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Original poster

Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

440 replies

Retiremental · 20/12/2020 14:24

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding Xmas Angry

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
goodwinter · 20/12/2020 14:49

@TheLadyGrayson

My other half got some absolute tat (rude, and probably classed as sexual harassment if done to a woman) for Secret Santa this year, had to take it on the chin in front of 30ish colleagues on a Zoom call, and spent more than the allotted £10 on a lovely gift for his secret Santa person which they asked for.

You could add ideas to a list via their online secret Santa generator so the person buying for him completely disregarded his choices. I don’t know whether I’ve just had a sense of humour failure this year but I don’t get why he had to be the butt of everyone’s joke. Why would you bother taking part when you get such an awful gift? He said he’d never feel like he could opt out but I would if I were him!

What was it?
treefox3513 · 20/12/2020 14:51

I love secret Santa threads Xmas Smile

This year I got a reusable home bargains bag and a reusable olive oil bottle. The glass ones with a metal tip.

I mean yes, practical, but I was so disappointed. The limit was £10 and it must of cost £3 at best. I spent £12 on some luxury chocolates for my secret Santa.

We had to do the circle of cringe in the office when everyone ill owned them one by one.

I think I've learnt my lesson now!

Minikievs · 20/12/2020 14:52

Oh I've thought of another one! I was pregnant and got a novelty "diet" fork with oversized gaps in the prongs. The packaging said it was "designed to help you lose weight"

Plsv87 · 20/12/2020 14:52

2 pack of Dove shower gel. Cheapest item in the Boots 3 for 2.

HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 20/12/2020 14:53

I once got a pack of chocolate Brazil nuts that were 2 years out of date.

Plsv87 · 20/12/2020 14:53

This has reminded me how much I hate work secret santa 😂

Didn't do it this year.

StormBaby · 20/12/2020 14:54

I’m over 6ft tall and very busty. I am not tiny or petite in any way. I once got a ‘sexy elf’ costume in about a size 12 given to me. I dread to think who bought me it from the mixed gender team of about 40 people, but i hate gift opening anyway, and that just finished me off.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 14:56

@Nsws2015 do koppaberg make wine I thought only cider?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 20/12/2020 14:56

I have a good one that wasn't me, though I've told this before in here.

In my last place of work, bullying was rampant and one particular year was shit especially for my colleague (we'll call him Chris) who essentially had been micro managed and picked on by former friend and now-manager Keith. Chris was a really hard worker and so lovely and in the midst of a spending cut spree, they did that thing where they treat everyone like shit in the hope they'll walk before they're pushed.

Chris had been hugely over worked for no extra money or TOIL, and in a time where, after 6 years of IVF, his wife was finally pregnant, he was bullied by Keith into missing antenatal appointments because "this is an important deadline" all for him to say "oh yeah the deadline was actually tomorrow I just didn't want you missing it". Chris was on the verge of a nervous breakdown by Christmas

So Chris and Keith got each other in the secret Santa. Chris, because he was a good person, bought Keith a bottle of his favourite whisky. On the present opening day, Keith said "Oh shit I totally forgot" ran out to Tesco next door, came back with a 4 pack of Special Brew and gave it to Chris.

Chris put the whiskey bag away, said "Oh I got you too, let me just nip to the car for it" and went to Tesco, and bought 16 bags of Tesco value dried pasta. Handed the bags over and said in front of everyone "Here you go Keith, cheap value pasta for a cheap value boss". Then passed me the whiskey bottle and said "here you go Glummy got something for you too". I was so proud GrinKeith was clearly raving but didn't dare say anything.

Luckily both Chris and I got new jobs after that but remain close and still talk about the furious look on Keith's face when he opened the Tesco bags Grin

CounsellorTroi · 20/12/2020 14:56

Nipple tassels. I have inverted nipples so they wouldn't stay on, so couldn't even give my DH a laugh!

BrumBoo · 20/12/2020 14:56

These threads always decend into the same thing. The occasional 'really, wtf' story but generally things like the op who's bemoaning a perfectly average gift from someone who doesn't really care to have to think to hard about it.

Most people have enough to do at Christmas without the added stress of thinking about a thoughtful-yet-inoffensive gift for someone you've barely said more than 'hi' to for 12 months yet somehow expects something fanciful for the £10 budget.

Circumlocutious · 20/12/2020 14:59

A packet of smoked salmon purchased from the Co-op round the corner.

Not joking.

Nsws2015 · 20/12/2020 15:00

@AldiAisleofCrap I will get a pic of it when I go downstairs shortly! I googled cos I didn't know they did wine either and I work in a supermarket!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 20/12/2020 15:00

@Circumlocutious

A packet of smoked salmon purchased from the Co-op round the corner.

Not joking.

I'd have much preferred this over Coca Cola lip balms or Bayliss and Harding TBH
ilovethecold · 20/12/2020 15:01

I got a candle and at the front it said ' Fanny Flaps '

CoronaIsWatching · 20/12/2020 15:01

OP you've been given a perfectly practical gift just put it in your bathroom and forget about it. Would you have preferred nipple tassles?

CounsellorTroi · 20/12/2020 15:02

I agree Secret Santas where everybody opens the gift in front of everyone are awful. There's a huge pressure to think of something that's not boring but original and amusing without being offensive. And that's for someone you may not actually know that well.

ImPrincessAurora · 20/12/2020 15:02

I once got given a book. When I read the back I realised it was a novel about a survivor of sexual assault. No idea why it was given to me (I worked in finance at the time). I can only assume it was on offer or a regift Xmas Sad

YerWanIsGettinNotions · 20/12/2020 15:03

I got a poundshop pot of neon pink slime with warnings about staining furniture plastered all over. I took it with me out of the restaurant and tossed it into a bin right outside. In hindsight it must have been someone who hated me!

We had a £10 limit at the time so I had bought my giftee a book (related to our work interests but funny) off amazon and because it was £8, I made it up to the £10 limit with a bar of Green & Blacks. I was pretty disappointed.

Canwecancel2020 · 20/12/2020 15:04

Since this is all anonymous and we could all do with cheering up, what’s the harm?

TeaLibrary · 20/12/2020 15:05

Ouch Bayliss and Harding. Not good. This thread is keeping me entertained while I wait for a hospital appointment

Canwecancel2020 · 20/12/2020 15:07

@TeaLibrary

Ouch Bayliss and Harding. Not good. This thread is keeping me entertained while I wait for a hospital appointment
Hope that goes ok xx
TeaLibrary · 20/12/2020 15:07

I got a manky looking tin of generic floral toiletries which smell awful. Oh well...charity shop donation or raffle donation

pandora206 · 20/12/2020 15:07

Trinny and Suzannah's 'What not to wear' book. My dress sense obviously didn't impress one of my team!

TeaLibrary · 20/12/2020 15:08

Thank you @canwecancel2020. Should go ok hopefully