To report this even though my dd could get in trouble?

[DannyOD]

I live in London. Very high rates of Covid and rising. It is DD’s best friend’s 21st birthday and she is having a party. We are not happy about her attending and have told her so but she is insisting on going. Her cousins were 18 and 21 this year and have managed without celebrating!! I am friends with her best friends Mum and have told her of my worries but she is all breezy about it saying they have a marquee so they can go in the garden (still not allowed). So WIBU to anonymously report the party even though it could get them all in trouble? Or should I just cross my fingers and hope for the best?

The virus exists, all lockdowns do it put a pause on it. Hopefully the vaccine will work but expecting people to put their lives on hold for literally years is extremely unrealistic. The longer it goes on, the less people will comply.

I'd report it. They're going against all rules. This is why there is now a Tier 4.

@florascotia2

It is just as irresponsible as drink driving - spreading the virus kills people. I'll say it again; spreading the virus kills people.

To date, over 66,000 people have died of the virus in the UK.
That's many, many more than are killed by drunk drivers each year. One hundred times more, in fact. (On average 666 people are killed in drink driving accidents each year in the UK.)

Its not about number of deaths. Its about cost/benefit analysis. It costs barely anything to not drink drive. What people are being asked to do - house arrest for over a year - is an immense ask. Not the same.

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@BritWifeinUSA but it is her business when the daughter visits and infects everyone though isn't it?[/quote]
No, I don’t think it is. She’s an adult. At what point does an adult’s behavior stop being a parent’s business? If you think it’s ok for a mother to tell (not ask) her 21-year-old daughter not to do something that may or may not be dangerous, at what age do you draw the line? 25? 30? 50? If a 21-year-old breaks the law the parents are not responsible.

The mother absolutely can ask or suggest that she doesn’t attend. But the daughter can also make her own decisions. At 21 I’d left home and was living in another country. I got up to stuff at that age that most likely was dangerous and would have probably made my mother faint if she knew. It was the comment that someone said about it being “proper parenting” to tell the daughter not to go. But at 21 that’s no longer the parent’s job.

As gatherings of ANY kind have been banned in London, yes i would report if they still plan to go ahead.

If your daughter still lives at home, tell her if she's going to be irresponsible by going to this party she will need to either isolate for 10 days after, or pay for a private test to be done so she isn't putting anyone else at risk.

Tier 4 is all I am saying

@ForestNymph

Its not the same as drinks driving. Not drink driving doesn't impact your life. I accept that a party isn't a necessity but for over a year, we've basically been on house arrest - the mental anguish and emotional distress caused by this shouldn't be glossed over.

There are mental health issues in my immediate family that have been exacerbated by covid; however, whatever way you look at it, a house party during a pandemic is never a necessity. It’s so incredibly hard on the entire population, but we can’t give up now. There is a difference between small breaches of covid rules to help someone’s mental well-being and hosting a potential superspreader event. I’ve turned a blind eye to my family and friends breaking rules to support each other as overall the increased risk has been minimal. I would have an issue with a major breach though.

I think when you still liv in your parents home and want them to fund you it is their business where you are particualrly during a pandemic. Its ridiculous to suggest otherwise in my view. I am disgusted t the people allowing these gatherings to happen on their premises and hope they get fined to fuck to be honest I am sick of the pretneders saying they follow the rules etc then coming in with crap like this

I get what you're saying but the real problem here is the government cocked it up. They didn't close borders, they didn't handle the first few cases properly, and they keep proposing unrealistic ideas like long term lockdowns. It isn't going to work, people have had enough evidently and issues like whats happening here will continue.

That was to @user1471539324

My quotes dont work sometimes

@ForestNymph

Its not the same as drinks driving. Not drink driving doesn't impact your life. I accept that a party isn't a necessity but for over a year, we've basically been on house arrest - the mental anguish and emotional distress caused by this shouldn't be glossed over.

Reporting your own child or friend for going to a party is not the same as reporting them for child abuse or murder, or taking their car keys away from them when they're drunk. It really worries me that people are unable to make the distinction. I understand that references to the nazis and stasi are "distasteful" but it is not wrong to draw a parallel between totalitarian impulses and totalitarian regimes. Totalitarian regimes don't start with murders and camps; they start with the insistence that loyalty to the regime should override loyalties of family, friendship and community. It then becomes your individual choice to make - and it seems so little (just a phone call, just a text, everyone on MN said they'd do it too) but what it means cannot be overstated Think carefully before you do such a thing. As Solzhenitzhyn said, the line between good and evil runs through every human heart.

Oh come on, house arrest!

We’re hardly all wearing ankle tags with a curfew!

YANBU. It’s a risk to society and the more people who have these kinds of events, the higher the chance of a third wave and the longer it will take us to get through this pandemic. Report it

100% agree.

Whether they are related or live in the same home has no relevance. Or even whether you know anybody going at all. If you know a large party is happening, it should be reported.

@queenofknives ^

@EmmaWithTheGreatHair

Why should the OP mind her own business when her DD is adamant she’s attending and (I presume) will then be coming home after mixing with others.

This is why the virus is spreading!

I would report!

This.

Tell your DD to make arrangements to stay 14 days

@ForestNymph

I get what you're saying but the real problem here is the government cocked it up. They didn't close borders, they didn't handle the first few cases properly, and they keep proposing unrealistic ideas like long term lockdowns. It isn't going to work, people have had enough evidently and issues like whats happening here will continue.

I don’t think anybody is going to argue that the government have handled this well, but at the same time, we’re not the only country that are having to constantly tighten measures either. It’s a terrible situation to be in.

I think the decision to try and save the travel industry has come at a great cost to the hospitality industry. The skies should have been closed at the start of the first lockdown. Apart from further restrictions though, now the virus is here and the R number is hovering around 1 again, I genuinely couldn’t suggest any better solutions to the government.

People keep talking about a national lockdown but this again seems to be unfair to the parts of the country with lower rates. Throughout the pandemic, the southeast has been peaking at the opposite points in time to the rest of the country. The only thing that may work is more policing of travel between tier levels, but again, that doesn’t help compliance at a time of covid fatigue.

Report it, it’s shit like this that is causing all the further increased lockdown measures. Selfish of the parents of the friend too.

For all those people saying they’re having fun and mind your own business, do you not realise unless we get this under control then ‘normal’ life is going to take much longer to resume and the recession is going to be worse. Partially contributed to because an adult can’t sacrifice a party.....FFS

I agree re travel has cost the hospitality industry.

But lockdowns like this are a social experiment. The amount of harm caused is huge. Abuse victims trapped with their abusers, vulnerable children unable to get meals, mentally ill people stuck inside, parents of kids with special needs, the burden on women (because it always falls on women re childcare), the anxiety and fear that affects children who are still developing mentally. Its short sighted imo.

My youngest are two and have barely socialised with anyone other than siblings. My 5 year old keeps asking me when the germs will be gone. It pisses me off because kids aren't at risk; yet my kids are going to be mentally scarred by these abhorrent measures.

She could get fined thousands of pounds because of you
Just butt out! DISGUSTING!

But forest here on this thread were are talking about a party, for heaven's sake, not about work and business and the economy.

There is obviously a very, very difficult balance to be struck regarding lockdown and the economy and I agree with a previous poster that the government in England has not handled the crisis well.

But if stupid people didn't keep holding parties and other unnecessary gatherings of many different kinds, then levels of the virus might have started to decline and economic activity might have been able to try to begin to get back to something more approaching normal by now.

It is very sad - tragic - and distressing that so many people have suffered mentally and economically. I am sorry to hear that your family has been affected. My income has suffered, too. But - and I really don't wish to sound insensitive - I try to console myself by remembering that I am, for the moment, still alive.

And as to cost-benefit analysis; well, what value would you put on each of those 66,000+ lives? Just how would you do the calculation?

Better being fined than someone losing their life!