Thoughtless gifts

[MrsHugsxx]

Fully expecting to be told I am unreasonable on this one but would like others thoughts. We met up with my mil yesterday and exchanged presents and opened them after she left. Now I will say I am not materialistic at all. I like nice things but I'm not obsessed by it and I know that some people don't have a lot of money. I'm not flushed myself.
I received a deodorant wrapped up and my DH received a pair of socks. The kids each all received a card game and eldest DS got a toy car. None of these gifts were age appropriate or had any thought put into them. It is not about the money but it has just annoyed me I suppose that she has just picked up the cheapest things she's seen and thought " that'll do". Again it's not about the money, but the thought that goes into giving gifts that I think is important.
We didn't spend a lot on her, we got her a bottle of the alcohol she likes and a couple of little things that we know she likes. But she must have known that the gifts she got us were unsuitable. Reading this back I know how I come across, but honestly, she's their nan. It made me feel as though she doesn't care. It's the thoughtlessness that bothered me, not the lack of an expensive gift.

Why have you opened the presents now? It's not Christmas Day.

My late MIL used to buy shit presents - she was very religious and used to buy the children framed bible verses, and I once got a lovely slanket (blanket with sleeves in) that still had the 'free gift with your order' sticker on the packaging. But we all loved her and her presents would be treated with respect and a wry smile - although the bible verses may have made their way to a charity shop eventually

😂😂😂 My stepdaughter gave me a little Greek urn which had obviously been something she didn’t want. The little sticker on the bottom said “not suitable for holding liquid”. So, a 3” pot that you couldn’t put anything in which was all dusty inside.

@mummyof2lou

A relative got my husband an executive ball scratcher....as we presented them with a champagne afternoon tea for two voucher at a nice venue. Awks...

Oh my god! I'm cringing at this!

My mil loves spending money but doesn't put thought in to it. When ds was little, I asked for a nice blanket for him. She couldn't find one she liked so instead brought a rug, a picnic blanket, bed sheets and a throw. She must have spent £100 but non of it was useful. Another year dh and I got a whole bag of kitchen bits she'd found in tk max because they were cheap. Every single item went straight to the charity shop.
Thankfully we have a very good relationship and I now ask her to give me the money and I will sort everyones present out. The dc are much happier.

@RelightMyPfizer
Buying teenage boys a lynx gift set is a terrible present as most teenage boys get their deodorant (which may be Lynx in some cases) bought and paid for by their parents. Honestly it is no different to buying them a loaf of bread or a bus ticket for the journey to school.

Who opens presents before Xmas?!

When my (now ex) husband and l were in our mid 30s, our Christmas present from his brother and his wife was an Animal Rescue annual.
I still have no idea wtf they were thinking.

[quote StatisticalSense]@RelightMyPfizer
Buying teenage boys a lynx gift set is a terrible present as most teenage boys get their deodorant (which may be Lynx in some cases) bought and paid for by their parents. Honestly it is no different to buying them a loaf of bread or a bus ticket for the journey to school.[/quote]
I agree- they wouldn't give a girl Tampax

But we had almost 7 years of the Lynx, Jack Wills, bulldog? deodorant sets. Boots 3 for 2 specials.

1 year we played the guess the set without opening it game. It was actually quite good fun.

Well the deodorant is crap and a bit insulting but what's wrong with a toy car and card games? These seem like perfectly reasonable gifts for children. Socks are a bit boring but will be useful.

I could do with some new tea towels, I have a habit of grabbing one to dry off my three cats when they come in wet furred, then I keep the cat drying towels in a box for the next dry off..

My brother got those Lynx gift sets for years! He is hard to buy for, and Wilko used to reduce them to about £2.50, so my grandma and random aunts and uncles would snap them up.

The female equivalents of this that were given to me are Bayliss & Harding, Dove, Simple and Impulse sets. I don't mind the simple ones, because at least they don't give me allergies. The rest gets given to the charity shop or foodbank type collections.

My horrible MIL once gave me a really lovely box of chocs from Harrods for Christmas!! I was so chuffed and thought I must have got her all wrong and that she didn't actually despise me for 'stealing' her son. The following year we went up again at Christmas and she brought out the very same box of chocolates for us to share saying she got given them every year by someone she worked for and thought they were horrible. I went straight back to hating her after that!
If your MIL is nice I'd just make a joke of the presents and not think too much of it, my great gran always used to buy my mum these really horrid moccasin slippers and we always knew what the present was and thought it was hilarious. If she's not nice - well it's just more proof of the fact!!

@Tipster100

My mother bought my 3 month old baby a tea towel for Xmas. She thought she might like the pretty picture on it.

I got a fire extinguisher.

This has proper made me laugh! A fire extinguisher!

If this is out of the ordinary, has she done anything else a bit peculiar recently? How old is she?
Has she had a decline in her health recently/ since covid? Could it be that she’s got underlying memory issues and this is one of the signs that things have deteriorated recently?
I hope she’s just being inconsiderate and not putting thought into gifts that she’s buying but this can sometimes be an indication of something else if there are other changes too.

@MrsRogerLima

I once got a used purse with a 2p in it from an ex bf grandmother.

It might not have been used. My Nan said you should never give a purse without cash in it so would always put 10p in a purse if it was a present. I used to wonder why until she told me.

Some kind of good luck superstition.

My Ex got me a toilet seat for christmas one year as he noticed a crack in my old one. It was our first christmas and previously he was a romantic type so this was a shock, my grown up DC had a good laugh when I opened it though so it gave them some amusement. It didnt even fit the loo as ours was rectangle and this was a bog standard bog shape :)

A bottle of gin from a friend who knew I can’t drink alcohol due to medication after a nervous breakdown last year. She keeps saying just one won’t hurt

@Helpmyhair2019

A bottle of gin from a friend who knew I can’t drink alcohol due to medication after a nervous breakdown last year. She keeps saying just one won’t hurt

Bloody hell. With friends like that who needs enemies? Does she have a drink problem herself?

The gifts that I presume to be a bit crap are opened early so as not to put me in a shitty mood on Christmas morning!

A deodorant 😂 no wonder you're pissed off!

Next year buy her a bar of soap

Be thankful u have a gift...I haven't received a birthday or Xmas gift from my father for years...

so far the cooking chocolate and the deoderant are contenders.....I raise you a second hand paper back entitled " How to keep Your House Clean"

She likes a drink and keeps saying I’m not the same person I was any more as I can’t drink. No, I’m not the same person after my breakdown but I am just happy to be alive! Time to make new friends I agree!

Some people just aren't very good with presents and get kind of flustered by it. I think it can be hard to understand if you like buying presents and are fairly good at it, but it does send some people into a tailspin.

I never used to get gift lists for weddings much until I understood about this and that they genuinely make life easier and less stressful for a lot of people.

BIL/SIL got me a plastic 'lazy susan' with six bags of Cheddars last year. BIL then ate half. I've also had B&M bargains Mint jelly and apple sauce set, an umbrella that changes colour when it gets wet, and a red towel with glittery 'christmas' on.
DH got a tshirt with a santa body on last year.
MIL used to buy me pan scrubs.
We've said no presents this year. Kids only.