To think more MC women should try dating WC men

[CrotchBurn]

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

I said "a bit of rough" tongue in cheek 🙄

Do people genuinely care about class these days? I don't give a toss whether someone is wealthy and educated, it's what they are like as a person. I have never understood this desire to be seen as middle class. Live life in a way that makes you happy and choose a partner for love not money and possessions.

MC men are often crap at chatting up women. I remember my friend bringing along her old uni friend to a night out. I said a passing hello to him and he didn't speak anything else to me. Days later my friend told me he really fancied me totally bizarre behaviour imo. I do not want to be with a man who couldn't even chat me up cold.

I kind of agree with you OP. Although I'm not sure whether (or when?) I became MC myself, my parents are from WC backgrounds but had office jobs, my dad became a teacher when I was in my teens. I went to private school. I didn't go to uni but now have a MC career in the civil service. But I digress.

The only man I ever really felt I could be myself with was my very WC, lovely late DH. He left school at 16 but without taking any exams, was a squaddie then worked in a factory, and lived in a council house. He always said that buying his own home (when we had our child) and marrying me made him MC by association. He was rubbish at DIY but would have a go, my dad does carpentry and fixes cars as a hobby so DH would get instructions on how to do it rather than call in a man. He considered us equal partners, didn't get insecure when my wages doubled what he earned (I had earned less than him at the start of the relationship). I could be myself warts and all - moody, happy, loud, quiet, he took care of me when I was ill and was delighted with our baby even though I fell pg after just a few months. He was a true gentleman.

I couldn't imagine dating again, but if I did, most of the men I know are MC due to the work circles I move in, and they are not for me.

I don't care about class but about education and intelligence.

interesting and good point op.

@inquietant

I'm not sure a MC/WC relationship is the big taboo you're making out.

And there are a lot of stereotypes in your post.

This. This ain’t pre industrial revolution

Are you Lady Chatterley?

@formerbabe

Despite my mc upbringing, I am not at all mc. I wear too much make up, love a hoop earring, am a bit fat and enjoy retail parks rather than artisan delis. People are usually amazed to hear I went to private school and have a degree.

And now were on to stereotyping the wc women. Nice.

I also think mc men tend go for very thin, rather plain yet still attractive women...I've got too much tits and arse and I wear too much make up

@Barmyfarmy

The class system is a joke. My husband was a tattoo artist, but on paper you'd think he was middle-upper class because of his income. He always knew how to fix and build things, was humble, house proud, did the cleaning even when I was living at his and not working. He fixed cars, bought second hand items. Now we live in a farm and have a high income so on paper would be middle-upper class, but the work is hard, physical, manual labour?

The class system makes no sense, it's very rare that anyone fits into any class, and the stereotypes that come with each class are ridiculous too. People think class is judged on money and upbringing but often they don't align. I was brought up in a low income household but now live in a high-income household. Where does that place me? I'm not posh or a tory, my car is 26 years old, my kids wear second hand clothes. Classes don't work in this modern world anymore

IMO there are two topics at play here:

1. ‘Cultural’ class. This is the one most people discuss on MN, it’s what the OP is about... it’s usually how you grew up but can change depending on your peers. It’s the one people get irate about and think should be ‘abolished’... which is crazy as it’s not an establishment thing, therefore can’t be ‘abolished’ - it’s cultural and for it to drop away, it would have to stop being fashionable or on anyone’s radar.
2. Socio-economic status as defined by social science. Based on your income, what assets you have etc etc. This absolutely cannot be abolished. It needs to be measured in order to see the distribution of wealth across the country, highlight areas of deprivation and (hopefully) inform government policy in order to increase funding in areas such as health, education etc.

Don’t confuse the two - they’re very different.

@iminaglasscaseofemotion

I'm telling you how I'm stereotyped based on how I look. The mc mums at the school flock together and don't see me as one of them because of how I look. I don't wear a sensible fleece jumper or good quality flat brown boots. You are being very disingenuous if you think people don't make assumptions based on how we look. I also have a London accent which makes people judge me. One girl at my uni nearly spat out her tea when I told her what school I went to.

So you view everyone through a lens of class? How gross

My DH is firmly UMC and can fix anything and is very handy

[quote CrotchBurn]@Raspberry681
I would agree with what you say. I only have one friend who is married with children, and all of his are (we're in our 30s). A friend of mine sounds like yours and she always meets these men who are interested in meditation, self discovery, travel, and just end up dicking her around because they still feel like they need to keep their freedom.[/quote]
Not one of my MC friends is like that. Those people are called cunts, not MC.

WTF this thread is ridiculous.

I’m a ‘MC’ woman married to a ‘WC’ man who definitely does not box or fix cars, and who loves cooking and experimenting with food. The generalisations in your post and in some of the other posts here are hilarious

What happens when they arnt bringing in the mumsnet minimum standard of 3 billion quid a week salary down the pie n mash mines?

All the WC men I have dated were ex military which might colour things but they were on the whole, more not less misogynistic than my mc boyfriends. Not in an out and out way but there were certainly a lot of unwritten assumptions about what I, as a woman, should or shouldn't do, or be, or how I should act. Nice guys but ultimately not for me.

Not really able to empathise with this having had MC and WC boyfriends, none of whom were idiots or I'd not have gone out with them.

DH is 'working class made good' (as am I) so started off as definitely WC, educated, worked hard, live in a nice house in the country and have professional jobs. To the outside we're MC, but both feel WC still. The whole class system is bollocks and only used when one self-labelled group wishes to bash another self-labelled group.

OP, just don't go out with twats regardless of their occupation/family standing etc

I'm WC and I think more MC men should date me... especially if they're the surgeon at work who I have a bit of a crush on...

So... my experience. Not class related.

Men who can fix things tend to be, IME, great at oral/getting me off. Ones who can’t fix shit cba to ‘fix’ me 😬🤣🤣

@BarbaraofSeville

Us proles just grunt and point like Stig of the Dump. And smack peoples’ arses for emphasis

Last man who slapped my arse was one of a group of pissed up posh twats, just saying.

The last person who slapped my arse was a drunk student passing me on a pedestrian street in a cycle rickshaw. Thinking I was being mugged, I swung instinctively, and there was a satisfying crack. Whoops. Did my hand accidentally connect with your nose? Imagine my contrition.

While I hate generalising and pigeon-holing men, I can say that this has been my experience. My WC boyfriends happily cooked, cleaned, my MC boyfriends/husband expected me to. It is clearly not a rule, but definitely resonated!

And yet, back in the day, this was the complete opposite!

@EveningOverRooftops

So... my experience. Not class related.

Men who can fix things tend to be, IME, great at oral/getting me off. Ones who can’t fix shit cba to ‘fix’ me 😬🤣🤣

Oh, no. My experience is the opposite. They jiggle you like they’re trying to fix a faulty washer.

@formerbabe I think it's more disingenuous to now try pretend you were not trying to describe the way you look/dress as a typical wc woman and that's why you think mc women avoid you.