely like what it is and play it together.

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 22/12/2020 10:33

And I see no problem with Lego as a joint present. How is it and different than sitting and doing a puzzle together? We build Duplo sets with ours, and they take it in turns to find pieces and put them together.

MasterBeth · 22/12/2020 10:35

I refuse to listen to anyone in this argument who calls Lego Legos.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 22/12/2020 10:35

My two are getting a joint slide from their grandparents this year. They have a budget they spend on each and combined it added up to the cost of a slide. Seemed a better use of the budget as they will get a lot of use out of it and they have more than enough individual smaller presents

HitthatroadJack · 22/12/2020 11:08

the issue is not really a joint present, I don't know many families who bought a trampoline per child (actually I don't know any).

It's more than legos are a weird choice as a family gift and most posters wouldn't buy legos as a joint present. The OP asked....

AnotherEmma · 22/12/2020 11:10

@MasterBeth

I refuse to listen to anyone in this argument who calls Lego Legos.
Hahaha this!

DH calls them Legos and I have to fight the urge to correct him!

TheySayHurray · 22/12/2020 11:12

It's more than legos are a weird choice as a family gift and most posters wouldn't buy legos as a joint present. The OP asked....

That is absolutely not what was asked.... At all.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/12/2020 11:12

Not something I've ever done but I have a 4 year age gap. A games console for example would make sense.

Nowaynothappening · 22/12/2020 11:14

Absolutely fine. My older three are 8, 9 and 10 so I’ve bought many joint gifts over the years. Examples this year are board games and a den kit. Obviously have their own separate gifts too but a few joint gifts. My younger two are 5 months and 2 so they have a couple of joint ones too.

GruffyLove · 22/12/2020 11:15

My mum has got my 2 DDs large Lego friends set it was about £90! In fact both my girls said they wanted that Lego set and would share it!!

Kids need to share! They’ve got lots of individual presents.

NotOfThisWorld · 22/12/2020 11:20

Surely this just dependson the kids and their personalities. If they will both enjoy a console and be able to share it equally why not? They would probably prefer to share a good console than have two lower quality gifts. Personally I'd always buy individual pressies too, they are their own individuals and will have separate interests too and like the personal thought that goes into their own gift.