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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘ You have had your time ‘ ... WTF

335 replies

Glitterzzz · 20/12/2020 17:35

Hello!

Back story

When I met my now husband in 2013 I had a dark plum red hair colour ( will try to attach a pic ) around 2017 I dropped it to black then brown and now with the new year coming in feeling inspired to lose some weight and bring back that colour ..

I told him this morning over breakfast and he responded with ‘ you have had your time ‘ ... I’m 37.

Is there some kind of unsaid fashion rule regarding hair colours and age //.

Is that how he sees me ?! As someone who has had their time !!! I’m
Younger than him !

OP posts:

Thread gallery

SupremeCommanderTrinityRhino · 21/12/2020 19:05

He sounds a right grump. I'm 42 and about to rebleach and the dye my hair bright pink for about the 700 hundredth time

MillieVanilla · 21/12/2020 19:06

Your hair colour choice isn't the issue
Your DP is
Your hair. Your choice. I could dye mine bright green with yellow spots and DP wouldn't care.

honeybee88 · 21/12/2020 19:07

I am shocked! He needs educating. I am over tp and planning blue hair soon....peacock actually. I would wait for him to say something about himself and say it back to him! Like buying a sportscar....having a haircut even....haha

honeybee88 · 21/12/2020 19:07

50 not tp

flowersWB · 21/12/2020 19:09

This will be unpopular but it's just an opinion that I fully expect to be ignored if you choose. That shade of red is beautiful on people with great skin. If you are less blessed in that area (me) then it really highlights all the flaws. Going lighter however is a winner. This doesn't necessarily mean blonde or highlights. Just any shades lighter than your natural one. It's anti-aging and often very flattering. But equal to these thoughts is my belief that you should do whatever you want to your own hair!!

Brockaslass · 21/12/2020 19:13

Tell him I'm 39 and have rainbow hair. You do what you like and aid the miser. It's your hair.

numberoneson · 21/12/2020 19:15

I'm 67 and wear blue, pink, lavender and green hair when I feel like a little bit of extrovertism ;-) My late husband preferred my natural siver grey but he would never have dreampt of telling me to stop colouring it. It suited me, made me feel good and why should only young girls/women have all the fun? You go for it, and I agree with an above poster - start calling him Grandpa! He has after all got Grandpa's outdated ideas! Happy Christmas xx

Plussizejumpsuit · 21/12/2020 19:16

He's being rude and redic!

jasjones · 21/12/2020 19:17

My mother in law is in her 70s and she dyes her hair plum all the time. During lockdown she had to do a DIY job and it came out flourecent purple. She pulled it off all the same. So I'd say no, nobody should dictate to you what your hair should look like. Just for him havi g said that you should cut it into a mohawk.

LILLYPRINT · 21/12/2020 19:22

What an awful thing to say. He obviuosly does'nt realise how hurtfull he is being. I agree with the earlier comment, the colour looks fantastic.

retired60 · 21/12/2020 19:22

For his Christmas ID get him Vick for his old chest.

Vitamins for the elderly.
A walking stick (cheap in the charity shops)
And start speaking loudly so that he can hear you.
Telling him it’s bed time.
Ask if he needs a hand walking upstairs.
Also asking others if he takes sugar?
Show him what it’s like to be called old. Introduce him as your older husband.
What a cheeky man.

shewhomustbeEbayed · 21/12/2020 19:23

Sounds like he might be thinking that you looked like that when you were single and he was attracted by you, who might you attract again ? Is he threatened by it ?

Shell4429 · 21/12/2020 19:27

Utterly ridiculous of your OH. My eldest son is three years older than you and I have dyed blonde hair that I sometimes colour pink or purple with a toner. I certainly don’t feel like I’ve had my time! I was only saying yesterday how fantastic some women look in their fifties and sixties, such a contrast to the beige twinset, pearls and short curly hair women of that age used to have when I was a child. You’re never too old to have whatever hair colour you want. The comment he made sounds bitchy, maybe he resents the fact you’re younger.

Max14165 · 21/12/2020 19:36

I’m 55 and have just had my hair dyed Merlot red at the back and a Christmas red at the front ..guess I look like a glass of mulled wine .. go for whatever you feel happy with !!! Sod anyone else !

hope153 · 21/12/2020 19:45

Tell him .. he has had his time ... no more sex .. yep .. job done !

jagoda · 21/12/2020 19:53

I was just going to say your hair colour is really nice, but then I recognised your user name.....

What's the point of these repeated threads about your horrible life with your nasty husband? I really hope at some point you get the strength to address your situation.

QueenOfCakeandCoffee · 21/12/2020 20:13

You e inspired me to dye my hair purple, I’ve had it in draw for months thinking about it

ellyeth · 21/12/2020 20:16

That's really quite a passive aggressive comment. I'm 70 and I don't believe I've "had my time". I would consider such as remark to be totally ridiculous when directed at a 37 year old.

LatinMumof2 · 21/12/2020 20:27

It's your hair, do what makes you feel good! I'm LOTS older than you and now work totally and permanently from home on my own so hardly have to have a conventional look. In a moment of fed up with covid, I told my partner I might dye my hair purple. He looked horrified, I genuinely dont care! If I still feel like doing it in a month or so, and salons are open, then I will!
The plum looks beautiful btw

80sballetgirl · 21/12/2020 20:35

I’m 53 - went purple this year! Do whatever you want!!!

Mumoftwo1990 · 21/12/2020 20:35

@Glitterzzz

Hello!

Back story

I told him this morning over breakfast and he responded with ‘ you have had your time ‘ ... I’m 37.

Is there some kind of unsaid fashion rule regarding hair colours and age //.

Is that how he sees me ?! As someone who has had their time !!! I’m
Younger than him !

As long as it suits you/you like it go for it.

I know someone who is late 40's and still has like Rihanna red hair, she doesn't look good with it though. It ages her a lot and makes her look quite hard faced.

LovelyIssues · 21/12/2020 20:45

Cheeky sod!! Did you ask him what he meant? Maybe he was joking

dottiedodah · 21/12/2020 20:58

well into my 50s here and still colouring my hair my fave shade of Blonde! WTF is he on about!

THEDEACON · 21/12/2020 20:58

FFS Never let anyone dull your sparkle especially OH Boot him in the proverbials by telling him he's had his time next time he initiates sex

DreamTheMoors · 21/12/2020 21:44

Gotta love a rebel!!!

The day you give in to the “old lady syndrome” is a sad day indeed.

You keep being you, @Glitterzzz and you’ll always be the better for it. ❤️

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