Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

My old work place had to ban secret Santa, 2 ladies, had a massive failing out, hr involved!

Well one of them managed to get the other in the secret Santa, she brought her a dildo, with a note, saying "go fuck yourself"

@Chasingsquirrels

I no longer participate, mainly due to the following.

8m pregnant with ds2. A black thong with pink pompoms and "make my pussy purr" emblazoned across the front in pink.

Single parent with 6yo and 3yo a satellite office (open to the public). Naked fireman calender.
[I've no interest in naked pictures of random men, never mind where on earth the gifter thought I might display it]

I'm surprised at some of these. Not just this specific post, but similar.

I can't imagine it being let pass in the workplace, tbh.

@Retiremental

We have this excruciating tradition where everyone gathers for ‘nibbles’ and ‘picky bits’ and has to stand around whilst all the presents are handed out, OPENED and commented on there and then

We had that as well, everyone brought in a different dish to share, then the chief of staff dressed up as father Christmas arrived to dish out the pressies. I'm easy to get for, just get me chocolate but by Christ I never got any!

One year I said I'm not doing secret Santa any more, no problem I thought but no- if I wasn't doing secret Santa, I couldn't come to the drinks and nibbles. 2 other people also decided not to after I'd made my unilateral decision not to join, they'd been wanting to drop out for years but didn't feel brave enough until I did. (Leading from the front, that's me!)
Anyway, we decided to have our own breakaway drinks and nibbles, so they all trooped off to the dining room, we stayed behind and had a fab time. Next year, something must have been said as more people joined us breakaway band of rebels and refused secret Santa but all of us were allowed to join the main group for the festivities. I don't miss that place!

It's probably just a massive coincidence- but if your parcel included a book, there's a minute chance that this was me. I was crap in general that year (2017 if it was you) and I'm so very sorry.

DH's work banned SS after the boss got a tube of vagisil because he is an irritating cunt. More than one year in a row...

@Thistles24

I got bayliss and Harding this year too, only it’s using a different name - fuzzy duck, by bayliss and Harding. And it’s a mini set. The past couple of years I’ve had lovely presents, which balance it out I guess.

I love Fuzzy duck!

@SparklingLime

I was eighteen and four months into my first job after college. I was mortified and binned them before crying in the toilet. I showed it to my mum the following day and she called the director to complain. The cunt who sent it was a temp and his contract was terminated for that and a myriad of other discretions. He was made to give me an apology too which was utterly excruciating. I would rather have eaten the peanuts.

Not the same, but similar

I run a swap box group (basically ss, but throughout the year) and we answer various questionnaires, create wishlists on Elfster etc

Someone must have noted all my "hates" (licorice, dairy and adult coloring, to name but three) and bought me every one of them!

The twat went over the £20 budget doing so, too! 🙄

I still want to know what’s wrong with b&h toiletries

People who spend over the budget are just setting themselves up for disappointment though.

I think SS is better with a theme (bad taste) or food only or whatever.

I've done a few and they've been ok, but i did one at work once where there were about 15 people, not compulsory, and max spend of a tenner.

My young colleague, wouldn't say boo to a goose, got a box of dog biscuits (theme was tasty treats) which cost about two quid. So I said everyone should take their own present back and go home and think long and hard about what they thought this kind of stunt achieved.

And we never did SS again in that office.

Last year I got a pack of biscuits for cheese. I actually nearly cried when everyone else was opening their lovely, well thought out presents.

I once got a big bottle of very cheap and very dark fake tan. The giver revealed themselves and took great pleasure in telling everyone she had bought it for me "because look! She is sooo pale".

If I'd had known the theme was "what can improve this persons appearance?" I would have got her a paper bag

I hate it when someone stoops so low as to mock someones appearance, especially in front of others. And I like being pale to be honest!

I’ve never had a good SS, a couple of times whoever was giving to me flaked and I got nothing, luckily the organizers have always been well prepared and I’ve ended up with a generic replacement. I love buying present and put a lot of thought in to it. This year we are all WFH and so we posted our work SS. I got mine a letterbox spa, handmade soap, face masks, handmade candle etc I received a generic nivea cream set, I’m sending it to my mum next time I send her a care package, at least it’s products she uses.

For our workplace at least it takes so little to make an effort, through this year while we’ve been WFH we’ve all been active in Team chats and we have a couple of social ones going along with the work related ones, it would have been so easy to do a quite search and see what kind of stuff I liked and thing I’m in to.

Oh well, surely one day it will work out 🙈

@eeek88

FYI i really think you can't go wrong with scratchcards for Secret Santa. Not a big burden for landfill, thrilling to scratch, and potentially a very big win.

totally crap present. Possibly the worst one on here. (well, bar the nasty sexual ones from creepy men to younger colleagues)

I hope you are joking.

I think there is a lot to be said for a lucky dip type secret Santa - at least if you got something shit it wouldn’t feel so personal.