To think more MC women should try dating WC men

[CrotchBurn]

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

@Maigue

Wow 🤣🤣 I must just be lucky.

[quote Iminaglasscaseofemotion]@formerbabe I think it's more disingenuous to now try pretend you were not trying to describe the way you look/dress as a typical wc woman and that's why you think mc women avoid you.[/quote]
So...don't pretend that people don't judge based on stereotypes and on how people look.

Two men in front of you..ones called Lee and is wearing a tracksuit and cap...the other is called Rupert and is wearing red trousers...are you really telling me you wouldn't make any assumptions?

More MC women should try dating WC men?

Well that should be interesting for me i guess, seeing as i'm married. Should i be having wild affairs with the milkman or plumber just to test the theory of bullshit stereotypes? One of the local posties was always really sweet to me when i just had DS. Maybe i should look him up as i know where he lives.

This thread is utterly depressing and unintentionally hilarious in equal measure.

After due consideration i think i will stick to DH precisely because he is stereotype non conforming and I'm not really interested in social experiment dating.

So...don't pretend that people don't judge based on stereotypes and on how people look.

Not what I said. I sad you are now describing what you perceive to be wc about the way you chose to look, but its not. I am wc, for generations my family have been wc. I hardly wear make-up haven't wore hoops since I was about 17, love a posh cafe 🤷‍♀️ so I should be right in there with the mc women at the school gate, yes?

I grew up WC too and don’t wear hoops or a shit load of make up
Wait, am I doing it wrong?

I'm EC, live in a deprived WC area, mix with WC people.
On the one hand I'd prefer a man who could buy me a nice house and pay people to do any fixing. Not having enough money isn't fun. But on the other hand it's the sex talk in a posh accent, that would put me off. He'd have to be MC Scottish or similar, or it would feel like I was shagging a Tory.

The stereotyping on this thread is ridiculous and insulting.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

So...don't pretend that people don't judge based on stereotypes and on how people look.

Not what I said. I sad you are now describing what you perceive to be wc about the way you chose to look, but its not. I am wc, for generations my family have been wc. I hardly wear make-up haven't wore hoops since I was about 17, love a posh cafe 🤷‍♀️ so I should be right in there with the mc women at the school gate, yes?

Well yes, you'd probably be more accepted than me because people make assumptions based on how you look. Hence why the girl at uni was visibly shocked by the school I attended and actually said 'YOU went to private school?' Anyway most friends I've made as an adult are immigrants who don't assume so much from my experience.

Anyway, isn't it interesting that many mc women are more likely to marry wc men as opposed to mc men marrying wc women...the latter is far less likely which says a lot

@Wherediditgo

I grew up WC too and don’t wear hoops or a shit load of make up Wait, am I doing it wrong?

Well I never said all wc women do, I say I do and am judged for it.

I don't need a man who can fix stuff. I can do that myself. I do expect a man to be able to do basic DIY and car maintenance as basic life skills, same as I expect women to. I also expect most adults to be able to do basic cooking and housework and sew a button back on a shirt. That's just being a competent adult, and it's easy enough to get access to books, videos or even courses to learn how to do things you don't know. My public school-educated father taught me to use a hammer and a saw, and to do basic stuff on the car, which is the main reason I think your theory us a load of rot - I've met plenty of people like him.

An ability to learn is important to me. I like people who have a wide range of interests, too and can discuss things. Some interest in sport is also good, but I have no interest in boxing. I don't want someone who depends most of their spare time in the gym, but an hour a day is normal (might be swimming or cycling or running.)

This is more about personality than class, having a curiosity about life. You can get that at all levels of society. It might be that you're likely to be from a more financially privileged background if you've learnt fencing (epees more than field boundaries) and rowing rather than some other sports, but there's a massive range of physical activities out there. There are loads of books to read. Things which can be done at all levels of society, and are.

It is insulting and diminishing using working class/ middle class descriptors. It's also silly and outdated. Today, most of the population is middle class - we are thankfully becoming one big classless society.

EveningOverRooftops
It’s the ones that play with your nipples like they are tuning in the radio and can’t find the right station 😂

It’s the ones that play with your nipples like they are tuning in the radio and can’t find the right station

That has brought back some very bad memories 😂

I kind of agree with this.

I have young women in my workplace who (pre-covid) obvs we're going on endless awful tinder dates with tortured artist types or mc do gooders.

I have advised them to date plumbers, brickies, etc. Proud practical men.

Worked for me.

@im5050

EveningOverRooftops It’s the ones that play with your nipples like they are tuning in the radio and can’t find the right station 😂

Yes, this. You can nearly hear Capital Radio coming and going amid the crackles. Erotic or what?

@im5050

EveningOverRooftops It’s the ones that play with your nipples like they are tuning in the radio and can’t find the right station 😂

Oh god. Hahaha. Yes there was a well to do chap I dated who did that. He wasn’t best pleased when I did it to his balls 😬

My soon to be Ex is WC and is about as capable as a chocolate tea pot.
The lack of interests outside TV, football, and card games, coupled with zero ability to even change a lightbulb leaves me cold.

Is it because he's WC? Or is he just useless? I think it's the latter. Or my very WC family would be very unimpressed.

I'm working class and so is my husband. I have dated both middle and working class in the past and noticed a difference but I can't quite put my finger on what it was. A guy who was middle class definitely felt his lifestyle was superior to mine but that was just one person. I think he felt I was good for dating and having sex with but not god enough to be his long term partner and introduce me family. He had a good career and money but the personality of a damp sock and wasn't sexy . So middle class doesn't mean better.

Well, nice for you but your experience isn't universal and cannot be generalised into what women "ought to do".

My houseproud, ex-boxer (prizewinning) egalitarian, practical and helpful DH went to public school. So clearly you should all get off your mumsnet high horses and marry people who did too.

@Itgetsthehoseagain

I love my husband to bits, but God yours sounds sexy as f*ck.

He sounds awful to me. Arse slapping? Eurgh.

@TeachesOfPeaches

If you are WC and left school at 16 and went into a trade then you're more likely to settle down early as you're earning early, and have cash for your own place.

If you're MC and went to uni and do a masters and go travelling etc then you can be mid twenties and still living in a house share and relying on student loan. I think uni definitely infantilises people. (I'm WC but went to uni).

I don't know if it infantilises people - leaving home at 18 and learning how to cook the basics, do your own washing and budget isn't really infantilising - but what I think it does do is make people aware of the vast array of dating possibilities out there. Men who go into trades don't really have the possibility of doing Erasmus to a Swedish university full of Swedish women in their twenties, or joining the university athletics/gymnastics club or circuits classes.

I wonder if thats why there are so many prissy, arrogant sort-of-MC men who work in pretty average jobs who think they are a great catch that women (who quite often earn more than them) are out to snare.

I also agree that the class boundaries are blurred and meaningless.

Going to university doesn't mean you are MC if you have WC values. Likewise, people working in traditionally WC fields might start their own business which might become very successful, sell it in their forties and live a life of relative leisure in a nice period property with land and stables afterwards. There are some very posh "farmers" who barely get their hands dirty, but do all the admin and arrange the agricultural contractors. You are not telling me they are WC while a council admin worker on £27k pa living in a rented flat is MC just because they scraped through a politics degree.

I associate class more with how people conduct themselves and the choices they make. Being discriminate as to who you shag and treating people well and not acting like someone out of the Jeremy Kyle show is what I would say is MC.

I must admit I'm thinking of my ex here who, despite having a trust fund and an aristocratic father, doesn't work, has no ambition, cheated on me with a (very tolerant) woman from a council scheme, messes her around and has been embroiled in screaming matches in the street with women (not me!!). I would say he is more WC except he doesn't work, so with the lack of basic manners I'd say he has reached chav status.

Agree but their extended families are hard going...

He slaps your arse? That’s not ok.

Clearly you don’t know many WC or MC men if you think the few you’ve named represent an accurate microcosm. Generalising much. The lack of self awareness in your post is staggering!

This is bizarre. Why are you putting all these stereotypical traits on working class men? It’s tasteless to say “oh it’s so sexy to go out with a man who is a stereotype of a class lower than me!”

He slaps your arse? That’s not ok

It's perfectly ok if you're a couple and both happy with it.