Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

I got the free gift you get when you spend over a certain amount onlego.com

I would have liked this
Love to know what free set it was. The old xmas ones sell for £25+

I'm thinking of not participating next year. This year whoever was my SS ignored the list of suggestions, whereas I spent over the limit to get my person exactly what they wanted. Last year I was working while they gave out the gifts and when I arrived at the lunch no one gave me mine and I sat there feeling sorry for myself and assuming there was nothing for me. Quite pathetic really, because eventually I was handed my gift. But the year before there really wasn't anything for me!

Read this thread last night, knowing we were doing the work SS today & it was good preparation. I got 3 tubes of hand cream. I never use hand cream. I gave away all the hand cream I'd amassed as unwanted gifts & raffle prizes, to a girl I used to care for. She used it as an ingredient to make slime. Sadly she's no longer in my care, so I'm not sure what to do with my new stash. I also got a pair of Totes. They're quite cute, but when would you wear them rather than slippers, I just don't really get the point of them?

I got a pair of homemade mittens. Great, right? Apart from they have made to fit a giant . Another one sent me a single bic biro that I suspect was taken from the stationary cupboard

@Justbrutallyhonest

We don’t bother with SS, we have a fuddle instead, only costs about £3 and everyone’s happy

What's a fuddle?

What's a fuddle?

A work buffet of party-type food. Either everyone brings some food in, or everyone contributes and one or two people buy the food.

I think it's a contraction of 'food' and 'huddle'.

Probably not viable during Coronavirus, alas.

We used to get secret Santa presents with DH's brothers and sisters as was fucked of with getting them proper presents and them getting us utter shite. One year french BIL got us a hamper of french food which consisted of snails in a tin, french beer and pate in a tin, all 2 years out of date 🙄

I got SIL and spent my £10 buying 5 lovely things I'd found in beauty site sales. She bought me a fucking tape measure with a stack of post it notes stuck to the side of it.

I've never bothered since.

I got a bottle of port and a selection of cheeses from my passive aggressive co worker one year. She knew I was teetotal and lactose intolerant.

No longer working but am doing SS with 3 distinct groups of friends this year
Group 1) items arrived separately direct from retailer with no note or indication they were SS - one of them I actually thought was a cock up by Amazon but turns out it’s a gift (and something I wouldn’t buy) other bits are lovely so it’s ok!
Group 2) all parents of multiple births - gift arrived in a timely fashion, note explaining what group they’re from but nothing revealing SA identity!
3) not received yet but had a deadline of last week to be received so probably caught up in the RM parcel mountains.

When I was working I stopped doing SS after 2 really bad years. Second year it happened my SS just didn’t bother buying anything; organiser (who wasn’t involved and kept record of who picked who else out) did chase them up and was told it was ‘on its way’ but it never turned up and SS didn’t seem bothered (I’m not sure they even bought it!!)

Worst year by a country mile was the one where my SS gift went missing from the cupboard it was stored in - in a restricted access office on the ward I worked on. Ward had a process of you ticked off when you’d chosen your recipient’s name, you ticked recipient’s name when you had put their SS gift in the cupboard and then signed when you took your gift from the cupboard on the last shift before Christmas or first shift back afterwards if off. When I put my gift in the cupboard about 2 weeks before Christmas my name was ticked and there was a parcel with my name on it; come Christmas Day when I finished my night shift I went to get my gift from the cupboard there was no gift with my name on it - and, despite the ward manager looking into it, the gift never turned up, so I got nothing!!

A small picture frame
An amazon voucher for £12.95 exactly
Box of cheap chocolates

By Baylis and Harding do you mean the handsoap?

@BrumBoo

I take it you’re a fan of the old Bayliss and Harding then

No, but I wouldn't think twice if a random person gave it as a gift. Its just some cheap smellies ffs.

The woman was trying to make it look like it so it would wreck his marriage.

I admit I misread. Its still a shitty thing to do though. Humiliating someone for a cheap laugh is pretty low.

Trying to split up a marriage is quite nasty. Good funny present though. Well deserved

One of the few good things which has come out of this year for me is secret santa as we are all still working from home. Usually a £15 limit and the worst gift i received was some frozen walkie talkies. Absolutely no idea why. Id never seen frozen, didnt have children and certainly have no idea why walkie talkies were thought of for me.

Got home and googled them and they were in a sale for £3. So no doubt just a cheap thoughtless gift. After years of cringing i womt be takimg part again

Ironically the Bayliss & H stuff I got this year was one of the best! The worst was in a place with a £10 budget. I used to sell top quality kitchenware (Pampered Chef) and someone bought me an icing bag from Poundland and some other cheaply made baking item. It was a voluntary SS so it wasn't about not having the money. Someone has either had a cupboard clear out or just bought something cheap.

I don't tend to do well on the secret santa....

First workplace I did it....I got nothing. Not sure if my name just wasn't put in or what, but nope nothing. Too timid to say anything.

I have also had a section of Frozen cake kits, you know the kids baking things. Cupcakes, cookies and a writing icing...all wrapped in Tesco carrier bag and presented by the secret santa themselves...in fairness I did bake quite a lot so it was somewhat personal...but not sure how they equated bake your own kitchen sponges with proper homemade cakes.

Last year....I got a glass and a Christmas toilet roll.

This year worked really well though. We are all working from home, so set up amazon wishlist and bought stuff from each others. So put a selection of little bits up (so it was a surprise) and got a little cookbook. I bought someone a wire....

Best I've had was a costa coffee gift set, with one of the lush modeling soaps!

I got a sweary colouring book and a decoration for my tree... Its the snowman that says knob.

@RosaBaby2 they are brilliant secret Santas!!

I once got a chipped tasteless vase.

@Minikievs

A packet of penis shaped pasta that my boss fished out the back of his kitchen cupboard the morning of the present exchange

thats hilarious 😂

I once got an advent calendar. Not the chocolate / goodies kind, just pictures behind the doors. We exchanged gifts half way through December.

I have had some good ones though. The highlight was one of those long hot water bottles. I love it.

I no longer participate, mainly due to the following.

8m pregnant with ds2. A black thong with pink pompoms and "make my pussy purr" emblazoned across the front in pink.

Single parent with 6yo and 3yo a satellite office (open to the public). Naked fireman calender.
[I've no interest in naked pictures of random men, never mind where on earth the gifter thought I might display it]

I've inadvertently been the giver of a disappointing secret santa. We used to have an option to give some suggestions (e.g I'm a white wine drinker, I read detective novels etc.)

The first year at a new workplace I pulled 'Jenny' out of the hat. Jenny specified that she wanted a specific lavender and something (can't remember what) aromatherapy room spray from an independent artisan shop in her home village. The problem was that she lived 30 minutes west of our workplace and I lived 1h15 minutes east, meaning it would be a 3.5hr round trip to buy it.

I rang the shop, the room spray was already £8 over the £10 SS limit, and they charged £15 for postage and packaging. I wasn't willing to spend £33 on a £10 secret santa so i bought a nice lavender and whatever candle instead. I included a note apologising that I couldn't get to the shop and hoped this would also be a nice gift.

She went batshit, proper tantrum in the office when she opened it and threw the candle in the bin. A couple of people knew it was me as they'd seen me put the present under the tree and I was mortified.

Found out months later that it was her daughter that owned the artisan aromatherapy shop so she knew exactly how much it would have cost when she demanded it.

Omg the candle! That is so ungrateful! Cheeky bitch.

Fucking hell! I hope she got a candle up the fanny (with the wick still lit!)

Hmmmm I’ve been given b&h sets before. Is this a bad thing ?

We do a ss of 5 x £1 gifts from Poundland / it’s a fun thing. All get put in a bag and then pick one out each round

Do 5 over the course of a meal/night out

Sadly this year as went into t3 week before meal was cancelled

So I now have to open for myself. 😂😂😂

Lip balm
Unicorn easing up liquid
Toffee
Smelly candle
Photo frame