Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

Kid's jigsaw a few years back. Straight to the charity shop.

I got a Baylis and Harding set once year. My mum was chuffed as she loved the soap and lotion, so she took it for her house. That year I gave a bag of coffee beans - the gifted was addicted to Maccies coffee, so I found a bag of the beans for her and quadruple wrapped them to stop her smelling it before she opened it. She was happy, and appreciated the giggle.

Classic Christmas secret Santa anthem

Surely the point of Secret Santa is that you either get something amazing or something shit - there's no in-between!

The past few years I've had;
A colouring book and (obviously) used tin of pencils.
A Bayliss & Harding set.
Prosecco.
A selection of items related to a band I love.
An Amazon voucher.

I've bought a similar mix of probably shit and lovely gifts depending on how well I know the recipient and I'm happy to admit that 😁

I arranged a SS at college once, a few years ago. Some of the class didnt want to join in, that was fair enough - we were all poor students! There was no pressure to take part and it was set at a limit of £5.

My present was a used bottle of Avon perfume, half-empty and covered in greasy fingerprints and a used bottle of nail varnish with the lid welded on.

I was so disappointed after going to all the effort to arrange something fun for the class. Learnt a lesson though, stay away from SS!

I once got a packet of instant porridge sachets.. drops mic

@whereisthejoy

I got edible ants from Harrods one year...

Are you missing a p?

@glas14368

This year we had a budget of £15. And here is what was chosen for me. I know it's ungrateful - but no way was this £15.

As soon as the charity shops are open I will be taking it in.

I like cats. I do not like this.

That's just under £6 on Amazon.

And it's fucking awful.

We used to do one like @Wheresmycider with gifts selected in a random order and stealing allowed. It was a lot of fun and a lot less awkward than a traditional secret Santa, where you are buying a gift for a specific person and it can land really badly.

Still saw an incredibly awkward gift though: someone for one of those lime green Borat mankinis. We were all quite tipsy by the time the gifts were opened and it was still excruciating. Everyone was cringing and someone half-heartedly stole it so the poor incredibly shy and embarrassed guy that opened it didn't have to take it home. Really grim.

Got to say I would enormously prefer cheap smellies or cheap chocolate / biscuits to something humorous though. Boring, generic and safe is so much better than an attempt at personalisation from someone who doesn't really know you well.

What did you buy, OP?

Also, £20 on a secret Santa gift is loads! I have a big family, so that's more than I would spend for some of my cousins. I'd much rather get a small gift from someone and spend a small amount myself than spend £20 on someone for total pot luck about what you get in return!

The best one was where I picked my own name in the name draw and kept quiet.

My Secret Santa gift of £10 was exactly what I wanted.

I had done Secret Santa with that team before and knew what sort of gifts people gave. Badly knitted gloves, poundshop perfume or toiletries etc.

@glas14368

This year we had a budget of £15. And here is what was chosen for me. I know it's ungrateful - but no way was this £15.

As soon as the charity shops are open I will be taking it in.

I like cats. I do not like this.

This does look like one of those wooden cat caskets you can put dead pet ashes in

Not me but a friend got a MAGA hat

*A packet of smoked salmon purchased from the Co-op round the corner.

Not joking.*

I'd have been quite happy with that. I love salmon.

One year we went for a Christmas meal after Christmas at my then partner's cousin's house. All the family were there.
My secret Santa - some baubles. Obviously an oh shit I haven't been arsed to buy anything for her present!!

@glas14368

This year we had a budget of £15. And here is what was chosen for me. I know it's ungrateful - but no way was this £15.

As soon as the charity shops are open I will be taking it in.

I like cats. I do not like this.

My ex had one of these with his cat’s ashes in.

@glas14368 it’s £5.99 from Amazon.

I think our way of doing Secret Santa is the best. Everyone who wants to take part puts their own name in the hat with a list of 3 items they would like to receive. That was no-one is disappointed and you get an idea if you don’t know the person you are buying for. Much better than having shite you don’t want (or alcohol you don’t drink).

I haven’t opened mine yet but I know it will be coffee, a candle or something for the tree.

My first job at 16, I worked in a well known clothes shop.
Even part timers were included in the secret Santa. At the time I was being paid £2.32 an hour so being asked to get a gift with shit wages (I was part-time due to college) and no limit was hard work. But I managed to buy a nice box of chocolates from Thorntons and a bottle of wine.
I got given a freddo. One actual 10p Freddo. Wrapped up to look huge.
I thought perhaps it was one of my fellow poor students but no, it was the men's department manager who found himself oh so hilarious. Said you don't give to receive so I should thank him (offering his bloody cheek for a kiss the pervert).
The lady who got mine looked so annoyed about it too bless her.
After work, our store boss, who was a star, called me into his office. He said it had got back to him what the guy had done and he was cross. My "gift" was by far the worst and cheapest.
So he said, come with me, took me into the back store room and said, anything you want off the new stock rail (not due to go out yet), make yourself up an outfit.
Ended up with a really nice couple of bits for Christmas dinner!
Result!

@Tenyearsgone

What did you buy, OP?

Budget was £20.

My colleague loves gardening and wine/cheese.

Got her a wicker garden trug with a bottle of red and a mini cheese board.

Is that acceptable?

Luckily my workplace is too small for SS (there are 4 of us, and the other 3 are related), but I love these threads. I continue to be astonished at the merry-go-round of tat that seems obligatory this time of year.

I hate SS. Not because of what I receive, but the ungrateful responses.

I had to buy for someone I barely know this year. Got something generic for her. Looked like someone had shat on her foot.

Similar last year. Got a mug for someone then overheard them complaining to various groups about how they dont even like hot drinks.

I think people expect a bit much from these things tbh. I dont want to opt out and look like a scrooge though.

I've got mine a book on Micro Adventures and a Shewee, which seemed part useful, part funny as we approached the end of the year full of hope that we'd be able to do stuff next year. Just ridiculous now

Colleague got a "This is a secret Santa mug" mug.