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Original poster

To think it's fine for children to get joint Christmas presents

157 replies

PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 16:45

Talking to a friend who was saying she thinks children should get their own presents separate from siblings.

I think, providing they are similar ages, it's fine for children to get joint presents at Christmas.

This year their main present is joint (games console) along with some other things like Lego sets etc...

They have some separate things too but a lot of it is joint. Children very similar ages (year apart).

OP posts:
ThrowThoseCurtainsWide · 21/12/2020 17:14

My two get a mixture. Things like games consoles would be joint, but potentially they would get a game each for it. Mine are 16months apart so into the same sort of stuff. Their main present this year is giant construction blocks (think Lego, but each brick is a foot long!) And that will be shared. Although I'm going to wrap them a few bricks each to unwrap. Oh and there's always a shared board game, but also smaller individual presents. DD is getting an art set and DS wants an origami set and some stomp rockets.

Foldinthecheese · 21/12/2020 17:14

I think it’s fine. We have twins and they are each getting some things they have asked for, and then some board games and building sets to share. It actually cuts down on the arguments because I know they’ll both want to play them, and it takes away that element of needing to ask the other for permission if we try to split them up.

Sparklehead · 21/12/2020 17:19

I have 3DC and often get them something joint as well as individual presents. We’ve bought a games console this year as a main joint present. Also a microscope and a board game. It makes sense to me as they are things they will play with together/all enjoy. They get various other bits individually. I tend to do Lego sets individually but like your idea of a big set as a family project. Merry Christmas!

lillylemons · 21/12/2020 17:23

I see no issue with joint presents I wish my kids were of similar ages to get some joint gifts would save some money.

When we were younger we used to get joint gifts one year we got a full-size pool table, another year we got a tv for our room. We still got our own presents aswell

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 21/12/2020 17:32

A games console yes. Board games yes. But I wouldn’t give Lego sets joint. I would make most of the presents individual. Even if they end up sharing, I’d still want them to start out with their own gifts. In my view it dilutes the sense of excitement/specialness If the lion’s share of presents are joint.

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 17:38

Joint lego set is weird, sorry.

Game console, trampoline, a dog.. fine. It's more a family present in that way

The lego set sounds more like a gift for their dad than for them!

Catmum39 · 21/12/2020 17:43

My two are having a piano as a joint present this year. They are both learning to play and both want one but we haven't got the space for 1each! Besides, they cost a fortune and our budget wouldn't stretch that far!

IndieRo · 21/12/2020 17:45

My 2 Dd's are getting a PlayStation 4 between them and also getting their own seperate gifts.

LindaEllen · 21/12/2020 17:58

Big presents are fine to share. My brother and I always got joint presents for the garden, like a trampoline and a swing set etc. There were a few years between us but we could both make the most of them, and there are some things that it just doesn't make sense not to share.

I knew two girls up the road though, and literally everything they got had to be shared. There was only 6 months between them (they were fostered but later adopted) and it never seemed to bother either of them. I guess considering the households they'd come from, this was magical in comparison.

Twobrews · 21/12/2020 18:10

I think it's fine in the situation you've described.
It would be a bit weird to get two playhouses or two climbing frames but equally odd to get a joint bicycle or an action figure.
When my younger sister received an N64 for Christmas I was given a game for it rather than it being a properly shared present. That was crap as it went in her room so she had full control.

Northernsoullover · 21/12/2020 18:16

I envy those of you who have children who happily share consoles. I tried it, the bickering and sulking drove me insane. Now Disney dad furnishes them both with one

MasterBeth · 21/12/2020 18:20

Sharing a set is likely to cause arguments.

I despair! Be a parent! Teach them that sharing is not a reason for arguments and the fear of arguments is not a reason to stop doing reasonable things.

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 18:25

@MasterBeth

Sharing a set is likely to cause arguments.

I despair! Be a parent! Teach them that sharing is not a reason for arguments and the fear of arguments is not a reason to stop doing reasonable things.

but you are talking about legos.

Yes, you can buy a set, but the whole point is to do your own thing with it at some point. You don't have to follow the instructions to the letter, if you want to build a ship with your dragon set, you should.

Sounds pointless to have an expensive set you build with daddy once, and then you are no longer allowed to touch after.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 21/12/2020 18:25

Why are people saying that the joint Lego set is a bad idea? The OP has explained that this arrangement works well for her children.

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 18:28

Why are people saying that the joint Lego set is a bad idea?

because the OP asked for their opinion?

tashac89 · 21/12/2020 18:29

My older 2 have a console between them and my younger 2 have a lego set that is enormous and cost the same amount. Everything else is individual presents, but we always have a couple of joint also, never been any problems with sharing.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 21/12/2020 18:29

With Lego it would depend on how the children play. Mine like their own sets to build, but then combining them to play. One likes following the instructions and keeps them like that.. One likes adapting the sets once built to make new stuff. Having their own sets definitely reduces arguements.
Other stuff they share.

Norwester · 21/12/2020 18:31

This works for your family. There is no problem - everyone's happy. It may be different when they are older, but for now, don't go solving a problem that doesn't exist.

Countdowntonothing · 21/12/2020 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amerimoon · 21/12/2020 18:37

I don’t like joint presents for mine generally, I just think it’s more special for them to have something for themselves! The shared items, such as the climbing frame in the garden, have been bought for them not as a present. Just like the TV in our lounge is shared by us all and isn’t a present to anyone. Their Christmas and birthday presents are just for them.

Original poster
PeterPickerPacker · 21/12/2020 18:47

The lego set sounds more like a gift for their dad than for them!

Totally appreciate everyone's opinion on whether or not they'd do the Lego jointly or not but can't say I understand where this has come from?

They do it with DH because they enjoy doing it with him, I didn't say it was his idea or his thing... Confused he does it with them because they like doing it! and DH hates Harry Potter 😂

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 21/12/2020 18:50

Mine are 5 years apart but I still get them joint presents - usually board games or sweet treats to share. They have always been very happy with them.

UndertheCedartree · 21/12/2020 19:04

Joint Lego sounds fine to me. My DD likes to build her sets with someone else (usually me) and then once built she likes to play with it with someone so if she had a sibling close enough in age and who were into the same Lego sets I think she would be fine with it being joint.

RememberSelfCompassion · 21/12/2020 19:06

Do they get their own lego sets too/at other times?

I doubt mine would complain at sharing lego but they'd enjoy it far more if it was their own!

sortmylifeoutplease · 21/12/2020 19:12

I do joint and separate things for two of my dc that are just over a year apart. It's always been fine. They play together a lot.

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