Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

Duh BrumBoo, he wasn't having an affair. The woman was trying to make it look like it so it would wreck his marriage.

My husband got given a photo of himself one of his mates had stuck on social media in his sports club shower. The woman who gave it to him must have really dig about. I was surprised at her; it wasn't appreciated by the management and my husband awkwardly tried to laugh it off.

Best secret santa I ever took part in went as follows. £5 limit, but you were not buying for a specific person.
At the team Christmas meal all gifts were placed in the centre of the table. Person chosen to go first picks and unwraps a gift. Shows it to everyone. Next person can pick a wrapped gift, or steal the gift from first person. If they steal from person 1, that person now gets to pick a new gift to unwrap.
Works best with a group of 10 or more. You can't steal a gift off of a person who stole from you, but the best items end up getting 'stolen' repeatedly.

Everyone bought reasonable gifts, as there is a chance you will be going home with it yourself!

I one year I got a wine glass bottle type thing and I don’t drink wine - you could tell it was a regift, next year I got someone else’s dog related gift (I don’t have or want a dog) because the person organised it spelled my name incorrectly.

I always put lots of effort into my SS so a bit disappointing

Essentially an overpriced packet of sweets (which I don’t eat) and a chocolate bar 🙄. The minimum spend was £15. I’ve checked the website of the company it came from and It’s overpriced for what it is but we’ll under the minimum spend. Obviously a last min oh we forgot SS gift.

I take it you’re a fan of the old Bayliss and Harding then

No, but I wouldn't think twice if a random person gave it as a gift. Its just some cheap smellies ffs.

The woman was trying to make it look like it so it would wreck his marriage.

I admit I misread. Its still a shitty thing to do though. Humiliating someone for a cheap laugh is pretty low.

I got the most gorgeous scarf

(But I’m enjoying all of these, so thanks for sharing )

I put way too much thought into mine, I try and find out as much as possible about the recipient and quite enjoy it

@Circumlocutious

I would actually like to see a thread where the MN gift connoisseurs share what they gifted for secret santa.

My favourite one was the most impressive looking hardback from the £1 section of a local second hand book shop (a poetry concordance I believe). I cut out a section from the pages within to make space for a selection of miniatures (gin, vodka & whiskey) and tied it shut with a tag stating "Solutions for life's travails lie within".

The recipient was somewhat bemused until it was suggested that he untie the ribbon.

Another one was a reasonable gift but I wrapped it in plastic and then coated it in about 30 layers of brown paper, each coated in PVA glue. After about a week's drying it was like being encapsulated in a solid wood block. I had to offer the use of knife to get into it.

The last one was fairly normal (a bonsai tree kit I think) but I didn't have any ribbons to finish off the packaging. The obvious thing to do was to use steel banding in place of ribbon and secure it with bolts.

I once received a terrifying 3 foot wooden elf...I dropped it off at a charity shop on the way home from work.

“High intensity sex interval training” book. So either saying I need to get better at sex or I need to lose weight? Or both??

My dp got a mug and snow globe with a photo of someone he works with in/on them (a different person from who gave them). The snow globe had little confetti hearts in it rather than snow.

Idgi and neither does he. Both have gone straight in the bin. What also got to me was that they were supposed to be spending £10 and he bought his recipient their favourite chocolates. Just such a weird present to give someone.

My husband once got a Minion soap-on-a-rope.

He was late 30s and we didn't have a kid then. It was so thoughtless and bizarre.

@BrumBoo

I take it you’re a fan of the old Bayliss and Harding then

No, but I wouldn't think twice if a random person gave it as a gift. Its just some cheap smellies ffs.

The woman was trying to make it look like it so it would wreck his marriage.

I admit I misread. Its still a shitty thing to do though. Humiliating someone for a cheap laugh is pretty low.

Rest assured, she completely deserved it. He was innocent, as was his wife, and it wasn't the first time she'd attempted something similar. Truly nasty woman.

Charlie Red perfume

Mine was one of those diffuser oil things. The packaging/style of it was very old fashioned. It was like something my grandma would have picked in the 80s. I'm pretty sure it was a poundshop item.
I know secret Santa is hard to buy for, but for that reason we use one where you can add a wishlist, I'd put chocolate as my first option to make it as easy as possible!
I might start getting a bit of a complex at work because last year was some rose themed smellies - again very old fashioned. I'm in my thirties and don't think I look particularly dowdy!

Did the lucky dip type secret santa one year. Someone very said she didnt wan't what she had picked as she had no use for it and would anyone swap. Cue stunned silence until someone said to re wrap it and leave it for the person who wasn't there and to take the other gift instead. She didnt like that one either....

It had been a really hard thing to buy for, not knowing who would get what especially we had numerous people with a whole range of allergies.
Neither were horrible gifts, neither were things she had declared an allergy to, she was just being mrs entitled...

You’re a poo head.

The only thing that’s made me laugh out loud since we went into tier 4

On another forum I frequent an Asian member of staff was given mango chutney and other Asian food items as rehear Secret Santa. They were offended but unsure whether they were being oversensitive. A whole host of people waded in with their perspective - from those who thought the giver was naive and needed to be educated all the way to those who thought the person was being deliberately offensive & should be reported to HR for racist behaviour.
Either way the recipient was upset by the gift.

Got a glow in the dark condom once . First Christmas in new job. Was mortified🤣

I got a harmonica in a works secret santa once. I am not musical at all

I got edible ants from Harrods one year...

Worst I bought was Body Shop stuff for a colleague who was an alcoholic and was really cross that it wasn't a bottle of wine.

I'd only been there for a month and didn't know she really wanted alcohol but she made me feel really bad about it.

A men's lynx set, I have a very female name too

I gave up taking part in SS after the third time I received fuck all.

I'm clearly very forgettable.

This year we had a budget of £15.

And here is what was chosen for me. I know it's ungrateful - but no way was this £15.

As soon as the charity shops are open I will be taking it in.

I like cats. I do not like this.

I received some chocolates that I knew were half the price than the set amount as there were in offer in the shop by work and given in a carry bag too with poststick on it. Knew probably last minute buy. We did it at a meal and I was a bit intoxicated and apparently was saying ahh they are half price and get the fat girl (I am chubby) chocolates to my friend next to me and no thought. She kept telling me be quiet and found out later the girl opposite me had got them and heard it all!! I had put a lot if thought in to the present I bought.