Thoughtless gifts

[MrsHugsxx]

Fully expecting to be told I am unreasonable on this one but would like others thoughts. We met up with my mil yesterday and exchanged presents and opened them after she left. Now I will say I am not materialistic at all. I like nice things but I'm not obsessed by it and I know that some people don't have a lot of money. I'm not flushed myself.
I received a deodorant wrapped up and my DH received a pair of socks. The kids each all received a card game and eldest DS got a toy car. None of these gifts were age appropriate or had any thought put into them. It is not about the money but it has just annoyed me I suppose that she has just picked up the cheapest things she's seen and thought " that'll do". Again it's not about the money, but the thought that goes into giving gifts that I think is important.
We didn't spend a lot on her, we got her a bottle of the alcohol she likes and a couple of little things that we know she likes. But she must have known that the gifts she got us were unsuitable. Reading this back I know how I come across, but honestly, she's their nan. It made me feel as though she doesn't care. It's the thoughtlessness that bothered me, not the lack of an expensive gift.

@FiFia

I agree it’s crap & disappointing for your children. I’d tell her not to bother next year. I once received a handbag holder. You clip it onto a table when your out & hang your bag off it, I was 21

Omg I did not know this was a thing. I would love that - especially when I was young. I hate putting my bags on the floor. That’s a brilliant present!

I would be happy with socks as it’s something I can use but deodorant is a pretty shit gift unless your gifting a lynx set to a teenage boy.

My mum often gives me useless gifts for Christmas, she does try and put thought into it but not enough thought, last year she got me fleecy pj’s from primark, I’m happy with pj’s but my house is boiling and fleecy pj’s are just going to make me sweat, and they are a size too big. She’s also gifted me tea towels in the past (useful but a bit boring). She often gifts me food too when I’m on a diet.

I would rather people asked me what I would like or give me a voucher/cash.

@Jenasaurus

My Ex got me a toilet seat for christmas one year as he noticed a crack in my old one. It was our first christmas and previously he was a romantic type so this was a shock, my grown up DC had a good laugh when I opened it though so it gave them some amusement. It didnt even fit the loo as ours was rectangle and this was a bog standard bog shape :)

That is priceless

Ooo my husband's gran bought a pack of 3 socks and gave one pair to him, one to his dad and to a cousin. One had been left with the label on saying it was a pack of 3. They were so thin, they ripped when they were first put on!

I got some deodrant from my grandma once as a teenager for Christmas. I still wonder if she was trying to tell me something.

Are the boots 3 for 2 things really that awful?

I try to get thoughtful things but it can be difficult when there a lot of people to buy for. This year I'm only buying for very close family and DD, but boots is usually a go to if I'm buying a token gift for someone. I actually got 3 things from there for one of my relatives this year, along with some other little bits, but I tried to get things I thought he'd like rather than 3 lynx gift sets!

@onwheels

the presents do sound random, lack of care and unsuitable!

Or her inappropriate choices might be an early indication of dementia.

Deodorant.

Maybe she thinks you smell. My Mil gifts me cash but also makes me a little stocking she puts in pants always 3 sizes too small for me, a calender that I never use, a diary but I use my phone and a few other bits. I just pass the pants on to my sister and throw awAy diary and calendar. I wonder if she gets me things she likes.

And I quite like when people buy me nice socks as I never seem to have any! Wouldn't be so keen on a single deodorant though!

A rape alarm. I was 12.

Is she getting on a bit? I mention it because as my MIL aged her gifts became more and more random. One year she gave my teenage sons a paint your own umbrella and a Barbie doll!

I wouldn't mind socks (I'm always losing them!), card games sound ok. But deodorant?! That's a bit of an odd one, unless she is trying to tell you something

@2bazookas that’s what I was thinking.

We don’t see brother / SIL anymore but she always got the first thing, which fell into her hands... that’s when she finally had the conscience to buy us something. She would pick any random probably from Lidl or Aldi when they appeared on the shelves - basic gloves, socks or scarfs etc. Neither she nor my brother were embarrassed when we arrived with £50 well thought out gifts each and they bought us nothing. Even when I got the message of what cheap skates they decided to be I couldn’t bring myself to buy them such shit. She wasn’t working and childless so the gift buying was left to her. Brother wasn’t great before they got together. But not this dire. The message from day one being we are not important.

Someone asked up thread if it was a single sure roll on or a Dove gift set. Also wondering this

My brother got a tube of nicely-wrapped toothpaste one year. His face was a picture. We had an aunt who used to buy everyone really cheap horrible editions of 'children's classics'. Ivanhoe, two years running. To this day, I've never read bloody Ivanhoe!

An auntie and uncle bought us a royal family tree one year. We thought it was so funny and it hung in the downstairs loo for a while! My brother in law got a half used bottle of dandruff shampoo from his mother for christmas one year. She likes the car boot sales

I know of one person who buys one gift for a family of 4 adults who meet up on Christmas but don't live together. It sort of is an annual puzzle - who takes the gift home with them. Seriously - why bother insulting people like that, just don't give anything if you only see 4 individuals as one person!

People buy us stuff we don't want or need and we do the same in return. I wish we could end this pointless present giving shite!

Panicking now as I have put toiletries and socks in DP's stocking and yes there's a beautifully wrapped L'Oreal deodorant in there...

@MrsRogerLima be glad she thought enough of you to put a coin in. If you gift an empty purse you are cursing the recipient to poverty! I can never give an empty purse but don't want to cause offense with putting one random coin in, so I only ever buy a purse for my mum. She's never take money from me normally but a coin in a purse is a must!

MrsKoala lots of places sell them, etsy etc

They’re like this, or that was the kind I have

tinyurl.com/ybcou9nb

@Tipster100

My mother bought my 3 month old baby a tea towel for Xmas. She thought she might like the pretty picture on it.

I got a fire extinguisher.

I love that one!!! Someone in a post further back said they set fire to a tea towel gift. Are you two related? One Christmas I bought myself a nice gift (wearable) and went back to the store to buy a second one the same for a female relative as I thought she would really like it. She gave it back to me 2 years later and had obviously forgotten where it came from while rooting through her stuff to re-gift to people. I was really disappointed but said nothing. Re-gifting should be a criminal offence if it is far too obvious.

My in-laws were always consistent and gave us a £10 note in an envelope to be shared between the five of us. That’s better than a deodorant I suppose, at least we could choose what we spent our £2 on!