Thoughtless gifts

[MrsHugsxx]

Fully expecting to be told I am unreasonable on this one but would like others thoughts. We met up with my mil yesterday and exchanged presents and opened them after she left. Now I will say I am not materialistic at all. I like nice things but I'm not obsessed by it and I know that some people don't have a lot of money. I'm not flushed myself.
I received a deodorant wrapped up and my DH received a pair of socks. The kids each all received a card game and eldest DS got a toy car. None of these gifts were age appropriate or had any thought put into them. It is not about the money but it has just annoyed me I suppose that she has just picked up the cheapest things she's seen and thought " that'll do". Again it's not about the money, but the thought that goes into giving gifts that I think is important.
We didn't spend a lot on her, we got her a bottle of the alcohol she likes and a couple of little things that we know she likes. But she must have known that the gifts she got us were unsuitable. Reading this back I know how I come across, but honestly, she's their nan. It made me feel as though she doesn't care. It's the thoughtlessness that bothered me, not the lack of an expensive gift.

Some gifts are so shit that you just have to laugh. Make it a joke: guess each year what shit gift she’s got you, prize for shittest.

Cooking chocolate? I got a big block when I was about 6 and thought it was fantastic.
I had not aquired my taste for Hotel Chocolat at that age although I suspect cooking chocolate then was better than Cadbury's is now.

@pilates

Sorry but some of these presents are making me chuckle, cooking chocolate 😂

It made me chuckle too. I was so lucky to have a fab MIL, who I loved very much.

I got given a bucket containing about 8 sweets.

YABVU to open Christmas presents before Christmas!

The deodorant is awful, but I like socks, personally, as long as they're not cheap and nasty.

Maybe you could both suggest no presents next year? It seems like an awful waste of money.

@Topseyt

A deodorant!!!

I'm very happy with most things as gifts (don't like toiletry sets though, but accept graciously), but deodorant is a dreadful gift and would annoy me.

The other gifts you describe are equally shit.

But Lynx gift sets are the Mumsnet go to for the teen boy

I don't agree- it is crap- my DS got 14 sets one year (Some people gave him 2 as birthday is at Christmas) - I buy his deodorant as part of the weekly shop. So £150 worth of crap from relatives. He also hate lynx.

She is a nice person but I think she is quite absent as a mother and grandmother and always has been and her presents are a reflection of that and it's just annoyed me probably more than it should.

My mum who is utterly lovely went through a long phase of buying me “useful” things for Christmas, some of which were bog standard shower gels and deodorants, straightening sprays etc all individually wrapped! I never let it show but my heart used to sink when I saw the familiar shaped packages under the tree. There were so many of them, it was hard to know where to store them!

Those are dreadful gifts OP!! I hope you continue her “don’t give a shit attitude” for any future gifts you give her.

My MIL is a narcissistic cow. FIL is also very very wealthy. A few years ago, I received a £25 Victoria’s Secret voucher (I’m in my 40’s and wouldn’t ever go there) and a book about how to decorate your house nicely. So bloody funny. She did it to be nasty whilst also looking generous, as the gifts were beautifully wrapped. It just makes me and my sister laugh though, as we have a bet each year about the horrible cow 😂

As an aside, I got an email from Escentuals today featuring last minute Christmas gifts under £15 and one of them was a Clarins men's deodorant for £14 which I thought would be a terrible gift.

When I was 5 my uncle bought me a Doberman puppy. It bit everything, including me. My mother made him take it back.

I like cooking chocolate.

My MIL got me every year a jar of wrinkle cream (I am 8 years older than her son). When the kids were old enough to notice they asked her why. That year she bought me a magnifying mirror, ostensibly to look at my wrinkles. 🤣🤣🤣

I once got a used purse with a 2p in it from an ex bf grandmother.

Why did you open the presents before Christmas Day? (They might have proved hilarious after some breakfast Pimms and a mid-morning sherry ...)

Deodorant though ...

Can't get past the fact that you all opened your presents before Christmas Day.

One year my mum gave my fully bearded DH an aftershave set, and me (brunette) a John Frida Brilliantly Blonde shampoo. That was the year after she'd given us a poundland Santa sack filled with left over tins of cheap lager that we'd specifically asked her not to buy for our wedding; and the year before she gave DH four crime novels by my ex's favourite author.

She's lovely, but - like me - not great at gifts.

We got loo descaling blocks one Christmas. (Along with a selection of marginally less weird things like shower caps.)

My dgran got us some odd presents at various time.
I remember when dsis opened her present to find a book of fairy tales. I think she was 15yo at the time, for example.
I don't think it showed anything except she wasn't particularly good at assessing presents for us.

Some of these are

Not ashamed to admit, however, that I have once or twice weaponised Christmas shopping to present an enemy with something hugely extravagant that just very gently snubs them ...

My granny did this. When I was little (when she was in her late 60s) the gifts were quite good/appropriate. Ten years later it was things like freebie branded pens and jar openers. She wasn’t selfish, or unloving, and she was fine to live independently for many more years. But present buying, as something that only happens once a year (so you don’t get much practice, and people’s ages and needs change every time) and which can be stressful for anyone, had just got a bit much.

So I wouldn’t be inclined to read too much into it.

Blimey. Mine's sent me and DH £100...I count myself very lucky

My mother bought my 3 month old baby a tea towel for Xmas. She thought she might like the pretty picture on it.

I got a fire extinguisher.

(my MIL)

It's just rude. I would rather receive no gift at all than something so thoughtless and cheap.

I would tell her next year not to bother doing gifts - if she can't be bothered to put the effort in then she shouldn't bother to fill your house with useless tat.